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Hollow Man II (2006)
Hollow Man 2 doesn't have much going for it.
I recently watched Hollow Man 2 (2006) on Tubi. The storyline follows the mysterious events after the death of Dr. Devin Villiers. His close friends and colleagues begin to be killed off by an invisible assassin, and two detectives must do their best to protect Dr. Maggie Dalton, who may hold the key to understanding who's hunting her-and why.
Directed by Claudio Fäh (Northmen: A Viking Saga), the film stars Christian Slater (True Romance), Peter Facinelli (Twilight), Laura Regan (Dead Silence), and David McIlwraith (Cruel Intentions 2).
This is a strange movie. The storyline is just okay, and while there are some twists and turns, most of the reveals feel mediocre, average, or just awkward. The acting from the main characters is decent but nothing standout. The action scenes are also just okay, and while the kills are solid, watching someone get choked or stabbed by an invisible force didn't really work for me. I wasn't a fan of the ending either, and I didn't expect the odd inclusion of a character resembling Killer Croc. There are just some really strange moments in this film.
In conclusion, Hollow Man 2 doesn't have much going for it. I'd give it a 3/10 and recommend skipping it.
Married to the Mob (1988)
Married to the Mob is a lighthearted romantic comedy with strong performances.
I recently rewatched Married to the Mob (1988) on Tubi. The storyline follows the wife of a mobster who loses her husband in a mob hit. Trying to escape the mob lifestyle and live independently, she soon finds herself caught between her late husband's obsessed former employer and an undercover cop, who wants to use her to bring down the mob boss. All she wants is to start fresh, but she gets stuck between the mob and the police. What could possibly go wrong?
Directed by Jonathan Demme (The Silence of the Lambs), the film stars Michelle Pfeiffer (Scarface), Alec Baldwin (The Departed), Dean Stockwell (Quantum Leap), Joan Cusack (Working Girl), Matthew Modine (Full Metal Jacket), and Al Lewis (The Munsters).
This is one of those movies that's more fun than it is great. It's a lighthearted comedy with a fun portrayal of New York, a cliché but amusing depiction of the mob, and an impressive cast. Michelle Pfeiffer is absolutely stunning, though I wasn't a fan of her "haircut." The subplots are enjoyable, especially the jealous wife character, who is wild, unpredictable, and hilarious. Dean Stockwell makes for a great villain, and while Matthew Modine is solid as the undercover cop, he seems a bit out of his league in any romantic scenes with Pfeiffer. The storyline is engaging, and the conclusion is satisfying. There's a lot to like here.
In conclusion, Married to the Mob is a lighthearted romantic comedy with strong performances. I'd give it a 7/10 and strongly recommend it.
The Winter Witch (2022)
Winter Witch doesn't offer much in terms of redeeming qualities.
I recently watched the UK film 🇬🇧 Winter Witch (2022) on Tubi. The storyline follows a journalist and her daughter as they return to the journalist's hometown to write an article about a legendary witch, rumored to have killed seven people. Just as they arrive, murders begin happening around town. The question is, can the journalist solve the mystery before she or her daughter becomes the next victim?
Written and directed by Richard John Taylor (Vengeance), the film stars Rula Lenska (Queen Kong), Paul Hughes (Us or Them), Ryan Noir (Ballistic), and Jimmy "The Bee" Bennett (Dead Again).
While Winter Witch has horror elements, it often feels more like a family drama with dark undertones. The settings and backdrops are well-chosen, and the acting is decent, but the film consistently fails to deliver anything truly sinister or frightening. Moments that seem like they're building up to something eerie are often followed by a quick pan to the woods with spooky music, and that's about it. It's disappointing because there are subplots with potential that, if better developed, could have made the film worthwhile.
In conclusion, Winter Witch doesn't offer much in terms of redeeming qualities. I'd rate it a 2/10 and recommend skipping it.
The Care Bears Movie (1985)
The Care Bears Movie is a nostalgic 80s gem.
I recently rewatched The Care Bears Movie (1985) on Tubi. The storyline follows the Care Bears as they try to help two orphans find hope and happiness. Meanwhile, another orphan, who has fallen into unfortunate circumstances, seeks redemption through dark and evil ways. The Care Bears must show this troubled orphan that kindness is the key to true happiness.
