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What We Do in the Shadows: Nandor's Army (2024)
SO BORING!!!
They had an AMAZING chance to have a disillusioned Nandor join a bunch of OTHER / BETTER vampires... Instead they make up some story with a bunch of humans. I watched it, but was so disappointed. Much of it was fast-forward-past material. The fireworks were a pointless waste of the budget, but there was SO much wrong with this episode. Colin's excitement felt out of place, though he was the only "excited" Nandor follower. The rest had their own agendas. Its was disjointed and all over the place. The other few episodes were not much better, but at æeast one felt a bit "entertained". Why have a camera crew catch some boring events and not just edit those out. Exactly. Like so much from this episode. It was just tedious, but could have been so much better. (IMO)
The White Orchid (2018)
WoW! THere shoudl be MORE movies liek this!
Confession: I DO love "slow burn" movies. This one is "my pace"... Just calm, great scenes, slow attention to detail. Its almost like a testiment to the greatness of the Director (& Editor). The "detective" is not reallty interested in taking the case, it is almost forced on her, (like us, watching it, so we "identify") but her supervisor knows she is the right person for this case. The police are stumped, baffled, this is beyond them. This case requires the gentle but thorough detective work of someone who can put herself in the mind of the victim, whom no one knows the identity of. So, she flows into action, in her own calm way. Example: The amazing scene of her discovering the victim's classic car. Its like we are discovering it with her... and it blows the audience away, as much as it does the character we are watching. Personally I would have wanted (added) some scenes where she drives it... To see the vehicle on the road, as the detective, already established as being "inappropriate", puts herself in the frame of mind of the victim. Its excellent... but would have been "too much". I totally understand why it was a MOMENT, and then we save that moment, as she touches the car, for us... who cannot. It was just so beautiful... and started, without a fuss. Nice.
The "wrapping up" is regarded by many as "rushed"... but, it doesn't really "matter". What matters is... all the scenes that got us there. Scenes we lived through, with the detective. THAT is the movie. All those amazing scenes, ARE the movie. Not the end.
Its like saying a work of art, paintakingly worked on by an artist, for months, even years, is just... some splashes of paint here and there. -- That's all a painting is... to some people.
To others it is... The Mona Lisa.
Color Out of Space (2019)
It started so well...
Plot: A meteorite crashes into the ground of a family farm, with a dog, horse and some llamas (Alpakas), contaminating the ground with alien DNA.
From then on, about 90% of the movie is how, slowly, the family and residents of nearby areas are affected by the alien meteorite juice, which manifests in werid glowing colors, giving the name of the film. Rather than becoming a colorful Disney Classic, the alien DNA starts affecting living creatures it comes in contact with. Making them combine with each other and strange flowers and plants bearing weird mutated fruit start appearing... and the water well on their land is communicating (whistling) to their lonley little boy, who is easily mesmerised by this. The mother, who we learn has cancer, is preoccupied with her online money investing business, and the kids seem to be on holiday (no school nor home schooling). The teen girl, who is interested in Wicca, wants to try and call on spirits to cure her mother. During her ritual / ceremony, which one normally wants to perform privately, so one does not look a fool, a "Hydrologist" (water researcher, who we will call "Waterguy") walks in, claiming he has the right to do research in the area. He has seen her make a fool of herself, but avoided to pass judgement, so, they part on amicable terms. She even kinda likes him. Later he kinda becomes the hero of the story. HP Lovecraft stories often make researchers the heroes, because they are EDUCATED / KNOW MORE than the sheep that make up the rest of mostly ignorant "society". In this movie, those sheep would horribly COMBINE with each other.
However: Its like this film was directed by 2 (or more) people. Its a possibility that one of the "actors" suddenly, towards the end, decided he needed more "screen time", so, totally illogically, the film is suddeny all about HIM. (( WTF! )) Example? Ok, the father is DOWNSTAIRS, telling the cop and Waterguy that his whole family is THERE. (Its his imagination, and they humor him.) Then the Waterguy (Hydrologist?) hears the teen girl screaming, where her father has LOCKED her in, to "feed" her, alive, to her mutated mother... The cop and Waterguy break open then door, and the 2 of them, rush in... SUDDENLY the DAD, who was elsewhere, with his imaginary family... is IN FRONT OF THEM??? HOW? ... and the 3 of them, strike a pose (that would have fitted well on the poster, but wasn't used for that, too "posey") before they attend to the spider monster that was once the mother. WHO was behind THAT scene? Was it the Director making the most of the possibly already paid 'celebrity' hired actor? Was it the actor? Pushing his way to be in front of the camera, before it is too late... to BE someone 'important' in the film? WHoever it was, ruined the end of the film.
