Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men Quotes

“Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that.
"Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“I have ways of making extra money when I need it", he said, slightly offended. "When Gilbert needed money for graduate school, I sold a kidney on the black market for tuition."

We can grow those back?" I asked.

It wasn't my kidney.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“I haven't had a lot of good, soft things in my life," he said against my forehead. "Not since my family sent me away. Apart from being your sire and feeling that pull to you, it's that goodness, that softness and warmth, along with the resolve and strength in you, that I love. Being turned hasn't taken that from you. If someone were going to design the perfect mate for me, it would be you. Even when you infuriate me with your pigheaded stubbornness and your temper and incredible lack of anything resembling self-preservation—"
"Stop describing me please."
"You're the most fascinating, maddening, adorable creature I've ever met," he said, sighing and pushing my hair out of my eyes. "So, when I seem possessive or I'm raving like a lunatic, it's just that part of me is still very afraid that I'll lose that—that I'll lose you. I love you.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Most of the funeral stuff is going to be done during daylight hours,” I said.
“I’m not even going to be able to attend the burial.
Humans get upset when vampires burst into flames right next to them.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“He stroked a hand across my shoulders. "You know, I've never seen this agressively intellectual side of you before. It's rather disturbing and yet somehow a little sexy."

Which is pretty much how we define our relationship", I said.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Are you sure about that he called off the wedding, Jolene? Sometimes Zeb misspells stuff in e-mails, and it comes across badly.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Did I just get psychically pimp-slapped by a little old lady?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf’s chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation.
Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he ’d been engaged to Jolene. He’d had several hunting “accidents” while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn’t hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft.
He would never get that pinkie toe back.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“...and challenging your neighborhood to a round of competitive outdoor decorating. Because you’re not really celebrating the birth of Jesus unless your house can be spotted by passing aircraft.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being a woman if I never have children.”

“Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick.” Jettie snorted.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“He’s practically stalking me. He just won’t let it go. He’s just being … he’s being a jackass with a flaky jackass crust and a delicious jackass filling.”
“So he’s jackass pie?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“To the highly organized mind, death is just another adventure.
‘That’s from Harry Potter,’ I said. ‘Dumbledore said it in the first book.’
‘Trust you to know.’” (p. 273).”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Why is your fiancée insisting that I dress like Naomi from Mama’s Family?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“I poked him in the chest. 'First of all, yes, it was. Lacy cards and love tokens were widely exchanged even in Victorian times. By now, you should know better than to screw with me on historical trivia.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Such is the delicate social web of a small Southern town. I knew that they knew. My family knew that some of them knew. They knew I knew that they knew. But none of us said anything, because that would cause unpleasantness. And we are nothing if not pleasant … when other people are watching.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Where do you even buy a black lace handkerchief? Widows R Us?”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Lace it with Ex-Lax. It will do her some good.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“He’s wearing a T-shirt that says, ‘One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.’ I don’t think I’ve ever seen a vampire in a novelty T-shirt before. Extraordinary, really.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“So, you purchased ancient Babylonian texts, which may or may not call forth Gozer the Destroyer, on eBay?” Zeb asked.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“She’d been widowed four times, via milk truck, anaphylactic shock, spider bite, and lightning strike (the lamented, aforementioned Grandpa Fred). I wrote a poem titled “Grandpa’s in an Urn” in fifth grade. I had to spend a lot of time in the guidance counselor’s office after that.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“So, the reception was going to be fun. As much fun as one could have while dressed as Satan’s tea cozy. The Naomi Harper bridesmaids’ dresses were a concession to the McClaine family tradition of renting formal wear from Jolene’s aunt Vonnie’s dress shop, the Bridal Barn.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Zeb’s father, Floyd, had expressed little interest in the wedding after he found out there wouldn’t be a Velveeta fountain or a big screen showing the scheduled UK basketball game.”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“When an undesirable suitor is unwilling to accept a werewolf female’s refusal, her family is likely to step in to help communicate her feelings more clearly. It can take said suitor six to eight weeks to heal up from the clan’s communication skills. — Mating Rituals and Love Customs of the Were”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Humans who prove unfaithful to their werespouses are rarely heard from again.
-Mating Rituals and Love Customs of the Were”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men

“Humans who prove unfaithful to their warehouses are rarely heard from again.
-Mating Rituals and Love Customs of the Were”
― Molly Harper, Nice Girls Don't Date Dead Men