This film is co-directed by Arna Selznick (Little Bear) and Jay Miller (My Pet Monster, Jeopardy!), and features the voices of Mickey Rooney (Breakfast at Tiffany's), Georgia Engel (The Mary Tyler Moore Show), Brian George (The Boxtrolls), and Harry Dean Stanton (Alien).
This movie is pure 80s nostalgia from start to finish. The animation style is exactly what you'd expect from that era, reminiscent of An American Tail. The Care Bears are perfectly portrayed-easy to root for and even making you want to revisit their world. The Care Bear cousins are also nicely woven into the story, and the plot works well as a reason to have a Care Bears movie. The songs are fun but not overdone, and the heartwarming ending lands just right. Plus, the Care Bear Stare proves to be an underrated superpower! There's so much to enjoy here.
In conclusion, The Care Bears Movie is a nostalgic 80s gem. I'd give it an 9/10 and strongly recommend it.
Jailbait (1993)
Jailbait could have been a gritty underground cop drama, but it misses the mark.
I recently watched Jailbait (1993) on Tubi. The storyline follows two sisters who get caught up in a sex trafficking ring. When a murder occurs, one of the sisters goes on the run, chased by both the police and the ring's muscle. A detective steps in to try and save the day.
Directed by Rafal Zielinski (State Park), the film stars C. Thomas Howell (The Outsiders), Renée Humphrey (Mallrats), Krista Errickson (Deadly Lessons), and Dean Norris (Breaking Bad).
There's nothing special about this movie. The plot is straightforward and predictable, lacking the grit it really needed. C. Thomas Howell overacts as the lead, coming off as if he's trying too hard, and the villain's performance is equally average. There's some nudity, but not to the extent you'd expect from this type of film. Overall, there's not much to see here.
In conclusion, Jailbait could have been a gritty underground cop drama, but it misses the mark. I'd rate it a 4/10 and recommend skipping it.
Salem's Lot (2024)
Salem's Lot has enough worthwhile elements to make it worth a watch, but it doesn't quite reach the heights of the original.
Last night, I watched Salem's Lot (2024) on MAX. The story follows an author struggling with writer's block who returns to his hometown, hoping for inspiration for his next book. Soon after, strange supernatural events begin to occur around town, and a mysterious blood virus outbreak seems to be spreading. A new neighbor might be behind the recent string of unfortunate events.
Directed by Gary Dauberman (Annabelle Comes Home), the film stars Lewis James Pullman (Top Gun: Maverick), Alfre Woodard (Annabelle), Makenzie Leigh (The Slap), and William Sadler (The Mist).
This movie came close to being really good but fell short in several key areas. The casting is solid, except for Lewis Pullman. I didn't find him convincing as the central author, and some of his moments felt awkward and inauthentic. That said, the cinematography, sets, and period depiction were excellent. The film had a classic Hollywood horror feel, with surprisingly well-done CGI. The vampires and ghouls looked fantastic, and the glowing cross sequences were a highlight. The classic "children at the window" scenes are always chilling, and the "thirsty" scene stood out as a strong moment.
The kills maintained the "made-for-television" style of the original, often cutting away after bites, which felt a bit tame. I appreciated the use of the drive-in setting to lock in the period, but I wish there had been more scenes with the villain. The final battle could have been stronger, though the ultimate resolution was satisfying. The soundtrack was another strong point, complementing the atmosphere well.
In conclusion, Salem's Lot has enough worthwhile elements to make it worth a watch, but it doesn't quite reach the heights of the original. I'd score it a 6/10 and recommend seeing it once.
Traitor (2008)
Traitor is a decent espionage film with just enough unique elements to make it worth a watch.
I recently rewatched Traitor (2008) on Tubi. The film follows a former U. S. soldier who is a devout follower of the Holy Quran, selling weapons and bombs to various terrorist organizations in the Middle East. He partners with a new ally and heads to the United States to carry out a series of bombings intended to cause mass destruction and send a powerful message. Can anyone in the U. S. government stop him, or will he continue to outwit them as he always has?
Directed by Jeffrey Nachmanoff (Hollywood Palms) and starring Don Cheadle (Hotel Rwanda), Guy Pearce (Memento), Archie Panjabi (San Andreas), Neal McDonough (Minority Report), and Jeffrey Daniels (Dumb & Dumber).