If this is newer than "Ghostrider", Cage is possinly STILL trying to justify the silly Ghostrider faces, as a sign of "going crazy". (Cage is a Heath Ledger's JOKER wannabe. Heath pulled that "crazy" off so well, now Cage wants the recognition. FAIL!) Its always been so unconvincing, and still is. Its just Cage doing "crazy faces"... Not convincingly, as usual. One can imagine audience AND DIRECTOR, probably going: "Cage is doinmg his 'crazy' face again". *sigh* ... Ruining another film, for evereyone. -- A note to any AUDIENCE: One way to "save the film", is... to look away. When Cage starts making stupid faces. He THINKS he's Heath Ledger. He's not. On seeing Cage do his stupid faces, one can image someone said: "We'll fix it in editing. This won't be in the final cut." Then they accidentally left it in. Oops. The whole FILM would have been BETTER without that crap.
Cage: "... but, it shows the guy is loving it?!?"
Audience, Director and Crew: "No."
It would be a BETTER FILM WITHOUT IT. Serisouly. Cage already ruined "GhostRider"... by just being IN IT. Johnny Blaze was BLOND haired David Soul looking guy. Not a Mexican. (Cage) #$%& This film could and should have been much better. The END part just ruins it.
So many ILLOGICAL scenes, PROBABLY ruined by Cage interference/selfish ego. Changing the script. He felt his character needed to be more "memorable", so, the girl he locked in, to be eaten ALIVE by her mother, as a monster, forced/pretends to be all distrought about her angry scumbag ready-fo-his-daughter-to-be-killed / eaten alive "father"... being shot!?! Its TOO ILLOGICAL and DEVICIVE for an audience to swallow. Then he comes back from the DEAD? Cage: "YEAH! USE THAT CELEBRITY STAR STATUS to your advantage! I'm STILL in the movie!" -- Yeah, Cage, MILK IT. ... and ruin it. -- Then they have to give some deep voice-over time to Chong. The other 'STAR' in this thing. -- A hippy weed smooking recluse living in the forest. Typecast?
It STARTED so well. It was like a REAL MOVIE, at the start. Hence the 3* insteasd of 1*.
Then, probably, Cage got involved with how it should be wrapped up... and he "Caged" it, into the crap we are now stuck with. *argh*
The Greatest Hits (2024)
PRE REVIEW! I had not seen this movie before writing the first part, but now I have.
I had NOT YET seen this movie when I wrote this review, and you may think this CRAZY, but... Just the IMDB DESCRIPTION is something I have been trying to do!!! For years!!! ??? So I was in SHOCK seeing there is a FILM based around what I have been trying to DO... That means someone else ALSO had thought about it, as a possibility! What a... "surprise". (understatement) -- but yes... I put on songs that I KNOW I listened to in my room, in Africa... and lie down, hoping that when I open my eyes... I will be BACK there... (I am in Iceland, now) So, I am VERY interested in seeing this film! :-O -- Yes, yes... I know... Its "fantasy"... and "make bellieve"... etc. BUT there are just SO MANY THINGS I would CHANGE, if I could pop back to Africa. To TELL myself what to do, and what NOT to do. That would have helped. -- I will check out the fim as soon as I can... and add an "EDIT" to this "PRE-REVIEW". (This might even be an IMDB "first".)
