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Reviews
Morgan (2016)
Ex Machina was better
I thought Morgan looked good and I've seen/ heard nothing since it came out, so I sat and watched.....what a disappointment. Can't fault anything, cast did their best with a poorly written story and THATS my criticism, the ridiculous story.
Scientists create....life? A robot? Both?
They grow attached to it, over the 5 years since creation but it attacks one of them and stabs her eye. They get a psyche evaluation for the robot but this moron (Paul Giamatti) takes no precautions and just treats this creation as if it were human....not as if it were a computer that is learning. He tells it to be itself and then proceeds to poke the bear, getting it to have all kinds of emotions that it doesn't understand but he keeps on pushing, until it does what he asked and shows him how it felt, by biting his throat out!? Genius! Guys a psychiatrist but has zero common sense.
They then proceed to give the robot a lethal injection but some of the brain dead scientists put feels first and release the psycho killer robot, which then kills them one by one....bravo guys 👏
Absolutely stupid movie, just annoys you rather than shocks you....made it an infuriating and frustrating watch.
The movie only works if you take your brain out and suspend your disbelief in science/ logic and common sense. Ex Machina did it much better by protagonist being manipulated/ seduced.
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)
Minimal effort writing
Absolutely the most minimal effort writing goes into this series of Godzilla/ Monarch movies. The story is poor and the human part of that story is so incredibly woeful and moronic.....with typical stereotypes of dutiful daughter of "bad guy" going on a mission for dad under the premise of for good intention but only to gain an article of power for evil....so once there switches to dad's plan but it backfires 😲
The moron brainwashed kid from previous movie, that helped bring death and destruction to the world, now lectures this movies "bad guy" that he's doing wrong....you have got to be kidding me!!
An to top it off....the kids save the day and Godzilla & Kong struggle fighting a man made metal robot without there help....so dumb and terribly written, so glad I did not pay to watch this junk in a movie theatre.
Millie Bobby Brown's character should have died in the last film....that character is THE most annoying thing in the entire movie....her self righteous know it all, treat everyone like crap attitude made me want to punch her in the face and throw her to one of the alphas myself...its like she forgot all the stuff she did in the last movie an she's really a Saint...kill her already, no tears only joy, just like there wasn't anything but cheers of "YEAH" when her mum "sacrificed" herself....she had to go and nobody cared, as she'd brought it on herself and knew she'd be on death row anyway for her crimes.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Dumb writing and plot....take out your brain before watching.
Most reviews of this movie are right, the human aspect of this movie, are sooo incredibly dumb....they do dumb things for dumb reasons.
Monsters look great but the writing of this movie is absolutely terrible.....woman thinks she's Thanos and decides its her right to "save the world" by releasing death upon the world...
Basically an emotional woman wreaking havoc but is supposed to be some kind of saviour....an a brainwashed daughter in tow.
Loved Charles Dance, O'Shea Jackson, Ken Watanabe and CCH Pounder.... Kyle Chambers has a few quality lines but the rest of the cast are pretty forgettable and couldn't care less if they got stomped out.
2/10 for plot/ script - 9/10 for the monsters
Watchable for the monster action but infuriating due to human aspect...and writing.
The Beekeeper (2024)
Don't waste your time
Story...scam call centres being taken down by a guy whose friend was duped. These scammers, the government has been looking for to shut them down....but the government is protecting these scammers????
FBI agents are completely dumb....one is told her mums home is on fire, after her mum has already committed suicide due to being scammed. She was in such a hurry to get to her mums home, she stopped for coffee...
The replacement beekeeper attacks Statham....at a petrol station....with an LMG....then a mini gun attached to her truck!??? He beats her down without a shot and sets her dumbass ablaze. She's SUPPOSED to be his replacement but he dealt with her quicker than most the other minor grunts.
I like a good emptyhead movie now and again but this type of movie just creates a rage inside, due to how braindead ALL the characters are and how stupid the writing is.
This is how they ruined Fallout too.... Great concept but poor execution.
Not even a fun time waster....go watch something else.
Argylle (2024)
Comedy? No Dumpster fire? Yes
Starts off ridiculous but as a somewhat fun ride....that soon turns to boring tired clichés and predictability.
If you're looking for an action film to watch with your chick flick loving partner....then this is your movie... It's basically a chick flick with handsome bad boys and very very little blood. It's over the top but not in a fun way...unless you lack parts of your brain.
Sam Rockwell is great and always entertains, Henry Cavill is under utilised, as too is Samuel L Jackson. Brian Cranston plays a believable role and I enjoyed his performance but the whole movie was badly written and is on for far far far too long....over 2hours for this garbage?