Traitor has a capable cast but ultimately feels a bit underwhelming. The storyline and execution come off as a watered-down Jason Bourne film in many respects. However, I appreciated the infusion of religion into the plot, which added a more complex layer to the character motivations. Don Cheadle gives a solid performance in the lead role, and while the action and fight scenes are entertaining, they don't particularly stand out.
Overall, Traitor is a decent espionage film with just enough unique elements to make it worth a watch. I'd give it a 6/10 and recommend watching it once.
Viral (2016)
Viral is a fairly average and straightforward addition to the horror genre. It's worth a watch for diehard horror fans but isn't groundbreaking.
I recently watched Viral (2016) on Tubi. The story centers on a mass outbreak in which the infected become man-eating creatures, instantly spreading the virus. Two sisters, along with one of the sister's boyfriends, find themselves quarantined at home while their parents go missing during the chaos. As they grow restless waiting for the quarantine to end, they make the fateful decision to attend a house party, which turns out to be a costly mistake.
Co-directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, who previously teamed up on Paranormal Activity 3, the film stars Sofia Black-D'Elia (The Promise), Analeigh Tipton (Vengeance), Michael Kelly (Dawn of the Dead), and Colson Baker (The King of Staten Island).
If you can get past MGK (Colson Baker) being in this film-why he was cast is beyond me, lol-there are actually some redeeming qualities. The movie is well-shot and cleanly produced. The acting is solid, with the family dynamic between the sisters feeling authentic. The makeup and effects for the infected are impressive and well-executed. The horror elements, however, are hit or miss. While there are some good kills and gore, a few scenes rely too heavily on CGI, making them a bit cringeworthy. The storyline is fairly straightforward and predictable, but it's engaging enough that you'll want to see how it plays out.
In conclusion, Viral is a fairly average and straightforward addition to the horror genre. It's worth a watch for diehard horror fans but isn't groundbreaking. I'd score it 4.5-5/10 and recommend it only with the appropriate expectations.
Rasen (1998)
Spiral takes the series in a direction that had potential, but it lacked the horror elements needed to keep it engaging.
I recently rewatched the third film in the Ringu series, Spiral (1998), on Tubi. The story follows a friend of the mother and child who die after watching the infamous tape. Seeking answers, he watches the tape himself, unknowingly unleashing the spirit within. As he grapples with this, his friend's spirit attempts to protect him until the curse can be broken.
Directed by Jôji Iida (Dragon Head), the film stars Kôichi Satô (When the Last Sword is Drawn), Miki Nakatani (Ringu 1 & 2), Yutaka Matsushige (Princess Blade), and Hinako Saeki (Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah).
This film offers an interesting take on the Ring universe, but it didn't quite work for me. It felt like they were trying to blend elements from Ringu and Ju-on, which didn't mesh well. The mother and child storyline has always been part of the Ringu lore, but here it's played out in a more dramatic fashion, losing the horror elements I typically enjoy in this series. While the film opens with a strong autopsy scene, that ended up being the highlight for me. The romantic subplot felt cheesy, and the "full-circle" ending failed to land as intended.
In conclusion, Spiral takes the series in a direction that had potential, but it lacked the horror elements needed to keep it engaging. I'd score it 4.5/10 and recommend skipping it.
Navy Seals (1990)
Navy Seals isn't exactly a "good" movie, but it's a fun watch for fans of the action genre, especially if you enjoy shows like The A-Team.
I recently rewatched one of my childhood favorites, Navy Seals (1990), on Tubi. The film follows a group of Navy SEALs who are finally getting a break and readjusting to normal life when a group of terrorists steals military weapons. They're quickly called back into action to save the world and recover the stolen arms.
Directed by Lewis Teague (Cujo), the film stars Charlie Sheen (Major League), Bill Paxton (Aliens), Dennis Haysbert (Heat), Joanne Whalley (Willow), and S. Epatha Merkerson (Law & Order).
Navy Seals was a staple on HBO when I was growing up, and watching it now brings back a lot of nostalgia. The movie features a strong cast and a colorful mix of characters, complete with some great '80s-style one-liners. While there are plenty of cheesy moments and implausible scenarios, that's part of the film's charm. There's a tow truck scene that's downright terrible, yet it still makes me smile. The action scenes are serviceable, with the finale being the highlight-offering a classic, explosive conclusion.
