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The Assistant (2023)
Comically bad
This movie was a ride! I enjoyed it in all of its ridiculousness. Do not be mistaken though, this is hardly a thriller-- or a mystery. The twists, turns, and offensive/dated tropes are all completely predictable. No real surprises here. Just a low budget Tubi movie. If you enjoy those, then you'll enjoy this. Bad acting, horrible writing, use of the same props in different scenes, everyone addressing the star of the movie as "Ms.", despite the fact that she is a doctor. Seriously, why was no one addressing her as a doctor? The age difference between the two stars was apparently supposed to be a pretty big gap, though they are clearly close in age.
The Bling Ring (2022)
Not worth watching
I watched this because it popped up on Netflix. I vaguely remember some celebrities having their homes broken into, but I don't remember hearing much of anything about those who committed the break-ins/burglaries. I never heard of "The Bling Ring", whether it be the ragtag bunch of criminals we learn about in this docuseries-- or the subsequent movie named after them.
What we see here is a poorly directed and edited series, that is reminiscent of the days of E! Whether or not this production was meaning to pay homage to that era of pop culture or not, is not known to me. The he-said, she-said scenes are so cringy and uncomfortable-- they really play things up for the camera.
Hard to take the criminals in this series at all seriously. They are each given their moment to reflect on their prior decisions, and speak on how they feel about their actions today, looking back. Given that both Alexis and Nick decided to be part of this series where they speak openly (and sometimes not so openly) about their part in FELONIES committed, shows that they haven't come very far very-- they are still seeking that fame.
We get to meet Alexis' mom Andrea, who is an absolute TRIP. I have never heard someone make so many "me" statements. The way she tries to present herself would make you think that she isn't being interviewed about crimes her daughter committed.
The producers of Alexis' ill-fated reality show are in this... for some reason? Their commentary is gross, and listening to them makes me glad that toxic reality tv isn't as prevalent as it was in the 00's.
Overall, I wouldn't recommend watching this. It comes across as unapologetic and superficial.
A Husband, a Wife and a Lover (1996)
Not bad
Hokey, hard to believe, and downright laughable at times but I found myself enjoying it. Judith Light is an underrated treasure of our time. She does an amazing job (as usual). I'll watch anything with her. This story did not go the direction I expected, which was somewhat a pleasant surprise.
Some scenes felt very repetitive and unnecessary, while it would have been nice to see other elements added. Disappointing to include some characters early on in the movie, then just have them drop off with only a mere suggestion of why. Still, I'd recommend.
Betrayed by Innocence (1986)
I know times were different...
But this movie really doled out heapings of ICK. I do feel the actors did well, and the 80s California scenery was nice to see.
However the interactions towards the end of the movie between Nick and Mike were just too wildly unrealistic and uncomfortable to watch.
The Deadly Look of Love (2000)
One of the better made-for-tv films
It's not a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but it was enjoyable. I didn't find it to be overly predictable, and towards the third act, I wondered which way things would go. Sure, some aspects were exaggerated, like the courtroom theatrics-- but Holland Taylor brought a great performance into this lower-budget film. The main actress did a pretty good job as well.
She Says She's Innocent (1991)
A star for Sagal and a star for not being entirely predictable
The main girl in this could not be more unlikable. She was written to be so awful! Sagal's character was also frustrating, making so many poor decisions, it was hard to watch.
I didn't pay complete attention to this movie, so I was pleasantly surprised when I saw it seeming to turn in another direction. However, the direction it leaned into quickly became very predictable.
Not worth watching.
Face of Evil (1996)
Tracy Gold can't act
Couldn't finish this one. I made it through about half but... its just too cringy. The writing is also quite terrible. The college-aged women were written so completely out of touch.
Bloodknot (1995)
Such an awful movie!
Hard to believe Patrick Dempsey took this role! This movie has almost no redeeming qualities. Worst part of the movie would be Mike or Connie. Their scenes together make the movie difficult to watch. The actress who played Connie... oof. Horrible!
I'll say I didn't see that ending coming, and don't quite understand what Connie's plan actually was. It got very messy and didn't make much sense. Anyway, no good!
Kept Woman (2015)
Nothing redeeming here
The writing and acting both were bad. We don't really know much about the main couple, beyond that they are a basic, generic couple, ready to flee their home for greener pastures after one horribly acted/executed robbery scene. Our leading lady fancies herself an online crime-solving sleuth. While we see that she is conventionally attractive, as is her fiancé-- her online crime-solving buddy is portrayed as a full-blown stereotype
of an overweight nerd who lives at his computer desk.
While we can forgive the leading lady, as she is in a delicate situation-- watching her fiance navigate his way through his situation was downright obnoxious.
