~Versicles

Hello!
Just wanted to make an update for you guys regarding commission and refund status!
I'm currently in between jobs, I have been for the past month or so. I was previously working at a dead-end, minimum-wage job, for a year, and of course, with prices skyrocketing, that wasn't going to suffice any longer. At the start of May, I began job searching to find something in the higher-paying bracket. I'm in a particular situation where I'm not in not in the best area for jobs, I'm mostly surrounded by minimum wage jobs or jobs that require degrees and certificates that I don't have (Mainly nursing). I managed to find a job that I stuck with for around two weeks, but to be brutally honest, I realized the workplace was toxic and an absolute shit-hole that I got sucked into. They figured hiring more people would fix the mess that was taking place.
I went away for two weeks to handle doctor and dental visits in my home state (I'm not insured in the state I reside, this is due to no free healthcare, and I can't apply for the free ones because I don't meet their requirements) My pap exam results came back abnormal, with the very small possibility of cervical cancer. My doctor assured me that chances are that it will go away on its own. I have major dental problems, I will require wisdom teeth extraction. I need some root canals, but my insurance doesn't cover those and they quoted me 5 grand for the procedures. I basically came to the conclusion that I will be getting those teeth pulled, cause I can't afford the surgery.

I've also spoken to my doctor about my current weight that's been affecting my mental and physical health. I will be speaking to a weight specialist to talk about therapies, plans, medication, or even surgery. but at this current moment, I will be put on medication to kick-start my weight loss journey. The medication does have drastic side effects if my body doesn't take to it well, this includes mental fogs, rapid/irregular heartbeat, psychosis, panic, etc... It's a stimulant and I'm pretty confident I suffer ADHD, and I'm diagnosed with anxiety. But at the end of the day, I have to see how my body adapts to it. (if anyone is curious, the drug is phentermine )
I've already tried lifestyle changes, that my doctor has been aware of, we've only come to this option due to my failures.

That's all health-related problems at the end of the day. Once I returned back home after dealing with all of that, I ended up immediatly quitting/getting fired from the job I landed. An argument ensued due to being blamed for my lack of training in the position. Lots of management was fired, and it just wasn't the correct place for me to be. I've interviewed for another job, and I'm simply waiting to hear back by this Monday, if I received the position or not. If not, then I'm just going to have to keep applying and interviewing.

I'm quite mentally drained, there's a lot of shit on my mind and because of this, art has turned from something I love, into another mentally draining task. Each piece takes me hours to complete, and by the end of it, I see the other pieces I owe and I feel guilty that I couldn't get to them. My credit has been maxed out with issuing refunds, and I just want to get to a point where I find a job that pays decent, so I can work hard and refund. But until then, I'll be working on art as much as possible.

I'm sorry if this entire message was incoherent, but please understand the state I'm currently in at the moment. If theres anybody who can relate to the problems that I'm dealing with right now, whether it be from jobs, art, phsyical or mental health, as much as I hate to ask, I'd love to have someone to speak to. I'm at a breaking point and its hard to see how things can go up from here...