In the end, Navy Seals isn't exactly a "good" movie, but it's a fun watch for fans of the action genre, especially if you enjoy shows like The A-Team. I'd give it a 5/10 and only recommend it if you're in the mood for some light, nostalgic action with tempered expectations.
Dark Ride (2006)
Dark Ride isn't a good movie by traditional standards, but it's a must-see for fans of "so bad it's good" horror films.
I recently rewatched Dark Ride (2006) on Tubi. The storyline follows a group of friends on a road trip across the country who decide to stop at a closed amusement park for the night. Unbeknownst to them, a serial killer who escaped from a nearby insane asylum-where he had committed murders a decade earlier-has returned to finish what he started.
Directed by Craig Singer (Dead Dogs Lie), the film stars Patrick Renna (The Sandlot), Jamie-Lynn Sigler (The Sopranos), Andrea Bogart (General Hospital), Jennifer Tisdale (Mr. Deeds), and David Clayton Rogers (Skylight).
I really enjoyed the use of Coney Island as a setting, and Patrick Renna's performance was a highlight-his dialogue had me laughing, and there's a great Deer Hunter reference. The atmosphere, particularly the funhouse, was also well-done, and the background music added to the horror vibe. While the premise was straightforward and fun, the execution of the kills fell flat, and the "big reveal" was predictable.
In conclusion, Dark Ride isn't a good movie by traditional standards, but it's a must-see for fans of "so bad it's good" horror films. I'd give it a 4/10 and recommend it to horror fans, as long as you go in with the right expectations.
Jacknife (1989)
Jacknife is a well-crafted, must-see character study about war veterans.
I recently watched Jacknife (1989) on Prime. The story follows two Vietnam veterans who reconnect after years of estrangement, caused by a tragic event that led to the death of a mutual friend. When one of them starts falling in love with the other's sister, the unresolved trauma from their past threatens to derail their chances at happiness.
Directed by David Hugh Jones (The Christmas Wife), the film stars Robert De Niro (Casino), Kathy Baker (Edward Scissorhands), Ed Harris (Needful Things), Sloane Shelton (All the President's Men), and Charles S. Dutton (Alien 3).
The cast delivers elite performances, and seeing Robert De Niro, Ed Harris, and Charles Dutton in their younger days-complete with hair-is a treat. This film offers a fantastic depiction of veterans struggling to reintegrate into society and grappling with finding any form of happiness, let alone love. The acting is outstanding, with the opening fishing scene providing some humor, though much of the film is a fantastic character study. The character of Martha reminded me a lot of Adrienne from Rocky, in the way she quietly supports those around her.
Everything feels incredibly authentic, and the challenges the characters face throughout the story drive home its message perfectly. This film excels in its storytelling, and who doesn't appreciate a movie where the main character drives an El Camino?
In conclusion, Jacknife is a well-crafted, must-see character study about war veterans. I would rate it 10/10 and strongly recommend it.
La corta notte delle bambole di vetro (1971)
Short Night of Glass Dolls is an inconsistent film with some worthwhile moments and clear flaws.
I recently watched the Italian film 🇮🇹 Short Night of Glass Dolls (1972) on Tubi. The storyline follows an American journalist in Portugal whose girlfriend mysteriously goes missing. Soon after, the journalist is found dead-or is he? Meanwhile, a detective uncovers a string of murdered women, and the clues point to a mysterious gentlemen's club where orgies and cult worship take place. How are the dead man, the missing women, and the club connected?
Directed by Aldo Lado (Who Saw Her Die?), the film stars Ingrid Thulin (Wild Strawberries), Jean Sorel (The Day of the Jackal), Mario Adorf (Execution Squad), Barbara Goldbach (The Spy Who Loved Me), and Daniele Dublino (The Killer Nun).
Short Night of Glass Dolls is a bit uneven, with both well-executed elements and some noticeable shortcomings. The acting can feel inconsistent and stiff at times, with dialogue that occasionally comes off as rigid and unnatural. However, the psychological aspects are well-crafted, particularly the portrayal of what goes through a person's mind when they believe they are dead. The killer's mindset is also effectively conveyed. The horror focuses more on the aftermath of murders-bodies and corpses-rather than traditional giallo-style stalking and stabbing. Still, the build-up to the final act is strong, and I found the ending clever and worthwhile.
In conclusion, Short Night of Glass Dolls is an inconsistent film with some worthwhile moments and clear flaws. I'd rate it 5.5/10 and would only recommend it to diehard fans of Italian cinema from this era.
Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)
Joker: Folie à Deux isn't quite as good as the first film, but it stands on its own as a unique, compelling piece of cinema.
I attended an advanced screening of Joker: Folie à Deux (2024) this evening. The storyline follows Arthur Fleck after the events of the first film, framed as a sort of prison drama. He is set to be reevaluated for his crimes and must return to court. In order to defend himself, he must convince the world that there are two versions of him: Arthur Fleck and The Joker. As he prepares for his trial, he meets a woman who changes his life forever-but will she help his case, or send him spiraling in an entirely new direction?
Directed by Todd Phillips (The Hangover), the film stars Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line), Lady Gaga (A Star is Born), Catherine Keener (Capote), Brendan Gleeson (28 Days Later), Steve Coogan (The Other Guys),!and Harry Lawtey (The Pale Blue Eye).
I could watch a million of these Joker movies. Joaquin Phoenix is a national treasure, once again delivering an iconic performance of a man battling his inner demons-except now, love is the new demon in his life. His seamless transformation from The Joker to Arthur Fleck and back is a masterclass in acting. The entire cast delivers tremendous performances, and every scene Phoenix shares with Lady Gaga and Brendan Gleeson is masterfully crafted. Their dialogue, mannerisms, and chemistry are pitch-perfect for the story.
The filmmaking here is top-notch, with stunning cinematography, lighting, and camera work. While some of the musical numbers were hit or miss, certain songs were perfect for fans who understand the Joker's inner turmoil. One song in particular, "The Joker Is Me," is an absolute standout-a 10/10 moment that resonates deeply with the audience. There's also a courtroom scene featuring "Mr. Puddles" that's cinematic gold. The writing is sharp, with lines like "no more singing" serving as a clever relationship metaphor. The ending is completely unexpected, making the film even more enjoyable.
In conclusion, Joker: Folie à Deux isn't quite as good as the first film, but it stands on its own as a unique, compelling piece of cinema. I'd score it an 8/10 and strongly recommend it.
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
Kingdom of the Spiders is a gem of the animal horror genre that I would strongly recommend.
I recently rewatched the classic Kingdom of the Spiders (1977) on Tubi. The storyline follows a small Arizona town where livestock mysteriously begin dying from spider bites. As the local law enforcement and a veterinarian investigate, they discover the town is in the path of a massive tarantula migration, and there may be little they can do to stop it...
This film is directed by John 'Bud' Cardos (The Day Time Ended), and stars William Shatner (Star Trek), Tiffany Bolling (Wicked, Wicked), Woody Strode (The Quick and the Dead), and Hoke Howell (Far and Away).
I loved this movie as a kid, and watching it again decades later, it surprisingly holds up with its charm and horror elements. The first hour isn't really a horror film-it's more of a cheesy, lighthearted William Shatner love story... and who doesn't love a young William Shatner? In some ways, it even feels like a western. But with 45 minutes left, things take a turn. Yards start filling with spiders, and the film really takes off, becoming a fun mix of The Birds and Arachnophobia. The scene with the mom and little boy in the backyard is fantastic, ramping up the tension and desperation. The impact of the spider invasion on the town is a lot of fun, and the transition to survival horror in the final act is great. The final scene, in particular, is horror gold and highly underrated.
In conclusion, Kingdom of the Spiders is a gem of the animal horror genre that I would strongly recommend. I'd give it a solid 8/10.
The Defiant Ones (1958)
The Defiant Ones is a masterpiece in nearly every aspect.
I recently watched the classic The Defiant Ones (1958) on Tubi. The film follows two convicts-one white and one black-who escape while chained together. The white convict is racist and harbors prejudice against black people, but the two must work together if they hope to succeed in their escape.
Directed by Stanley Kramer (Guess Who's Coming to Dinner) and starring Tony Curtis (Some Like It Hot), Sidney Poitier (In the Heat of the Night), Cara Williams (Boomerang), and Lon Chaney Jr. (The Wolf Man).
This movie is a powerful blend of character study and social commentary. The performances are exceptional, especially Curtis and Poitier, whose portrayals are nothing short of legendary. Their dynamic, the constant push and pull between them, is masterfully executed, making their character evolution both compelling and heartwarming. The film's tension and adversity are palpable in every scene. The sequence involving the woman and child, leading up to the iconic train finale, is cinematic gold.