EDIT: wow... Its NOT like I imagined... and now I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but... In MY case, I was hoping I would just GO BACK and replace myself, in Africa, and a new life would start from there... changing stuff. (or I would see myself and afvise). They took a kind of "flashback" method. I just wanted to go back and live it, correcting mistakes... -- Ok, she does that too, in a way. Sometimes it felt a BIT on the "soppy sentimental" side... but it is a LOVE story!?! How can there NOT be "soppy" stuff... but it was all "tastefully" done, and that kinda saved it. I was more worried about the guy leaving his classic car OPEN... On the STREET... downtown... at NIGHT! We KNOW what riffraff crawl out of their dark holes, to do mischief. That KINDA got me "concerned". She also called "Max"... "David"... in the shop... I found it werid she didn't then say "DAVID" TO DAVID, when he walked right by her... ??? - I would have... Anyway. -- I am NOT going to lie, that there were no "soft eye" moments, for an audience member (me) on the journey though this film... ♥ ... and the MUSIC!!! OMG! So many GREAT covers... Cure... and I have always been a "Roxy" fan. You will know what I mean, if you see the film. -- However: To stay true to my rating system, I cannot give this more than a 7... but easily 7.6 * It was great. I liked it. Also the camera, absolutely STEADY, following the topless classic car, through the Los Angeles hills... Where I have ridden my motorcycle before. Beautiful. ♥ I regret nothing about seeing this film, and, in my opinion, the end WILL blow you away. ♥ Exquisite. I better stop, its making its way to an 8 !!! *phew* The MUSIC used in the film for memorable moments, took me back to the film "only lovers left alive" title/tt1714915/ although in a somewhat different way. -- I have now watched "Press Play"... another romantic time travelling film, and TO ME, the first part of that movie seemed "RUSHED"... When the lovebirds meet, its very clear they have no "chemistry", then they are rushed together, unconvincingly. In "Greatedt Hits" its a slower, more believable relationship that develops. Of the two, I find THIS movie better. I'd watch THIS again, not the other one. (I have no idea which came first, I'd have to check.)
Renfield (2023)
Realistically, if my friends can, so can Renfield
I honestly thought I would hate this movie. Seriously. They are messing with "Dracula", one of my favorite vampires. Similar to "Renfield" and clearing the way, so we can more readily accept it, is "Reginald the Vampire", which puts vampires in a kind of informal, non serious, modern setting, although it seems very "pop" and music orientated. Its on par with "Renfield" (in my opinion). Esp,. In the "not serious", almost "exploitation" style, that we see in Kung-Fu movies and silly, almost slapstick, mafia parodies. "Renfield" comes nowhere near "Francis Ford Coppolla's Dracula", which, apart from the awful, forced "English" accent of wasisname "Bill and Ted" actor, tuned mega action star in "John Wick 4" (oh yeah: Keanu Reeves!). Oldman was a GREAT Dracula in that film. No comparison. Another (better) movie that Renfield (which I have seen 3 times, it kinda grows on you, and the more often tyou see it, the more details you notice!) to watch is... that ugly Marvel vampire one... (now I will have to look it up): "Morbius" (which I have watched 10 times, and will watch it again, soon. Its not perfect, but better than Renfield, anyway.)
I KNOW I will watch Renfield again, making it 4 ior 5 times I have seen it, but as mentionedÞ each time you see it, you notice more stuff. In THAT way, it is well made. Hence the 7.
Improvements I would have made: IF they had: 1. Had "Cavecula" even MORE incapacitated, to explain better why Renfield had to help him. If Drac was as powerful as they make him, from the start, heðd have got his OWN VICTIMS, and been at full strength in no time. Having him REALLY badly incapacitated would have explained Renfield's motivation more. The way we SEE it, from the start, he's already in self pity / self serving therapy. Seems a bit selfish on Renfield's part. Most Renfields in older movies are insect munching LUNATICS. THis Renfield never comes across as anythign but abusing bug lives, for the illogically great power they give him. From an ANT!?! ... but, Renfield is "taking a life". So, with it, must come some sort of "surge". Just does not make sense how much he gets. This aspect of it is probably downplayed, when they know young kids will watch this. (I was a roleplayer for decades, and (for reasons known only to THEM) my friends DARED each other to eat "Daddy Longlegs" flies. Even first biting off wings, then legs then, munching on the body. SERIOUSLY! The "Young Teens" of our nation. So, Renfield doing it was not THAT surprising. My roleplaying friends are NOT lunatics, not been institutionalized. Just young and "daring", in their minds. So, the Renfield premise is not that far fetched. Watch: Klaus Kinski as "Nosferatu the Vampire" & loads more here: imdb.com/list/ls077357299/
Gallows Hill (2013)
Its NOT what you think. Unexpectedly Amaing.
At the start (I was ready to watch) a somewhat boring and typical road trip... but ending in a horror house (I read on IMDB that they end up at a house where an old pedo has a girl locked in the basement, and they free her... with consequences.
... but I was NOT expecting to get tricked into the AMAZING PLOT TWISTS and a well thought out plot that one could compare to John Carpenter's "The Thing"... Where the villain can assume anyone's identity, and no one knows who is what! -- What starts as a slow road trip, develops into an amazing visually impressive horror, that leaves you guessing WHAT NEXT!?! Its NOT what you think.
