Portal:Society

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
The Society Portal
High-Society-Suspender-and-Stocking-zoom.jpg

Society is an abstract concept that envisions people and culture as a unified entity, thinking and acting in harmony. It represents a collective human aspiration, yet it is constantly mistaken as something already achieved. This illusion diminishes its true value and purpose, leading to its gradual decline.

Society only finds skinny people attractive, but is fat itself. Society doesn't like to stereotype people, except those damn Mexicans with their beans and rice. Society thinks foreigners should learn English before coming to America, but needs to find an English-speaker when it goes on vacation abroad. Society finds prison rape hilarious. Society believes America to be the greatest country on the motherfucking planet! Society preaches that gays should have equal rights... Just not in front of Society. Society knows that anyone who doesn't stand up during the Star-Spangled Banner is obviously a Communist. Society has no gender, yet seems to favor straight white men. But trust us, Society's not biased or hypocritical at all. (See more...)
Featured Folk
Millennialhipsters.jpg

Millennials (formerly christened Generation Y) are the generational cohort born roughly between the birth of AIDS and the Spice Girls (or 9/11 if you go by fatter definitions), who are or aren't the spawn of Baby boomers and older Gen Xers, did or didn't experience the "Nuthin' Nineties", did or didn't survive the Iraq War, do or don't vape, and are forever caught in an emotional quadrangle of economic despair, constant putdowns from their elders, crippling student loan debts, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that they will have to work until the day they drop dead.

Millennials appeared at just the right time to witness the economic and political golden age of the 1990s, but were not quite old enough to enjoy the rave scene – unfortunately, the rug was yanked out from them all too soon, as the excessive abuse of avocado toast and the economy (often simultaneously) presented their bill. Despite being in their 30s and 40s, many still make only minimum wage, reside with their parents, and rarely reproduce...

Selected Image
Trojan horse.png
Despite multiple marketing campaigns, bestiality remains too big of a societal taboo to be marketable. Still, some brands continue to hedge their bets.
Society in the News
Keg.jpg

EDDY'S HOUSE, Next to the White Castle – Eddy and all his friends threw a totally sweet party at his residence Friday night while their loser friends attended Comic Con. Eddy and company purposely scheduled the party so as not to feel awkward leaving them out. Mandy was there, and Steve brought all the liquor. Everyone expressed total relief that Jimmy and all the guys who play D&D were too busy dressing up as Stormtroopers to show up since they always cause all these awkward silences and it really sucks when they get drunk because they're so annoying.

According to sources close to Eddy, Jimmy announced he would attend Comic Con some time in early March this year. Since the announcement, Eddy's compatriots have allegedly been planning the party to end all parties in secrecy, revealing plans only to close friends and guys they knew who were great when they come to these kinds of things. Plans were nearly compromised mid-June when Jimmy's brother Alex saw Steve making a list of people to invite. The immediate cover of a surprise birthday party for a college friend was deployed. The party committee has since operated in top secrecy, ending contact with all non-essential acquaintances.

Did you know
  • ... that you're a burden to society, and your mother never loved you, and your dog looks at you in shame, and...
  • ... that prostitution may be the oldest profession, but passing the buck to someone else is the oldest hobby?
  • ... that necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
Quote of the Day
Further Reading
More Portals
Portals complement topics that nobody cares about and expand upon topics that everybody cares even less about.