In conclusion, The Defiant Ones is a masterpiece in nearly every aspect. I would rate it 10/10 and highly recommend it.
Air Force One (1997)
Air Force One is what you'd expect-an above-average action flick boosted by a strong cast, but it doesn't bring much new to the genre.
I recently rewatched Air Force One (1997) on Tubi. The storyline follows the U. S. president as he delivers an anti-terrorist speech in Russia. On the flight home, his plane is hijacked by terrorists who threaten to execute the passengers unless their demands are met. The president had declared in his speech that he doesn't negotiate with terrorists-now they're about to learn just how serious he was.
This film is directed by Wolfgang Petersen (The NeverEnding Story), and stars Harrison Ford (Star Wars), Gary Oldman (True Romance), Glenn Close (Fatal Attraction), William H. Macy (Shameless), and Dean Stockwell (Quantum Leap).
I've always felt this movie was somewhat overrated, even when it was first released. The cast is impressive, and Gary Oldman shines as the villain. Glenn Close and Dean Stockwell provide solid supporting performances as well. However, the plot feels like Die Hard on a plane, with Harrison Ford stepping into the John McClane-type role-and I'm not convinced Ford was the right fit for this character. The action scenes are decent, and the cat-and-mouse game between the hijacked plane and the U. S. government adds enough suspense to keep things interesting. The conclusion is straightforward but still entertaining.
In conclusion, Air Force One is what you'd expect-an above-average action flick boosted by a strong cast, but it doesn't bring much new to the genre. I'd rate it 6/10 and recommend watching it once.
The Lockdown Hauntings (2021)
The Lockdown Haunting doesn't offer much beyond a strong opening narration by Tony Todd.
I recently watched the UK film 🇬🇧 The Lockdown Haunting (2021) on Tubi. The storyline is set during the Covid-19 pandemic, where everyone is in lockdown. The spirit of a serial killer is unleashed and begins targeting people isolated at home. Can a group of ghost hunters track down the spirit and save society?
Directed by Howard J. Ford (Never Let Go), the film stars Tony Todd (Candyman), Angela Dixon (Never Let Go), Heather Peace (Screwed), and Justin K. Hayward (Escape).
I'll generally watch anything Tony Todd is in, but unfortunately, he isn't used much here. His opening narration is solid, but after that, he's hardly seen. The remaining actors give performances that feel more suited for a made-for-TV movie, and it's hard to care about the characters or their fates. The film feels low-budget, with subpar CGI, and often seems like it's trying too hard.
In conclusion, The Lockdown Haunting doesn't offer much beyond a strong opening narration by Tony Todd. I'd give it a 3/10 and recommend skipping it.
The Barbarians (1987)
The Barbarians is cheesy but still a fun watch. With stronger writing, it could have been a real gem.
I recently rewatched The Barbarians (1987) on Tubi. The story follows two brothers who are kidnapped and forced into slavery. Years later, they reunite, escape, and seek revenge on those responsible for killing their family and enslaving them.
Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust), the film stars David Paul and Peter Paul (Double Trouble), Richard Lynch (Deathsport), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), George Eastman (Antropophagus), and Eva LaRue (All My Children.
This was a childhood favorite of mine. The sets, props, backdrops, and costumes are all fantastic and really pull you into the world. Fun fact: some of the attire and props were repurposed from Red Sonja. The initial setup with the horse chase is well-executed and entertaining, and the wounds, gore, and effects are solid, with some clever use of fire. Unfortunately, the two main characters are portrayed as bumbling idiots, which I didn't find necessary. It's unclear if this was meant for comedy, a deliberate character choice, or a limitation of the actors. The choreography and sword fights also leave a lot to be desired, and the final battle was underwhelming.
In conclusion, The Barbarians is cheesy but still a fun watch. With stronger writing, it could have been a real gem. I'd give it a 5.5/10 and recommend it, but only with the right expectations.
Azrael (2024)
Azrael is a violent, gore-filled thrill ride that's a lot of fun.
I recently caught the Shudder original Azrael (2024) in theaters. The storyline is set in a world where no one speaks, and the land is overrun by man-eating monsters that are attracted to the scent of blood. A young woman escapes from a compound led by a pregnant woman, only to be hunted down as they plan to use her as a sacrifice to the creature lurking in the woods. But she's not going down without a fight.
