Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions

Failed DYKs

This page is about submitting "Did You Know" entries. For suggesting DYK photo captions, see Uncyclopedia:DYK images. For a complete list of Didjaknoses, see Did You Know.

This is where you can submit {{DidYouKnow}} entries. List your submission(s) below, and if the admins decide it's worthwhile, it will be added to the main page template. You can sign your submissions if you want. Failed DYKs will be added to the newest archive after an admin is done choosing the ones that will go the front page.

Did You Know...[edit source]

“Thank you for recent ideas, they have been added. Keep 'em coming! We love them! ”
– Administrators on DYK submissions

...that it took three betrayals for me to finally understand… the world is just an elaborate tapestry of lies. The first to betray me was a god, my creator… my mother. The second was a human, my family... my friend. Consumed by hatred, he saw me as an abomination. The last, was one exactly like me, a hope for the future, a fledgling barely out of the nest. Powerless before his mortality, he broke his promise to me! My chest will never again be defined by worldly filth, I denounce the world and laugh in its face. Your era… is coming to an end. (Insert evil laugh here)
...that you are reading this?
...that Halloween is actually a secret plot orchestrated by the government for world domination?
...that Wikipedia is a parody of Uncyclopedia?
...No, you didn't! Stop lying!
...that both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris are stupid?
“...that this is not a traditional Did You Know?”
~ Oscar Wilde
...that I know that you know that I know?
...that Nobody is perfect?
...that Santa Claus is running for president?
...that you actually didn't know?
...ThAt tHiS Is nOt a TrAdItIoNaL DiD YoU KnOw?
...that you are being investigated by the FBI for being on Uncyclopedia?
...that this sentence is self-referential?
...that (CONTENT REDACTED)?
...that if you support Trump, you're stupid?
...that you have been eaten by a Grue? Restart?
...that your alternate self was eaten by a Grue?
...that Santa Claus is secretly a serial killer?
... That other people can prevent forest fires too?
... That you have something else to do?
...Chris Tarrant is to trains what Ash Ketchum is to Pokemon?
... That there are more planes in the water than submarines in the sky?
...incest is the difference between stepping on an ant and stepping on an aunt?
...Fire type Pokémon have been arrested for arson but not the fire related arson?
... that You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
... that there are 117 genders? what the fuck is going on.
... that you have 10 seconds before the bomb in your house explodes?
... The consumption of the grimace shake can be lethal?
...Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiokarabomelitokatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon contains fish?
... that brown and blue are actually the same colour?
... that Witch House has dark horror themes, murder, rape, skeletons, abortions and terrorism behind a four to the floor beat?
... that every sixty seconds in Africa a minute passes?
... we were having fun and now my phone is stuck up my husbands ass, someone is calling me, I can tell because he’s moaning loudly.
... What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo
...that this sentence is incomple
...I dang we dang they dang no dang, album?
... That I am in your walls?
…that I’m on my period?
…that I scored a 27 on the Sexual Compulsivity Scale?
…That Shrekism (religion of Shrek) is now the official religion of the USA.
... That you should be doing your job?
…That it’s offensive to call them “coloured pencils” and that we should call them “pencils of colour”?
…I yiffed your Asian dad last night?
...Bed69E is between Sprout and cricket field on the Colour Wheel?
…That the doctors removed my butter gland?
...that George and Peppa are looking for daddy pig’s glasses in Mummy and Daddy Pig’s room? PEPPA! GEORGE! DON’T LOOK IN ANY DRAWERS!
...that Uncyclopedia is run by people, especially one Jew? Kanun, a moderator. Technically, the site is run by Jews.
...that it's statistically unlikely that you will open this link?
...An Alabaman’s favourite dating website is Ancestry.com?
...that quiet people exist because they save their voice for orgasms?
...clitoris is girlpenis?
...that both Uncyclopedia and Illogicopedia are blocked in the Smithsonian museums of D.C.? No shit.
...that Tootie is currently in jail with no probation for violating her restraining order?
...I was going to tell a joke about smegma but then I realised it’s probably too cheesy badumtsh.
...that when Barrack Obama was the president of the United States, the White House was called the Black House?
...that Helga r*ped Arnold in the lost episode of Hey Arnold!?
...that if you are male and born in Pennsylvania you most likely had more than your umbilical cord cut as a child?
...that the police are at your door?
...that pizza is from cow pee and tomato blood.
...that these those thuse?
...that Mitch McConnell is not from Kentucky, but rather from The Ocean?
...my stage name is Phoebe Perlman?
...that cow smegma can be used as a cream cheese substitute?
...that you should not drink water? Drink beer instead!
...that it’s the year 1722 and people are lying to you?

