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yellowmarlin
Reviews
Borderlands (2024)
A load of claptrap
One of the worst movies that I have sat through the entirety of in many years. Having never played the video game, I make no comment as to how well the movie adaptation translated the characters and story to the big screen. Certainly, it is no longer a given that video game adaptations will flop but this one does. The characters (with one shining exception) are two-dimensional and the talented cast are simply going through the motions, although it sounds like Jack Black might have had more fun making this movie than I had watching it. The single diamond in the rough is Ariana Greenblatt's character Tiny Tina. She is unhinged fun with a cute aesthetic.
Inside Out 2 (2024)
An improvement on the first one.
I didn't enjoy Inside Out when it first came out and I still couldn't warm to it when I rewatched it yesterday. The sequel, however, is a considerable improvement, right from the start. The new emotions are all well conceived (Envy and Embarrassment are particularly good) and add a welcome layer of subtlety and complexity, although Anxiety does tend to dominate. Riley's brainscape is also better developed, with the addition of a belief system, while the story itself is much less of a mess than in the first one. It does a great job of exploring the chaotic soup of teenage emotions and hormonal angst that puberty is.
Madame Web (2024)
An improvement on what came before
Ignore all of the one, two and three star reviews dragging this movie's rating down; it's nowhere near as bad as that. In fact, it's a considerable improvement on Sony's previous offerings Venom (I skipped the sequel) and Morbius. Is it perfect? Of course not. In fact, there are several glaring plot holes and inconsistencies glossed over in order to advance the plot. Is it fun? Yes, it is. Here's what it's got going for it: this is a Spider-Man movie in which the spider man character is the villain, it gives us an origin story/mythology for the power-imbuing arachnid, and the precognitive abilities of Cassie Webb allow for some entertaining action sequences. I look forward to seeing the various Spider-Women again in the future.
Elemental (2023)
A beautiful parable
Elemental is a beautiful and touching love letter to immigrant communities around the world. It touches on the hopes and fears of those who go in search of a better life in a new land, and the heartbreak of leaving loved ones behind, possibly to never see them again. It illustrates the cruel discrimination suffered by immigrant communities everywhere, the wounded bigotry festering as a consequence and the casual racism uttered by even those who are friendly and welcoming. And it focusses on the weight of cultural and familial pressures and expectations heaped on the shoulders of the children of those who came before. Yes, there's also a love story, but that's not what this movie is about.
Troll (2022)
Great fun
Essentially a Norse version of a Godzilla movie, an ancient troll king is awakened by the construction of a railway tunnel and sets off across the modern day Norwegian landscape in order to return to the only home it knows; a cave under the royal palace in Oslo. The authorities enlist the aid of a palaeontologist (for reasons that are never fully clarified) but it is her estranged father who holds the key to saving the day. Likeable, if slightly stick, characters carry the story forwards, and I genuinely like how the writers played it completely straight; nary a hint of tongue in cheek at any stage.
Don't Worry Darling (2022)
Utter shambles
A dreadful mess of a movie. I don't feel like anyone involved in this production ever had a firm handle on what story they were actually trying to tell. This is a shame, because the location, sets and costumes were all excellent, and the first half of the movie seems to be building rather well. The acting too, deserves a better movie. Florence Pugh is, as always, outstanding, as is the underused Gemma Chan. Olivia Wilde and Chris Pine both put in solid performances, but subtly menacing undertones. Harry Styles, sadly, finds himself to be hopelessly out of his depth but can at least console himself with the thought that he certainly does better than Shia Laboeuf would have.