Deja Vu (2006)
Small Error... otherwise so good.
Excellent movie, and I have watched it several times, with years between viewings, but, this ONE thing always bugs me... They abandoned looking up the number plate of the car, too soon. ??? That way they would have known the culprit's name much sooner. They tried, but that time, it was too dark, but after that the number plate is LIT UP, multiple times, so why not get it, and find out the guy's name. This happens many TIMES, over... and they never bother looking at the number plate. Drove me crazy, when I am not... but they are, supposed to be "super observant law enforcement". Yet, they never bothered, after that one time, when it was too dark. Annoying to no end.
Ok, also when the cops SHOOT at the EXPLOSIVES in the SUV... and it has no effect. They should / could have skipped that bit, making the cops look bad. If the cops guessed there might be a bomb in the SUV, they would not have acted as they did to those in the SUV, nor SHOT at it. !?! That makes NO sense, and makes cops look like idiots (from "Police Academy"). *BOOM*
Otherwise excellent movie; exciting throughout, unexpected twists, and all. Love it.
You're Not a Monster (2019)
Amusing.
Confession: I did not "LAUGH" (so far)... but I repeatedly was "Amused". I can image it will be a great show for lovers of (old) monster movies. (Of which I am one.) Its an interesting premise: "Therapist of Monsters", and one that could be made great.
A lot of people compared it to "Ugly Americans" (tt1621748), if one has seen that, but also the "Therapist" part could remind some of the crazy patients of "Dr. Katz" (tt0111942)... which is also a cartoon.
However, after watching a few episodes, then the "Trailer" randomly came up, it did show how the episodes seem to be written around one liners. So, the trailer was full of episode SPOILERS, since each episode is short, and the one liner WAS kinda the whole episode, and even some of those seemed to be somewhat "cheesy", when one looks back. So, although they were great when one herd them the first time, they did not age well, when revealed the be the whole point of each episode... So even though one wants to love the show, one starts to understand some of the negative reviews. Possibly not all of us were as star struck (seeing our favorite monsters), and saw through the Emperor's New Clothes?
Personally I loved every episode, and hope there will be loads more. We still have plenty of monsters to choose from.
Morbius (2022)
Different Sort of -Vampire Movie-... I'd watch AGAIN... (and have)
This is a different take on the Vampire genre, and origin story. We sympathize with a person with a deadly illness, that could happen to any of us, trying to fix himself and find the cure for others. Its a very noble and human ideal to want to Live but also have Compassion.
Personally I.d have started the film differently, but history in flashbacks also works, that way you can jump straight to the action at the start (which is what people want these days *sigh*), and leave the background until people are in the thick of the action, in that way, this film feels a BIT -contrived-, but it still works, having the slow bully parts later, so we understand and sympathize with the motivation of the villain: After suffering, one understands the thrill of abusing power against those who deserve punishment, however having -power- corrupts many people. Never lose your Self, just because you can... but, ok, I do love slow burn movies, like -Angel Heart-. With this one, I would have started in the orphanage, and made the rest chronologically make sense... but I.d have made the film a LOT longer. One has to consider its made for today's audience, who are into instant gratification, and greedy for action, as opposed to slow character growth. People don.t have time for that these days, so you get what the majority wants... Hoping for a Directors Cut later, for those who want depth.
I am purposely avoiding any MAIN spoilers, because its a movie that people should see, without too many preconceived ideas, or opinions of others, even though IMDB is made for that. To me it was such a great movie, that I have now seen it more than 5 times. Its like with any film, each time you see it, you motive more stuff. I love that... and I love it.
Small comic reference: I DID see the comics decades ago and sadly, the artist that drew them, originally, had too BLOCK-Y a style for me. That, and how ugly Morbius looked in them, ruined those comics for me. *ahem* the weird thing is that I have an upturned nose, but his was just exaggerated. I wonder if it was by accident, or if it inspired Michael Jackson look, though. Michael would have LOVED Morbius. Hey! His name IS even -Michael- Morbius. Things that make you go -hmmm-. :-D.
The Endless (2017)
Either you get it, or don't.