Directed by E. L. Katz (Small Crimes), the film stars Samara Weaving (Babylon), Vic Carmen Sonne (Holiday), Nathan Stewart-Jarrett (Candyman), and Eero Milonoff (The Good Driver).
While the movie isn't groundbreaking, it's definitely a gory and entertaining watch. Samara Weaving delivers a phenomenal performance as the lead, and the villains are ruthless and well-portrayed. The violence and horror elements shine, with intense fight scenes and brutal eating sequences. The gore is plentiful, with some well-executed cut scenes, and the special effects team did an impressive job. The film also makes great use of sound, as the characters can't speak, adding to the eerie atmosphere. The final showdown is worth the build-up, making the entire journey worthwhile.
In conclusion, Azrael is a violent, gore-filled thrill ride that's a lot of fun. I'd give it a solid 7/10 and strongly recommend it.
Curse of the Blair Witch (1999)
Curse of the Blair Witch is one of the finest mockumentaries ever made.
I recently watched Curse of the Blair Witch (1999) on Tubi, a mockumentary that delves into the history of Burkittsville, Maryland, a small town with a dark past involving witches. Over the years, mysterious disappearances of children have plagued the town. An amateur film crew sets out to investigate the town's haunted history for a documentary, only to vanish themselves. A recently discovered video might hold the key to what happened to them...
This mockumentary was created by Daniel Myrick (Believers), and Eduardo Sanchez (Satanic Hispanics), and features Heather Donahue (Taken), Joshua Leonard (Prom Night), and Michael C. Williams (Satanic Hispanics).
I remember watching this during my freshman year of college and being convinced it was real until I did a Google search the next day at work. After that, I had to see The Blair Witch Project. We caught the opening day showing at the Virgin Mega Record Store in Times Square, and the theater was absolutely electric from start to finish. It was the ultimate horror viewing experience, with the audience screaming like they were on a rollercoaster ride-it was unforgettable.
As for the mockumentary itself, it's phenomenal. Everything feels authentic, and narrator Peg O'Keef (She-Hulk: Attorney at Law) does an excellent job weaving the story together. The history of the town is fascinating, from the Puritan days to the tragic events involving children by the river. Every aspect felt believable, and the "locals" give convincing, realistic interviews. I particularly liked how some interviewees were believers, while others were skeptical, adding depth to the narrative. The way it ties into the events of The Blair Witch Project, including the college students and their doomed project, is brilliantly executed. This remains one of the greatest horror marketing tools of all time-William Castle would've been proud.
In conclusion, Curse of the Blair Witch is one of the finest mockumentaries ever made. I'd score it a 10/10 and strongly recommend it.
Megalopolis (2024)
It's truly disappointing that with all these resources and such a talented cast, this is what Coppola delivered
My wife and I watched Megalopolis (2024) in theaters last night. The storyline takes place in a futuristic, post-apocalyptic city called New Rome, where two wealthy families-the Cicero family, led by the traditionalist mayor, and the Caesar family, who possess unique artistic and architectural abilities-are at odds. The mayor's daughter is in love with the young, rising star of the Caesar family and seeks to bridge the gap between the two worlds, though the men in power are resistant to change.
This film, written and directed by the legendary Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather) features an incredible cast, including Adam Driver (Ferrari), Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad), Jon Voight (Anaconda), Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix), Dustin Hoffman (Rain Man), Talia Shire (Rocky), Aubrey Plaza (White Lotus), Shia LaBeouf (Transformers), and Nathalie Emmanuel (Game of Thrones).
Despite having all the elements to be a masterpiece-an outstanding cast, stunning cinematography, creative costume design, excellent lighting, and top-tier CGI-the writing was overly ambitious, and some performances felt miscast and awkward. Specifically, Adam Driver and Shia LaBeouf were poorly suited for their roles, with Driver's performance coming across as especially weak. It felt like a younger DiCaprio would have been a better fit for Driver's character, and LaBeouf's role seemed unnecessary altogether. This is a major issue because the film hinges on Driver's performance, which unfortunately falls flat.
On the other hand, Giancarlo Esposito and Jon Voight delivered standout performances, but even their brilliance couldn't save a plot that's disjointed, awkward, and full of forced technological and innovative elements that don't work. The world Coppola creates is vast and visually impressive, but it isn't enough to compensate for the film's awkward pacing and inconceivable storyline.