The Ghost Writer (2010)
Turgid
I watched this movie just a few hours after finishing the original novel. I probably wouldn't have if the book hadn't been one of those 'now a major motion picture' versions with Pierce Brosnan and Ewan McGregor on the cover. The initial premise of the story is that the unnamed titular protagonist is hired to create a publishable book out of a dry, factual manuscript. Ironically, what this film needed was a scriptwriter to turn the novel into a screenplay. The movie is slavishly loyal to the book for almost 90 minutes and what worked on the page doesn't work on the screen. It's dull, wooden and turgid. The final act is a frenetic mess as the filmmakers attempt to wrap things up quickly with a more cinematic conclusion. It didn't work either.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Not perfect but a lot of fun
Written 36 hours after seeing the movie. Firstly, the criticisms: some of the actors feel like they're not really giving it their all. In the early stages of the movie, Isabella Sermon and, shockingly, Sam Neill are particularly underwhelming. Secondly, the ill-conceived notion of a romantic relationship between Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler is a complete disaster. There is no sexual chemistry between the characters and trying to fabricate it is probably the cause of Neill's awkward and stilted performance. Finally, and this is a strange complaint; there are too many dinosaurs in this movie. Almost every action sequence has a different creature feature and they start to blur. I'd start by cutting the pyroraptor, the dimetrodons and the therazinosaurus and see how that looks. The baby ceratopsian puppets are rubbery and unconvincing.
The plus points: this movie is a lot of fun and the Maltese scenes in particular are excellent. Every single character has a well planned conclusion to his or her arc, especially Henry Wu's redemption. There are multiple small references to previous movies and they're all really entertaining. I'm sure I'll pick up on a few more when I see it again.
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
Astonishingly Good
I'm flabbergasted. I watched this movie out of sheer curiosity, and with pretty serious misgivings. After all, the last Nicolas Cage movie that I saw was the appallingly bad Prisoners of the Ghostland (I watched it for Sofia Boutella). Imagine my delight when I realised that this was Cage's best performance in many years. He shows admirable restraint in his portrayal of Nick, a fictionalised version of himself, and, for the most part, settles for channeling his excesses into Nicky, his imaginary 'movie star' alter-ego. His bromance with Javi is beautifully realised, and Pedro Pascal is wonderful as a starstruck fanboy. Special mention goes to Sharon Horgan who is superb as Nick's ex-wife Olivia (of course she is; Sharon Horgan is always superb) and to relative newcomer Lily Sheen as their daughter Addy who manages to convey a teenage girl's embarrassment with her father without ever seeming bratty.
Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)
Abysmal
This movie has no redeeming features. Not even the ethereal Sofia Boutella can elevate it above the confused melange of bizarre, meaningless imagery that it is. What little story there is could be summed up in a single sentence. The real low point is Nicolas Cage screaming about his testicle.
Morbius (2022)
An origin story - no more, no less
This movie exists for one purpose, and one purpose only: to establish the character of Morbius in Sony's MCU-adjacent Spiderverse. It does this successfully although, apart from a throwaway reference to San Francisco (Venom) early on, most of the heavy lifting is done after the end credits roll in a couple of slightly odd scenes featuring Michael Keaton's Vulture from Spider-Man: Homecoming. The movie itself is a by-the-book origin story which was entertaining in parts but will not live long in the memory.
Settlers (2021)
Excellent and underappreciated
Settlers is a slow-paced sci-fi drama set entirely within the confines of a desolate Martian homestead. We are introduced to the locale through the eyes of a young girl called Remy, performed in a star turn by Brooklynn Prince, who lives there with her parents. There is no time wasted on world building, scene setting or extrapolation; bits and pieces of back story are scattered throughout the movies. It is left to the viewer to fill in the blanks. I noticed a few of the other reviews complaining about this; maybe give this movie a miss if you need to be spoonfed. Likewise the pacing; it isn't so much slow as unrushed, with sporadic bursts of drama, action and violence.
Remy, it transpires, was born on Mars. She knows Earth only as the brightest light in the night sky and through her parents' tales. She also knows nothing of Mars beyond the atmospheric dome surrounding her homestead, and the viewers share in her ignorance. We learn what she learns, and it's precious little. The biggest mystery is her fate at the end.
Ismael Cruz Cordova is solid as the antagonist Jerry, who is the hero of his own story, and Sofia Boutella is superb as Remy's mother Ilsa.