Sleeping Dogs (2024)
Predictable
Predictable with nothing new or interesting.
It's worth a watch if you enjoy Russell Crowes performances, which i do. Russell is great in the role and the movie is ok but nothing exceptional.
It's a kin to Memento with Guy Pearce and is enjoyable and intriguing enough to watch a couple hours go by....but it's outcome is predictable and the title doesn't help to obfuscate this either.
A good debut for the director etc and watchable but nothing special, It's a one time watch for me.
It's a bit like Damaged with Samuel L Jackson...bland with little thought needed to find the person who done it.
Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)
Struggle sleeping? Then this is perfect for you
Who framed Roger Rabbit, cartoon live action did this far far far better....this is like if they were testing to make Roger Rabbit. Even LeBron James Space Jam was better and that was like watching a real life Pinocchio trying to convince us he's a real boy but he was just a plank of wood along.
Not one good thing to say about this absolute steaming pile of hot garbage.
Stamps all over the quality cartoon you remember as a kid and the "jokes" are so bad....like Monterey Jack owing money to a gang for buying cheese.
My 8 and 12 year old niece and nephew thought it was boring and we left after 20 mins. They much prefered Sonic 1&2, me too.
Mortal Kombat: Rebirth (2010)
Needs to be a movie!
This 8 min vid, should be a trailer for an epic Mortal Kombat movie!
This is such a good take on Mortal Kombat and is much darker than the recent MK movie (which i loved)...and reminds me of the Christopher Nolan Batman movies, no comic book looking cinematography.....just something more real/ gritty.
This short NEEDS to become a full movie!
Red Notice (2021)
Predictable and no brain required to watch
Predictable heist movie...
Ryan Reynolds is the only redeeming feature...he's his usual comedic self (nothing new but gives an otherwise bore fest, some humour).
The Rock is....the Rock, he plays himself very well but don't expect anything that you haven't already seen in his other movies.
Gal Gadot has a good part but just doesn't come across as a serious thief...more a spoof version of a thief.
Overall it passed a couple hours but it was boring in my opinion and only watched to the end as family were watching also and I was hoping it'd get better.....it didn't.
Very forgettable and a one time watch, for me.
Army of the Dead (2021)
If youtube influencer's made a zombie movie
Predictable, boring and cliché.
Nothing new, except for the huge amount of plot holes and nonsense.
Zombie with a homemade Bulletproof face mask and an untrained girl with a gun out surviving trained mercenaries.
You're not missing anything and could save your time an watch something else.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (2021)
Stupidly dull movie
I quite enjoyed the previous movies, even given how unpopular they are but this movie is so completely dumb.
Stupid plot with stupid characters, magical rocks and giant emo snakes that won't kill you if you're "pure of heart"....so bad it's funny. You get no sympath or sense of heroism with Snake eyes and instead see him as dumb and gullible. You feel more for Storm Shadow and how how he was betrayed by am imbecile.
Guy Ritchie version with cockneys an a geordie Snake eyes would have been better and more entertaining.
Save yourself the time and watch something else....you'll only wish you had when you're 1hr in.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Could have been so much better
Good effects an not a bad film completely, just a bit boring and predictable.
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Absolute steaming pile of hot garbage
Save your cash....and sanity, watch the original Space Jam as that has everything you're expecting from New Legacy.....like a believable plot and comedy.
New Legacy has no redeeming features, it's absolutely terrible and a clear cash grab for WB and ego stroke for LeBron. Lame plot lame acting....zero laughs from anybody for the whole 2hrs.
I don't know LeBron and I feel this movie has made a lot of people not want to meet him either....comes across as a dim wit that has no sense of humour and is ignorant of his kids and their ideas/ dreams/ aspirations/ hobbies.....you know, because he's soooo busy working long hours at the factor.....Oh wait, he just plays basketball for millions of dollars.....Yeah he's a bad father. Didn't like LeBron with his political blm nonsense but he's actually smashed it out the park with reasons to dislike him.
LeBron would be my first choice for a live action Pinocchio, as his "acting" was incredibly wooden.... king James 😂 talk about ego....they could have used a mop instead of LeBron and it would have been just as believable.
Feel sorry for Don Cheadle having this smearing his career, as he's generally a good actor in good movies.
I'd rather pull out every hair on my body with tweezers, than to watch this painfully dull movie again. 1 star for Don Cheadle and the effects team.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)
Racially divisive and political.....not fun
I was expecting to enjoy this as much as other Marvel movies etc but how wrong I was.
The actors are good the effects are good but we're told to hate the white man and see the oppression of the black man.....You'd think it was set 100+ years ago, not 2021.