... that Water™ is a Pepsi product?
... that if you scramble the letters in ‘spine’ you get ‘penis’?
... that Ivory is White, but is also not White?
... that Donald Trump is the first president to use MySpace to start a riot?
... that Delaware does not exist?
... that a police officer can’t lie to you, and if he does, it’s rude?
... that TikTok is actually an underground cult called MolestTok and has been sued many times by the U.S. government?
... where your milk comes from?
... That Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
...Eevee evolves into Dragonite?
... that Susie is a masturbator
... that Tokugawa Ieyasu had a bromance with William Adams in the 1600's?
... that I like to mass debate
... that I like Colombian nose candy
... that Donald Trump was the first president to have rabies while serving?
... that I cut off your hands?
... that ur moms gey?
... that ur dads trans?
... that ur gran's a man?
... that ur sister a mister?
... that ur brother a mother?
... that TikTok is forcing their users to "scroll down"
... that just like the earth has been proven to be flat for several years, so has your sperm count? Ha!
... the spider did go up the water spout but by doing so damaged my friends penis and now he can't pee anymore?
... A girl with breasts and a penis is a boy with testicles and no vaginus?
...I love Brazil nuts?
... people tend to have more sex on Labor Day?
...I don't just use incognito mode to look at porn?
...Hannah Montana could sink to the bottom of the ocean and nobody would care?
...Ur mum gey?
...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class.
... Farting in a church is considered as an act of terrorism?
... that everybody died in 2020 and now we're all ghosts?
... that popular ex wrestler The Rock is actually made of Marzipan?
...I love Anime girls with big tiddies being toe sucked in flip flops?
...That if you stacked all the ants in the world lengthwise, nothing actually happens?
... Disneyland is a plot by the American Government to get children to sell illegal substances?
... that Linus Van Pelt from Peanuts suffered from depression, anxiety, and alcohol addiction?
... That Alphabet Soup has taught more students the alphabet than public schools?
... That candy has always been yummy?
... That in a few years or so, Postal 2 will become a historical subject?
... The wae?
... That this sentence does not end with a period not question mark
... That aerogels are just a dumb piece of holographic square?
... That it would be 2023 already if humanity knew what they were doing?
... That everything is just a simulation and we all died in 2012?
... That I don't know how to [[Format]?
... that, since TV Tropes was inspired by Wikipedia, which is a parody of Uncyclopedia, TV Tropes is, by proxy, a parody of Uncyclopedia?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that NEO is known for its [[Short Length]]?
... that the fog is coming? The fog is coming. The fog is coming. The fog is coming. The fog is coming. The fog is coming.
...Mind control is constantly everywhere at all times and any thoughts you have ever thought in the past or will ever have thought in the future are being shown to you by someone else even those in which you think you think?
...That shaving your armpits can make you more aerodynamic when you fight?
...Testicles are balls?
...Your water supply has been tainted?
... the earth is flat. Your mom, dad, siblings, pets, teachers, your therapist and the government lied to you?
...that my money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds?
...that if you shaved all the lizards in the world, it would be a waste of time; they are already bald.
...that it's your fault your parents got divorced?
...that I'm living in your walls?
...that Congress is the opposite of Progress?
...that he started it?
...that you shouldn't commit suicide. That shit kills ya.
...that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 30s and 40s?
...that an orgasm is the only cure for the hiccups?
...that cheese is made out of cow cum?
...that half the people you know are below average? The other half know you.
...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
...that if the world ended, Elon Musk wouldn't give a shit because he can easily survive?
...that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds? We live in a society.
...that Obama's last name is... Obama? His first name is Barac- HOLY SHIT! HELP! HELP! THE GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO KILL ME! REMEMBER WHAT I SAID! REMEMBER WHAT I SAID-
...that I'm alive?
...that the government is going to kill me?
...that Obama had to change his last name because of me?
...that I'm gonna die, and can someone help me? Please. I need someone to communicate with me to live.
...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
...that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
...that you should invest in chicken stock?
...George Orwell wrote 1984 after his parents told him Santa Claus wasn't real?
...that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
...that Dihydrogen monoxide can kill you? Especially if you breathe it.
...that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
...that I'm back and I'm desperate?
...that Dr. Doom is actually only the fifth-evilest person from South Africa, barely losing to Mahatma Gandhi?
… that WPIX attempted trying to sue WLVI over the fact that unlike LVI, WPIX’s view count was the lowest out of any market in Baltimore?
...that last night I served, whoops... severed, your ears in your sleep? I did beat 'em. I did eat 'em. I suck'd 'em. I fuck'd 'em. I dumped them. I humped them. I blew 'em. I threw 'em. And finally when I shat em out, duct tape hath held back your shout.
...that you shouldn't eat ceramic plates because some contain Uranium which can be dangerous?
...that the seemingly contrasting phrases "what's up" and "what's down" actually mean the same thing?
...that some dude named Jordan rubbed heads with another dude named Jude? jesus christ...
...what it feels like, to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?
...that Josh Allen looks good in shorts?
...that Jay Cutler doesn't care?
...that my mom's name is also Martha?
...that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
...that your fly is unzipped?
...that Jenna Ortega is a fusion of Zendaya and Olivia Rodrigo?
...that Shawn Mendes is the most popular artist amongst closeted gay men?
...that Ed Sheeran is the most nationalist singer in his country? Well, you probably know that if you live in the same country as him.
...that Ram Ranch really rocks?
...that Charli D'Amelio is the TikTok version of Kim Kardashian?
...that Ariana Grande is Nickelodeon's only popstar?
...that even though Justin Bieber's looks have changed, his voice has not?
...that all cats deserve depth?
...that Selena Gomez is actually not what you think she is?
...that Ice Spice is secretly the sixth Spice Girl?
...that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
...that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
...that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
...that there are lofi beats to listen to whilst committing war crimes?
...that uncyclopedia mods are so lazy, they ask their users to think of DYK submissions?
... that you're reading this?