The Black Cauldron (1985)
Dire
I gave up before the halfway point. This film has nothing to recommend it; the story, the animation and the voice acting are all dire. Best avoided at all costs.
Licorice Pizza (2021)
An underwhelming mess
Unlikeable characters, a chaotic plot, pointless cameos and repetitive running scenes add up to a frenetic yet tedious movie that I really wish had lasted at least 30 minutes less.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Thank goodness for NPH
The Matrix Resurrections fell into precisely the same trap as Star Wars: The Force Awakens - it introduced a bunch of new & relatively interesting characters, but in order to balance the new with the familiar it rehashed the plot of the original trilogy, cobbling a bunch of iconic scenes together into a messy & unimaginative soup. With added Jyn Erso character for an extra Rogue One parallel. Fortunately, the villain is far better realised here than Kylo Ren ever was. In fact, the fifth star is solely down to Neil Patrick Harris' performance as the Analyst; he was easily the best thing about this movie.
The Power of the Dog (2021)
Desperately tedious
Good performances from a top notch cast, particularly Benedict Cumberbatch, and a creepy twist at the end, but this movie is just awfully dull throughout. Very disappointing, sadly.
Around the World in 80 Days (2021)
Rather enjoyable
Writing this while watching the third episode. It's rather enjoyable so far, plenty of drama and adventure. Obviously, the 21st Century updates will trigger the unevolved who shriek of misandry and wokeness; that just works in its favour.
The Lost Daughter (2021)
Terribly, terribly dreary
Olivia Colman and Jessie Buckley are two of the most incredible British actresses around at the moment, but even they are powerless to prevent this tedious and turgid film from going nowhere and doing nothing.
Spencer (2021)
One-sided and heavy-handed
I'm a big fan of Kristen Stewart's acting ability and I was hoping for a character-driven movie that would showcase her talents. Sadly, this is an overblown melodrama in which almost nothing of any great consequence happens. The Royal Family are reduced to cardboard cutouts sitting meekly at the dining table, terrified into silence by the mere presence of their malevolent matriarch. I've never seen a more unflattering portrayal of the Queen. Charles is a weak-willed bully. Diana is a caricature; every simpering head tilt and demurely downcast expression hammered into place with the same lack of subtlety with which the intrusive score demands you empathise with every emotional beat. Timothy Spall and Sally Hawkins are always watchable, but I was glad when this was over.
Only Murders in the Building: To Protect and Serve (2021)
Getting better and better.
I love this show and I love these characters. I laughed a lot and the twists just keep on coming.
Only Murders in the Building (2021)
It shouldn't work but it does.
We all know that Steve Martin and Martin Short can combine to produce comedy gold, but who could have predicted that Steve Martin and Selena Gomez would have such incredible chemistry? Add in the wonderful Nathan Lane and now Sting (!) and after just 3 episodes I am completely hooked.
Our Ladies (2019)
Hugely entertaining
Chock full of cliches, but no worse for that, this coming of age movie follows five friends from Fort William over 24 hours as they venture to Edinburgh for a school choir competition and back home again. A few secrets are told, a few lessons are learned and a lot of laughs are had.
Troy (2004)
Mediocre
Another big budget sword-and-sandal epic in the same vein as Gladiator, but not quite to the same standards. It also plays fast and loose with the established mythology, for no apparent reason. The acting is disappointing.
Way Down (2021)
Entertaining
A fun concept (think National Treasure meets Ocean's Eleven) and reasonably well executed. The main weakness is the acting. Only Liam Cunningham, doing his best Liam Neeson impression, puts in a decent performance. Freddie Highmore is particularly poor.
Reminiscence (2021)
Decent post-modern noir
The best way to describe this film is as a merging of two of Christopher Nolan's best movies: Memento and Inception. Sadly, it's not as good as either of these two. Much like another Nolan movie, Tenet, it's got an excellent concept but it fails in its delivery. There's still a lot to like though.