I couldn't care any less about skin colour but Disney being so woke, they're forcing it on us and expecting us to like it. Shame they've done that as they have ruined it and I for one won't watch anymore.
2 stars for acting and effects...particularly liked Zemo/ Falcon and Winter Soldier.... Thought the new Cap looked wrong from the start with his ears sticking out the helmet and jawline....he reminded me of Homelander from The Boys.
High-Rise (2015)
Post apocalyptic tower block.......
The opener with Reece Shearsmith was brilliantly funny and is worth the two stars....the rest of the movie is a descent into madness, both for movie and viewer.
Leave your brain outside, as you have to maintain a belief that the people in this high rise are the some of the few people left in the world after an unknown or apocalyptic event....as things get so dire but nobody thinks to get help or go move somewhere else.
A tower blocks residents (that go to work outside the building) have a class system and there is an uprising from the lower class.....then it descends into madness of eating pets/ killing each other and rape.....all while this goes on, only 1 police officer attends and walks away without intervention.
This type of movie has been done much better by movies like Snow piercer, which in my opinion was a great movie but High rise is absolute garbage.
Legends of Tomorrow (2016)
From good to bad to WTH!
This show started well but has spiralled out of control and is now in it's death throws...
"You should never go full retard".....somebody should have said that movie quote to the writers of this steaming pile of excrement.
Huge plot holes....supposed to be keeping time line correct but show off future tech whilst in the past..... and having a "documentary" type episode was so so dire and cringe worthy.
It's like they can't decide who their viewing audience is......there is too much sex/ blood etc for kids but also the stories are really too stupid for adults.....so I'm guessing the viewing audience they are hoping for are just sat in a vegatative state and unthinking.
The Current War (2017)
Why bother!? Totally inaccurate portrayal of events
Why bother to make a film about historic events from the past, if it's only going to be BASED on them and not at all accurate!?
Don't waste your time with this terrible film that hoists up and lords Edison around like some great hearted person only wanting the best for humanity and not at all interested in financial gain......because it's quite the opposite.
Edison had a team of people including Nikola Tesla, to create inventions that he then stuck his name to....he used various existing patents for his team to develop the light bulb.....the film suggests he created and owned all rights and could therefore sue under copyright....
Edison was a money man and Tesla wanted a better world for us all and no interest in financial gains.....unlike the greedy lying Edison.
This film is such utter garbage that I quit on it after 40 minutes. If you know anything of Edison/ Tesla and the events surrounding them, then save your time and money and go watch paint dry.....it'd be more interesting and fulfilling than being lied to for 2 hours straight.
Could be wrong but I'm sure I saw Edison (Cumberbatch) use a tattoo pen.....in reality he created the electric pen that was a huge flop, it was only when an Irish sailor saw it in a pawn shop that the sailor had the idea for converting it into a tattoo pen.
Benedict Cumberbatch is in my opinion, a poor actor and this film goes toward backing that opinion. Just wish Michael Shannon would have give this pile of steaming garbage a miss, he was very good in The Iceman/ Man of Steel/ Midnight Special etc.....then he does this crud!?
If I could review but give zero stars I would.
Don't waste your time as it's not historically accurate and it's far from entertaining.
Erased (2012)
Could have been great
I like Aaron Eckhart and thought he played a great part but unfortunately the decision was made to give his character THE most annoying daughter in the universe....she ruined what could have been a great movie, with her child like behaviour. She is supposed to be 17-18 but acts like her mental age is 5.
I really enjoy these types of movies but found it completely unbearable to watch, due to the daughter character.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Braindead garbage, like Transporter
The first movie was fantastic. The second was over the top....even for this trilogy.
The third....lmao, it's just awful...
Halle Berry throwing people around like she's Wonder woman, it just looks like the guys are helping her to kill themselves....throwing themselves around to make her look good lol.
Keanu is on point as usual, just a shame the movie is awful.
Brutally kill a guy in a train station and nobody noticed!!?? Huh?
Riding a horse with no gun, guys on bikes with guns but don't shoot, instead try to drag him off!?
Motorbike chase with swords!?
Braindead movie, I feel that they didn't even try with this and just thought "what's the point, it'll do well cos it's John Wick".
Just reminds me of Transporter with Jason Statham (hollow with little to no story)...run out of bullets?...no problem so have your enemies.
John Wick was epic but has been sliding down since.
Avengers: Infinity War (2018)
Inconsistent and dumb
Spoiler: They have Thanos and are removing his glove....Quill in his infinite wisdom, punches Thanos out of frustration that he killed Gomora.....
Lol for real!? Why on Earth would ANYBODY risk the lives of half the universe, just so you feel better......he didn't do anything to bring her back or get revenge, he basically slapped Thanos' cheek....since Thanos had 4 Infinity stones and Thanos also remarks to Stark "all that, for a drop of blood."