We didn't really hear too much about motivations here, which is unfortunate.
Overall this movie is in no way deserving of a 6!
Where the Truth Lies (2005)
The first few minutes roped me in, but within a half hour, I lost interest
I was interested to see Bacon and Firth act together. The movie looked intriguing enough. Unfortunately, the dialogue and narration all stink. This movie comes across as trying way too hard.
I'm not sure who Alison Lohman is, or how she landed this role-- but there were so many better options for the Karen role. Lohman's acting is not convincing at all, and pulled me out of the story.
I decided to just read the movie summary online instead of finishing the film, and I'm glad I did.
Hush (1998)
It was ok
Good acting and story but pretty predictable leading up to the third act. Fairly decent thriller but nothing groundbreaking or new. I'd recommend if you're looking for something suspenseful.
The Resident (2011)
Slow
I really like the actors in this movie and they gave good performances, but the pacing is so slow and the events that the main character is oblivious to get to be far-fetched.
It could have been much better. I feel like we didn't really get to know the characters, their motivation, relationships etc.-- instead just the same slow scenes over and over.
Don't Look Down (1998)
It's too predictable
I like Wes Craven films and I appreciate that this one is a bit different from his others, but unfortunately it is painfully predictable and frustrating to see that no one applies any logic to any of the circumstances.
Rent-a-Pal (2020)
Great start with an interesting premise
I loved the concept but it was too obvious where things were going to go. I lost interest part way through. I did finish it but wouldn't watch it again. Pretty good acting.
The Wrong Car (2016)
Decent for Lifetime
Probably a four star movie, but I gave it five because it exceeds the expectations I would have for a Lifetime movie.
The acting was decent all around. No Oscar performances but better quality than most other made-for-tv movies.
The general premise isn't so bad, especially considering it came out in 2016. Unfortunately the movie makes up a lot of nonsense, such as Net Drivers not being informed of a customer's destination until they are in the car (the movie pretty much falls apart if this nonsense didn't exist).
More nonsense involves the ridiculous rules regarding warrants that this movie made up.
I do give this movie credit for it's ending.
I wish the baby mask had been explained.
Dead Man's Curve (1998)
Enjoyable but predictable
Pretty decent premise but poor execution in many ways. The benefit of ONE semester of A's is hardly enough to stake the whole story/elaborate plan on. Instead of telling a solid story, this movie gets caught up patting itself on the back, thinking it's just that clever. Clever is when a movie shows you everything but you still don't see whats right in your face. This movie shows you everything, as well as unnecessary filler that only exists to throw off the viewer. The use of flashbacks to explain things that can easily be figured out is insulting to viewers and really dumbs things down. It takes away from the movie.
I somehow missed this movie in the 90s, and just came across it. I would have loved it when I was young, as its in the same vein as Scream and Urban Legend-- though not a slasher. I was able to enjoy it but it was quite predictable.
Matthew Lillard was amazing. He always seems like such a genuine guy in interviews, and I can clearly see he showed up for this movie, and brought all of his energy to his performance.
As with many other late 90s movies, some parts aged horribly and were super uncomfortable.
Bad Influence (2022)
The acting was bad, the writing was worse.
A dumb premise. No real explanation for the main character's behavior. The third act really comes off the rails in the most ridiculous of ways. Wouldn't recommend.
The Great Mom Swap (1995)
One of those 90s classics
One of those movies you probably saw at least once or twice on tv if you grew up in the 90s. It's not a masterpiece but it has its charm and is worth a watch.
Perfect (1985)
I'll add a sixth star for Jamie Lee's rockin mullet!
An odd movie to be sure! I must say, I love Jamie Lee Curtis. She's a rockstar. That being said, this movie is bizarre as all get-out.
The pacing is very, very slow. The movie could have cut out 20 minutes easily. There seemed to be so much unnecessary fluff, but I feel it added some charm to the movie. I enjoyed the sights of the movie. I love when a movie gives you a chance to peer into a past era, and this movie did capture the 80s aerobics phenomenon very well.
John Tavolta feels so out of place in this movie. Maybe someone thought he could make cinematic gold highlighting aerobics, as he did disco.. but alas, it did not work.
While I did enjoy this, and it's got some unintentionally hilarious scenes, the story is lacking and John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis have ZERO chemistry.
The Neighbor (2017)
Very slow
I didn't finish it as I came across a major spoiler while watching. My mistake. Fichtner does a good job at playing the role of offbeat characters, and this is no exception.
The movie seems to be full of awkward silences, situations, and conversations, all due to Fichtner's character (Mike).
