Will Rogers Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Death, Hilarious

• There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Reading, Learning

  "The Manly Wisdom of Will Rogers". "Friars Club Bible of Jokes, Pokes, Roasts, and Toasts". Book by Nina Colman, p. 316, 2001.

• Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "The Graduation Speech I'd Give, if Anyone Asked" by Karina Bland, www.azcentral.com. June 03, 2015.

• The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Adversity

• A fool and his money are soon elected.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Money

• I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  In Saturday Review 25 Aug. 1962

• Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Smile, Money

• Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Hilarious, Parenting

  The Illiterate Digest "Warning to Jokers: Lay Off the Prince" (1924)

• Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Wisdom

  Letter in New York Times 29 Apr. 1930

• The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Hilarious, Fools Day

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

• An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Laughter, Food

• If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Dog, Thinking

• People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Letting Go, Humorous

  Will Rogers (1992). “Will Rogers at the Ziegfeld Follies”, p.44, University of Oklahoma Press

• Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Family

  Norman Vincent Peale, Marjorie Holmes, Arthur Gordon, Will Rogers (1995). “To father, with love: wisdom from Guideposts”, Dimensions for Living

• Always drink upstream from the herd.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Leadership, Drinking

  "The Manly Wisdom of Will Rogers". "Friars Club Bible of Jokes, Pokes, Roasts, and Toasts". Book by Nina Colman, p. 316, 2001.

• With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Humor, Law

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling, Frances N. Sterling (1993). “Will Rogers' World: America's Foremost Political Humorist Comments on the Twenties and Thirties--and Eighties and Nineties”, p.50, Rowman & Littlefield

• I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Worry

• If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Country, Sarcasm

  "Creative Leadership: Mining the Gold in Your Workforce". Book by A. S. Migs Damiani, p. 168, 1998.

• I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Party, Political Will

  "Will Rogers, Ambassador of Good Will, Prince of Wit and Wisdom". Book by Patrick Joseph O'Brien. Chapter 9, 1935.

• People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Funny, Crazy

• There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Hilarious, Women

• The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Humor, Two

• Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, People, Faces

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