The characters are inconsistent, for the most part... seems that their "power" is amped up or dropped, depending on what the particular scene requires....Red Witch/ Thor/ Vision etc etc. Also Thor is told he IS the God of thunder and does not require the hammer but goes to great lengths to obtain a new weapon....!!?? Wait.....what now!?
This movie is dumb, brain dead and a pile of hot steaming garbage.
I enjoy these types of movies but this seems the norm now....Black Panther was garbage too... he doesn't deserve to be the Black Panther! He got beat...TWICE...and cheated to "win".
The Flash (2014)
Tedious, predictable, terrible acting, annoying characters
I've watched this show from day one and really enjoyed it. Problem is, it got predictable very quickly. The cross over episodes are terrible. Characters such as Iris...a waitress turned super reporter/ head of Star Labs (who pays for Star Labs upkeep and tech? Barry rob banks when we're not watching lol) and her woeful acting and dialogue....Nora again terrible actress and behaves like a petulant 5 year old....not a 20-30 year old woman!
I watched upto "GodSpeed" but just could not handle the childish behaviour of Nora & Friend and as for her being a CSI.....she has an armband that does the work, she just reads what it says so why is she considered a CSI.
Seems this show is too brutal for children and absolute poorly acted garbage for teens/ adults....shame, it started quite well.
The OA (2016)
10🌟 just does not seem enough!
Recently found The OA and I'm glad I did, it's an incredible story and extremely well acted...not 1 thing I can think of that I dislike or would change. After watching the first episode, I was hooked, so i binged watched every episode but now I have nothing...until it returns with season 3.
I've watched both seasons and now feel my thirst for more, may not be quenched for years to come....
I truly hope they make more very soon, it's a great show with phenomenal acting that you can easily buy into all the characters and such a complexity and mystery to the story....I love it.
My one gripe is that there is no more, until they release a season 3......and 4,5,6&7.
Rainbow Man (2014)
!? Anything for cash I guess..
Amazed at how garbage like this gets past the idea stage.....wouldn't even call it a movie, it's more an ego massage for the "actors".
Arrow: Collision Course (2018)
Loser Squad...icing on the ridiculous cake
I find it completely hilarious that team Arrow feels they owe some kind of apology for the losers invited to join THEM.....for team Arrow started it all, they have the tech/ money/ contacts, they have EVERYTHING necessary...whilst the loser squad has nothing but a chip on its shoulder because team Arrow rightly lost trust in them because one of them was about to out Oliver as the Arrow!!
Loser Squad left team Arrow of their own volition and are very lucky they were allowed to keep the suits/ tech made for them....without her's, what exactly would Black Canary be!? A cop......no scream tech.
Loser squad harms Diggle so they can track team Arrow...they use no hold barred force against them and say they want to find Black Siren to find the money and kill her.....but team Arrow have already found her and were in process of obtaining the money.....only for loser squad to arrive under Dinah's pretence of obtaining the cities money.....the two fools following her, believe that garbage.....over Oliver looking for a mole within HIS organisation....no they just want to moan how they weren't equals and not trusted....but it turned out to be for good reason....whilst Black Canary has ulterior motives.
The Arrow started so so strong but over time it had started to scrap the bottom of the barrel for new ideas.
The Loser Squad NEEDS to be killed off, as the childish holier than thou attitude they have is making the ridiculous, unbelievably more so.
I for one will stop watching if Loser Squad isn't removed from this debacle.
Stories are already far fetched and suspension of disbelief necessary (mayor dealing with all this terrorism and no mention of armed forces/ Argus troops naive, poorly trained/ Argus facility not security concious...all team Arrow infiltrate with Felicity in a wheelie bin/ fight scenes ridiculous, loads of jumping etc....one min they can't beat a local hood, next they're taking out highly trained operatives. The list goes on....) but these loser squad hypocrites are icing on the cake.
Parallels (2015)
Terrible,not even finished! AVOID AT ALL COSTS
AVOID AVOID AVOID keep your sanity, as the "ending" will annoy you.
Not even worthy of 1 star because of how they chose to leave it, but you have to rate it to review it.
I love mystery films but this takes the cake. It had great potential, cool story with plenty of ways to take it but instead it falls flat, due to a poor "ending"....if that's what you call it.
The ONLY way to redeem this "movie" is to either remake it/ make a part 2 to finish it properly or use the same cast and continue in tv series format.
If non of that is done, then it's rather pointless and torturous for the viewer, as in total, it leaves more questions than it answers.
Triangle/ Coherence/ Synchronicity/ ARQ are far far far better movies.