Mike is getting older and his life & marriage are both pretty mundane. He works from home and enjoys gardening. He finds himself captivated by, or even obsessed with the drama that takes place next door.
The movie is slow-paced. I made it almost an hour in, and can say in that time that very little occurs. The character of Mike is way too awkward. It was overdone in my opinion.
The constant mention of age drove me crazy because as it's mentioned many times, Mike and his wife Lisa (Jean Louisa Kelly) are playing the boring old married couple, while Scott (Michael Rosenbaum) and Jenna (Jessica McNamee) are playing the young newlyweds.
My issue with this is that Michael Rosenbaum and Jean Louisa Kelly are the same age! Again, I didn't think much of it at first-- but age is mentioned at least three or four times in the first hour.
I guess it's just annoying that in Hollywood, it is still standard for a movie couple to be 15-20 years apart, with the woman always being the younger of the two. In cases when this situation is reversed and the man is younger, it's usually because it's the whole plot to the movie.
Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (1990)
Decent movie
Not Winona Ryder's best performance, or even top five... but it was a decent movie. There are definitely some uncomfortable moments that you wouldn't see in movies today, but overall I enjoyed it. It's a bit of an optimistic film, in that it takes sad situations and splashes some unrealistic sunshine on them.
Not super compelling but a good watch if you're in the mood for an 80s/90s drama that includes teen issues as well as adult and marital issues.
The Melissa Etheridge songs throughout were the weakest part for me. I like Melissa Etheridge but her music didn't feel like it fit the movie at all.
Rich & Shameless (2022)
Bad
I tried watching the first episode but I found it to be very boring. If you are familiar with Pam and Tommy's story, then there isn't much more to learn about it from this episode (though I only made it about twenty minutes in, so I can't say that definitively).
I was very interested in the Girls Gone Wild episode. I am old enough to remember the constant late-night commercials for the DVDs, but not informed at all on the whole saga regarding the founder of GGW (Joe Francis).
I usually look back to the 90s and aughts fondly, but this episode was an in-your-face reminder of how young women were treated and looked at in pop-culture at the time. And it was gross. Seeing clips of Joe Francis being praised by "journalists" of that time, for his genius idea of exploiting young women in exchange for tacky merch made me feel physically sick.
Of course I shouldn't give this series one star simply because Jenny Jones complimented Joe Francis twenty years ago, so I'll speak more about the actual show.
The intro song is horribly cringy. Re-enactment scenes are done with barbie dolls. Seriously. Barbie dolls. Why not just use press photos? Brooke Burke has emerged from the cocoon she has been living in since 2002 to remind us how "WILDLY POPULAR" -HER- tv show was back then. While I do recall Wild On with Brooke Burke airing often on E! In the age before the Kardashians, I don't remember knowing anyone that actually watched it.
Why is Brooke Burke being interviewed about the founder of Girls Gone Wild? Because she met Joe Francis a couple times while filming her wildly popular show? She didn't seem to have anything of substance to say about him. Granted, I couldn't watch longer than fifteen minutes.
I didn't watch any other episodes. It's just so hokey.
American Refugee (2021)
Academic man needs to prove he will fight for his family
When the country is thrown into chaos, a black family must seek shelter and food from their white next-door-neighbor, who happens to be a backwoods truther and religious zealot.
This movie was about as in-your-face superficial as it could get. Two families that are opposites in almost all aspects must survive together. The one quality we see shared in Greg, Winter, and Zoe is their need to be outspoken. This creates little squabbles ad nauseum among the characters.
The acting and writing were both meh, and I kept feeling like I was still waiting for the movie to take-off, though before I knew it, it was the end. It ended abruptly and unrealistically. I'll give it two stars because I did finish it, I was just hoping for more of a story. This depended entirely on opposing lifestyles creating conflict.
Dark Water (2005)
Kept waiting for more to happen
Slow-paced, dim-lit movie. I kept waiting for things to happen that never did. I kept waiting for previous scenes to be explained, but they never were. Multiple misdirects that made no sense.
Old (2021)
Nothing special but a decent film
It's hard not to of course think of Lost during this movie, since there are definite similarities. It's a very interesting concept. I don't normally get swept up in movies but this one certainly gave me a feeling of dread at times. I'll commend it for that.
This was listed under horror, and it falls into a category of Drama, Horror-lite Supernatural.
I wish this movie had more to it. While the main idea is intriguing, I feel like we never really got introduced to the characters-- almost as if the characters didn't really matter. The movie managed to feel slow, even though time is supposedly moving at a fast rate. You'd think we'd see some significant conversations between characters but we don't really.
I wasn't crazy about the ending. I was really hoping for something better than that but overall I enjoyed it and was interested throughout.