This is one of these movies people either GET, or don't get... Like or don't like. I am sure some people are now saying "I get it, but didn't like it." - I am sure, its not a spoiler to say
its one of these Scifi Movies about what could be some alien force messing people about. On earth. Its got interesting moments, like how it "helps" with magic tricks, and traps others in vicious circles, but another thing seems to be family drama, and pairing people off, so they can hang around together forever. Which is nice. I think the point is everything is what you make of it, and one person's hell is another person's heaven. Like some people will like this film, others will hate it. Just like the people stuck in it. Bliss. - I gave it a 7 to be fair, because I know its not for everyone. I can imagine if I was different I'd hate it too, but its also not 9 material either... although well acted, by people playing nice and annoying characters. That kinda drags it down, because I didn't like some of the characters either, but the film and scifi concept was... interesting. It didn't quite make it to 8, and I kinda liked it. I don't feel I included any spoilers, but, it does give people a choice, to approach totally unprepared.
The Shape of Water (2017)
I am a bit late to the table, for this.. but...
Having been a Diver, I tried to put off seeing this movie as long as I could, and really wanted to try and make it "special", by being in a semi romantic, dreamy mood to appreciate it. The underwater beginning was already interesting and different, lovely light dancing on the floor may be something only a diver would appreciate. Befriending a creature was also interesting, possibly every little girl's dream? The same way that guys (like me( fantasized about meeting scantily clad Mermaids, underwater... and be whisked off to Atlantis, for mating purposes! ... looking back, I honestly think that would have made a better movie? I had to stop watching the movie when she was writing on the calendar when the rain would mean they opened some "flood gates"... but you can clearly SEE the SEA on the other side of them. They never establish WHY they have to wait until they open the flood gates... ??? (as I was glad to read many reviewers had mentioned). Another thing that bothered me was the dumb woman NOT revealing that evil boss acted inappropriately to her! This could excuse her acting differently at work, and NOT so obviously acting guilty. If the audience feel it is obvious, wouldn't the character?!? To reveal to others him to be a bad boss, and thus disguise her guilt. - I have yet to watch the rest of the movie, but just wanted to see if others had caught the gaping plot holes... that do not take the creature that they claim to want to save, and / or "love" so much, TO THE SEA. !!! I probably would have walked out of the cinema, at this point... but if I would not get my money back, I'd have to go back in, and probably hate the rest of what I am now, forced to watch. - I doubt it can be "saved" at this point, when one knows the PLOT is rubbish, but we'll see. *sigh* It can probably only get worse.
EDIT: I hate to sound like Seinfeld, but... What is it with all the CAKE being served in this movie? Did Bakeries fund the making of it, I must confess, I REALLY want some CAKE, about now, after seeing all those delicious slices being served in this movie.
Bob's Burgers: Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl (2014)
WoW! What an EXCELLENT Start of a season!
The school wants to put on a musical, Gene has had his heart of performing: "Die Hard the Musical", but they choose another one, proposed by Geneðs ex girlfriend's father. Of course Louise has a dastardly plan to help her brother make HIS dream come true; make some money; and revenge against Gene's ex girlfriend, who's father is a musician, which is an unfair advantage, when its supposed to be the kids that organize the musicals. With conflicting loyalties, not all goes according to plan... Excellent start of Season 5. Musical lovers will not be disappointed. (ps. I was in many school musicals as a kid. This may mean a slight bias. Hansel & Gretel (White Bird), Oliver! (3 bit parts: Workhouse Boy, Den Boy, & Knife Grinder), Pinocchio (Mr. Fox), Jesus Christ Superstar (Pontius Pilate)).
Bob's Burgers: The Kids Run Away (2014)
SHAME ON YOU!!! I wept... ???
Shame on the makers of this show for making a grown person WEEP... with laughter. I am sure everyone has their favorite character in this show. Louise is mine. The weird thing is... I know a girl who is just like her. Hates everything, but inside her, she is in love / hate conflict. So adorable, and she would HATE that someone feels its "adorable". ❤ IN this episode Louise has a cavity and needs to go to the Dentist (that Tina has a crush on.) She (like ME) has a Dentist PHOBIA. So, she runs away. Thankfully to her Mother's Sister's place. Her parents need to deal with it on terms that Louise will accept. Fortunately they have inside help, to try and make her lose the bet. The resolution should be an example to all parents. (Also I have been told that I have sleep "apnea" (so THAT poke was especially funny, to me) but girls that have been "lucky" enough to spend nights with me, are often in a PANIC, when I stop breathing... for AGES... and they don't know if they should commence CPR, or just let me die, since it also comes with snoring. *sigh* but... THEN they understand "separate bedrooms" is not from hating their clammy hands on me.) ❤
Bob's Burgers: Dr. Yap (2012)
Watched it 3 times... and will watch again.