-Captian Obvious

...wait, what was I doing again

-Captain Oblivious

...that I'm better than this person in particular?
...that you're a procrastinator?
...that I have been banned from several countries, and am proud to say so?
...that it's not possible to reach pink level?
… That some people believe in a certain Sober Irishman?
...that whenever Dave Mustaine sells peace, he never knows who's buying?
...that Keyboard Cat wasn't actually a dog? I thought so too.
...that it's coming up, it's coming up, it's coming up, it's coming up, it's coming up, it's coming up, it's DARE?
...that Salmon is a fish?
...that I'm on my sixth can of beer and I just felt my car keys in my pocket?
…that I just put horse semen on my Taco Bell for the creamy texture?
...that I'm currently launching a nuke that's aimed to a daycare?
...did you know?
...that Ronald McDonald's version of masturbating is to honk his clown nose?
...that you're fired?!
...that your ears might contain spiders if you don´t regularly brush them?
...that Joe Biden was arrested for public nudity in the same year Christopher Columbus discovered the Caribbean Sea?
… that I have hidden many of my victims in your refrigerator?
… that Uncyclopedia currently has around 0.56% the amount of articles as Wikipedia?
… that I am actually dead?
… that 5 times 9 is 45? Neither did I.
… that this dumb website is a waste of time?
… that if you were to take out all your intestines and laid them end to end in a straight line, you’d be dead?
... if Cleopatra in Space was real she would need an astronaut suit otherwise she'd be a corpse floating in the endless universe.
... this metric hour has 10 minutes?
... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
... that You are not logged in!
... that Joe Biden at least is a normal boring human being?
... that blowjob in reality means i love you?
... that I only add facts when I feel like so?
... that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing so I made this DYK submission for no apparent reason?
... that the game Minecraft is secretly hiding families inside their spawners and is not allowed to leave and is forced to give birth to zombies and skeletons?
... that today is Christmas you dumb bastards? Stop wasting your time here and spend it with your family.
... that a lot of the DYK submissions are really fucking stupid.
... that in 2012 the planet Nibiru will collide with Earth and destroy everything?
... that one ant can eat an entire boulder, although it takes an extraordinarily long time?
... that the diameter of the observable universe 92.116 billion light years? That's longer than two football fields!
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
... that if everyone on Earth was gathered as a dense crowd on the moon, they would all die?
... that nobody asked?
... that Garfield is so fat that he can't see his ballsack, despite not being neutered?
... that studies have shown that eating insects is a great source of TV shock value and helps to induce regurgitation?
... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
... that you're scheduled to move to Ohio tomorrow?
... that suicide is rage-quitting life?
... that if you're reading this, $1 billion has just been charged to your credit card?
... that I breathed air yesterday?
... that if you're reading this, your computer will self destruc[explosion]?
... that if you stacked all the Coventry City fans on top of each other, they couldn't even reach the Premier League?
... that statistically, you have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding someone who actually loves you?
... that we know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two?
...your toes may not be properly fed? That’s right- toes require a steady diet of whole grain sand.
... that I'm only submitting this DYK to get my edit total up?
... that in Spanish, "chinga tu madre" means "have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called 'Evil 2.0', which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
...that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
...that I'm the reason you can't afford a house?
...the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
...Rebecca Black is a Dadaist?
...according to Pat Robertson, Christian music is the holiest type of music, and any other types are the spawn of the devil?
...Boyz II Men are alongside Blackstreet, the only gay boy bands consisting of black people?
...Maroon 5 is a cult for gay orgies?
...Nick Crompton is not from Compton?
...Puerto Rican rapper Big Pun was really, really fat?
...everyone knows that One Direction and Scatman John loved to stu-u-u-tter?
...that while reading this sentence, you have been eaten by a Grue?
...that I just full comboed The EmpError (expert lvl 31) on project sekai?
... no you didn't!
...that if you just stopped buying avocado toast you'd be able to get an entry on here?
... that I need husband, am farmer girl, am from usa?
...that Russia is the best and I’m being held captive by Vladimir Pudding?
...that you just lost the Game?
...that you're in Hell?
...that you're dead?
...that you're omnipotent?
...that nobody cares?
...MOCCASINS!
...that Fortnite is named after John Fortnite who famously killed 99 kids on an island?
...that Santa sees you while you're sleeping?
- ...and he knows when you're awake?
...that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that.
...that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
...that the ratio of dumb people in New York to dumb people in New Jersey is like, uh, 1:8:25?
...that your grandma will never know the song that goes doo doo doo dum dum, doo doo doo, dum dum?

Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions

Did You Know...[edit source]

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