In the end, it's truly disappointing that with all these resources and such a talented cast, this is what Coppola delivered. I'd give it a 2/10 and recommend skipping it.
Werewolf Santa (2023)
Werewolf Santa is exactly as bad as you'd expect.
I recently watched Werewolf Santa (2023) on Tubi. The storyline follows Santa as he's out delivering presents on Christmas Eve when he's attacked and turned into a werewolf. Meanwhile, a local blogger with a struggling YouTube channel finds her hometown plagued by werewolves-an unexpected turn that might just be the big break she's been looking for.
Written and directed by Airell Anthony Hayles (Spider Inside Hernandez), the film stars Katherine Rodden (Blood Clots), Mark Arnold (Blade Runner 2049), Emily Booth (Inbred), and John Bloom (a.k.a. Joe Bob Briggs).
The film opens with a fun animated sequence narrated by Joe Bob Briggs, which, along with the Santa Claus orgy in the woods, ends up being one of the most memorable parts of the movie. The ladies in that scene are certainly eye-catching, but beyond that, the film falters. The jokes fall flat, the werewolf costumes look like something from Party City, the corpses are unimpressive, and there aren't any notable kills. But hey, at least there's a Santa orgy...
In conclusion, Werewolf Santa is exactly as bad as you'd expect. I'd score this a 3/10-unless you're in the mood for something intentionally terrible, in which case this might be just what you're looking for.
Homer and Eddie (1989)
Homer & Eddie is an underrated, fun, and unpredictable '80s gem
I recently rewatched Homer and Eddie (1989) on Tubi. The storyline follows a mentally handicapped man who is robbed, left with limited resources, and determined to return home to visit his parents. Along the way, a violent psychopath with her own agenda crosses paths with him and agrees to help. Despite their differences, the two form an unlikely bond as they embark on a cross-country journey.
Directed by Andrei Konchalovsky (Tango & Cash), the film stars Jim Belushi (Red Heat), Whoopi Goldberg (The Color Purple), Anne Ramsey (The Goonies), Karen Black (House of 1,000 Corpses), and John Waters (Seed of Chucky).
This movie always reminds me of Rain Man in many ways-if Tom Cruise's character were a hoodlum with anger issues. The performances by Goldberg and Belushi are truly underrated. Their chemistry, banter, and dynamic energy are the heart of the film, and their dialogue is sharp and engaging. The plot takes unexpected turns, with some clever twists and unpredictable moments. The whorehouse scene, in particular, is hilarious, offering a moment of levity. The ending, while more somber and realistic than anticipated, is very effective and adds depth to the story.
In conclusion, Homer & Eddie is an underrated, fun, and unpredictable '80s gem. I'd score it a 8/10 and recommend watching it at least once.
Tendre Dracula (1974)
Tender Dracula is far from one of Cushing's best, but it's something quite different
I recently watched the French 🇫🇷 horror-comedy Tender Dracula (1974) on the Full Moon app on Prime. The storyline follows a group of horror film stars at the end of their careers, as they attempt to transition into a new direction. The movie studio, unhappy with this change, sends two writers and their girlfriends to the actor's home, hoping to convince him to stick with horror. Upon arrival, they discover the actor has begun blending his real life with his cinematic persona. Can the writers change his mind before it's too late?
Directed by Pierre Grunstein in one of his few directorial projects, the film stars Peter Cushing (Horror of Dracula), Alida Valli (The Third Man), Bernard Menez (Dracula and Son), Miou-Miou (The Science of Sleep), and Julien Guiomar (Carmen).
The storyline is fun, and I enjoyed the concept of Hammer film-like stars facing their twilight years, with the studio trying to squeeze one last horror run out of them. This is a very different role for Peter Cushing, where he essentially parodies himself, donning Party City-level costumes and offering a light-hearted take on "Dracula." The women in the film are gorgeous, and it includes the typical '70s horror nudity. The props and kills are playful, and because the film doesn't take itself too seriously, it reminded me a bit of High Spirits. While the comedic elements are hit-or-miss, the corpse gags are fun, and the way the horror is woven into the comedy is entertaining.
In conclusion, Tender Dracula is far from one of Cushing's best, but it's something quite different. I would score this a 4/10 and recommend it only with the appropriate expectations.