Sometimes a cartoon show takes you by surprise. Sure, it handles a lot of topics, social situations, etc. But sooner or later they are sure to stumble onto GOLD! .. aka. A topic that is relevant to A viewer! Its PROBABLY from personal experience, but this episode just hit home. Sure, who hasn't been seeing someone, who has a sibling that is somehow very interesting... for whatever reason. So, they stumbled onto Linda's SISTER, who shows up and a doped up Bob think she is Linda, resulting in this pantomime-like "farce". It might help, that some viewers might also hate dentists. This is the Sister-Dentist episode. So good. I am watching it again!
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Truth (2021)
What??? How did this anticipated episode become slow boat repair?
Everyone (and their dog) was on the edge of their seat at the end of the last episode... To see the consequences of what the new Captain America did. So, after that was dealt with, and Cap scolded... Why not feature HIM and HIS struggle? Instead of Falcon (and Wolf-ie) wasting time repairing a boat. ??? I HOPE this will be the source of MANY parodies. - I'd like to carry on with this review, but first, I have to repair a boat. Paint this, adjust that... I'll be right with you... Engine room, stern... - Ok, where were we? Where did Cap go? Was he always married to a token Latina woman? Is she an illegal? Hold on, got to get back to that boat... but not before playing frisbee with the shield, a bit, pretending its SO difficult. I can FLY though the SKY, dodging missiles, from helicopters, but... Lose balance when trying to catch a frisbee. Oh! I better get back to that boat repair... (( In Comics this is handled with: "Later, when the boat repair done..." In this episode its almost real time, paint this, screw that. Funny since that is exactly how the audience feel. Let me get back to repairing that boat, slowly... and "Don't FLIRT with my sister." I don't care HOW lucky you got in Wakanda.
Naked Attraction (2016)
Totally Disagree with many reviews on here...
Its a show where a contestant gets to see naked parts of other people, and slowly eliminates those he or she does not feel attracted to, hoping to end with someone he feels totally attracted to, naked.
First! Can you IMAGINE the COURAGE it takes to appear on national TV nude!!! I have nothing but RESPECT for the people taking part in this show. I could NOT do it, because I am too shy, and self conscious.
Secondly, it is incredibly educational, so people can see how others are nude. Something not all of us have the privilege to do without all sorts of costs and complications. Anyone who has dated, knows that... but imagine being able to SEE the body of the person before you commit. That is a bonus many of us would love to have.
The only negative thing I feel about this show, hence "only" 7/10 from me... is that understandably the people taking part... are not the most "beautiful" out there, but then again, THOSE people would not want you to see them naked on national TV, unless they were acting, and the role required nudity. Of course in movies, there are ways around it, like Angie Dickinson, who had a body double, in a shower scene, or CGI, as in "the shaming" in "Game of Thrones". So there are solutions.
But this show has real people, with real bodies, and could be very interesting to those who do not know what NORMAL people's bodies look like. NOT all people have gym hard bodies. So maybe this really deserves at least an 8. So be it.
PS. My GUESS of why the low reviews: ENVY. That someone else gets to do a show they would love to be on. Hah.
I can't resist a joke to end... Its hilarious every time the guys refer to the decision they say: "Its SOOO hard!" ... *ahem* Its doesn't look very hard! :-D
Sorry! Sorry! I HAD to. (Just watching one of the shows, right now. Great stuff.)
Rhod Gilbert's Growing Pains (2021)
Painful to Watch
Although Rhod CAN be a funny comedian, as can be heard on "4 Stand Up" (radio show?) this panel show was painful to watch, I only made it through 2 episodes, before I had no pity left. Its sad when one can see the contestants giving each other polite laughs, to boring unfunny rubbish that happened to them. I can't believe no one watched this, before it aired, and pulled the plug before people's reputations were irreparably damaged, by showing others how unfunny, boring and silly they can be. I think it may help if one "knew" who these "celebrities" were, before they killed their careers on this boring show. The side facial shots are unflattering, people are looking away, when it is cut to them, its just ALL awful. Its ALMOST as if this was a DARE "how bad can we make a show." I don't want to sound sexist, but as a guy, the cleavage on the woman in episode 2 did make me fast forward to when she was on the screen, and again. The guys were just so boring and uninteresting, and the discussion was so pointless... There was some rule about a wooden chest, in which some stuff was thrown, for some reason. It was just so uncaptivating, one did not even care what THAT was about. I donpt know who this was FOR, but probably only of interest to the families pf these (unknown, to me) "celebrities". Its like watching "celebrities" on Australian shows... Who knows who they are, and who cares! Its amusing because they have their own top songs,m that THEY all know... but no one else does. Same with this show. Its probably only for English people... no, they would die of how boring it is, too. Watch UK "Would I lie To You" at least that can be funny, and you don't really have to know who the people taking part are.
American Idol: The Search for a Superstar: 401 (Auditions) (2021)
Racists! The END of "Idol" for me.
I was all set to binge watch the whole season, starting with this episode. First strike was when a singer who looked a bit like Elvis had a kid with Bieber, was told that he was "too arrogant" ??? Then Lionel Ritchie left his seat, to show him, VISUALLY how LOW and pathetic he was. ??? "You are HERE" said Lionel indicating he was as low as a knee. Then realizing how it looked, he said you will be here... equal to him, but never indicated thet he might then be BETTER than Lionel, who regards himself as better than this "boy", who dropped out last time, after winning a "Hollywood" ticket. (The boy was white... but at this point that didn't "matter"... until later in the episode.) - Then there was a Canadian girl who was obviously a GREAT singer, with great vocal control that Perry recognized, but Lionel and that white country singer guy felt intimidated by, and decided to say "no". SHOCK! ... and I TOTALLY understood Katy Perry being in a SHOCK, and MARCHING OFF the intimidated CHAUVINIST judge table. I was TOTALLY WITH HER. This girl might not have been everyone's "taste" in singing style, but she COULD SING... but was not put forward. (She is white)... Then on comes some poor weepie black girl, who breaks down on the stage, and doesn't remember what she was going to sing, and disguises it as a weepie fit, and the judges (esp. Lionel) goes to comfort her, for being so "nervous"... (Where was THIS "CARE" when they were watching the Canadian girl, with a bit a nervous wobble in her voice?)... Then they had a PRAYER session with this BLACK girl.. ??? This, after dismissing a talented Canadian girl! WTF! "American Idol" has become RACIST... and that is the END of it, for me. (With THESE racist, poor excuse for "judges". Pathetic. Except for Perry, she kinda redeemed herself, by marching off, even if it was for "show"... and although they were ALL conned by the weepie black girl. I just HOPE she got booted after an undeserved Hollywood.)
How LOW would Lionel Ritchie's hand have to be... to show how LOW the poor BLACK girl was? ... Now you "get it". He never showed HER!
Ps. Not that it should matter, but I AM white, but raised in Africa, where I was a judge in some dance contests, even though my African girlfriend felt it strange, since I did not really "dance", but had done some "ballet" as a child in England... and... Although one of my best friends is gay... I am not.
Buoyancy (2020)
ARGH! The newest reviews came too late to save me!
The plot sounded alright, but why only 2 people on a 4 person submarine, and he said he was going to see a friend, then never went there? Neither of them make any mention of this, after that, which makes no sense, since she had second thoughts about staying, and would insist. Why would she not question him
and demand that he do as he promised. How can she not recognize herself as a kid? Did she never look in a mirror? It seems as if they were originally going to make a completely different film, then decided, to wrap it up, as this terrible psycho rubbish, that will never be anything. The acting is also terrible. You kind of excuse it, at first, but then it just becomes annoyingly fake, as they do stuff that the intelligent characters they are supposed to be, wouldn't do. She would NEVER agree to take part in the tank, since she is portrayed as being that stubborn and headstrong. Also that woman "half warning" her, why not just blurt out the warning. That is as annoying as people who switch to slow motion during a horror movie, scared people would hurry to check what is bugging them, but then you ca't have that music and suspense buildup, however unrealistic it is. If you liked this (all these 10s ??? seriously?) there are loads of slow rubbish films for you: Check out The Connection (2021), The Pond (2021) and I Trapped the Devil (2019). They are on par with this crap.
The Pond (2021)
Ugh! ... and then... nothing!
With the dreary atmosphere I was HOPING the movie was building up for a BIG shock, that would screw viewers up, for the rest of their lives... Like the original "Woman in Black", which had the same slow weird atmospheric stuff. Nope. The toilet door being stuck, I HONESTLY thought "Twighead" was FORMING out of the pond water in the toilet, and would then GRAB the guy, or daughter, or something! ANYTHING! Nope. I totally agree with the other reviewer, I SHOULD have fast forwarded through it, instead of hoping there was a big creepy life changing SCARE coming. At least SHOW the splatter of the guy who jumped. Change the face of the chess opponent creepy writhing "Devils Advocate" style. It was all... So, mismanaged. Mishandled with wasted opportunities left and wrong. I hope someone takes this movie, and edits it, properly, with subtle creepy CGI. That would make ALL the difference. There were NO staring fire eyes, no "torture", no spooky music swells, no nothing. Just a guy doing silly research, and the movie director TRYING to make something out of that, but failing miserably. Small pointless circles, in a pond?!? The people who were really in "hell"... where the poor idiots (me included) who WATCHED this film to the end... hoping to be scared and scarred for life by an extremely scary END scene. Something! Anything! Nope. What a waste. Sadly. Someone please take this and make it spooky. It has elements that could be made spooky. Girl walking in a leafless tree avenue. She mentioned a nightmare creature, but that is never really shared with the viewer... and its NOT "what you don't see is even more powerful". At least you have to hear it, then, or something. A puppet? The dream acted by puppets? Threatening creepy animation? Anything. We got nothing.
Person of Interest (2011)
Its as if no one knows about the old ones!
Living in Africa meant that we got shows "later", when they were cheaper, for the tv stations. Some shows using "high tech" just blew people away! Sure, it was Sci-Fi, and some people had seen gadgets in James Bond movies, but... Shows like SEARCH (1972) and the movie PROBE (1972) pioneered agents using high tech gizmos, sometimes with a whole department, who saw what they saw, and offered support for the active agent, on the mission, in the field. This is more or less the premise for "Person of Interest" although it deals more with organised crime in American cities, and corrupt police. It does get repetitive after while, although the main plots do, sort of, save it.
It does get very annoying towards the middle of the 3rd season, after they were doing so well in 1 and 2, and they increasingly use the annoying flashbacks to establish background and motive, for the episode. I ended up fast forwarding past some of those boring "filler" bits, to keep the episode "action" going. Also, in one season 3 episode, they are supposed to be being "briefed" about a dangerous security setup, but Finch just races though the technical details, as if they didn't really need to waste the time, and it didn't matter (they were going to succeed anyway, so why waste time on it?), so they didn't dwell on it, long enough for even the characters (or audience), to get what was going to happen. "Its got 7 levels, on a level and there's blah blah, and then a level of blah blah... When you will be faced with motion detectors, and temperature sensitive area guarding blah blah..." -- The plot was either to steal a heavily guarded book... or ... Save the thief's kidnapped daughter. If the characters had been real, and just heard all that fast crap about how hard it would be to steal the book... I was saying, on behalf of the characters: "Lets go back and take a look at saving that little GIRL, again." I know it sounds like a comedy sketch... but it was actually the plot of a rather boring episode. Also some of what happened made no sense, like, why would the dirty police friend of suit guy... Fight him at a bar? Its like "lets do a 'Marvel What-If' those sell a lot of comics", as well as Batman using kryptonite against Superman, and the cops showing up, stopping them, is on a cringe low level, like "You are not allowed to say her name!". ("Martha"? was it? I am doing my best to forget it... and its working.)
So, there's the good with the bad. Excellent 2 first seasons, and then an infuriating 3rd season full of annoying plot holes and annoying character in-actions. Example? Ok, if Finch HAD released Root, as many viewers must have felt he should have done, the police woman would have had a totally different plot path. Its like this is never addressed in the show. That Finch is really partially responsible for her consequences, because he limits Root, who could have helped everybody. Incredibly annoying... and un-addressed. I am not done with season 3... and should really have stopped after a few episodes of season 3, when some calm had been established.
Other similar shows and movies are: "Limitless" and "Lucy".
Magic Camp (2020)
I tried... but could not. Sorry.
You know that day when your little cousins come over, and even though you are an adult, you want to TRY and play "cars" with them? Then, when trying to push a toy car, that you LOVED to do when you were a child... You just CAN'T, any more. This is how I felt about this film. Stage Magic can be fun... That actor from that really funny soap comedy about 3 guys working at the same office, can be funny... but as other reviewers on IMDB have stated, the jokes just aren't funny. Its a film for young American children, who have to deal with bullying in school, and being the underling. In that sense its educational, how to be... Having the usual spoilt brats and poor make do-ers. I am sure the bullies get dealt with, later, but I gave up when they arrived at the magic school. I realised, its for someone a lot younger then me. Sorry, but I did try.
Torden (2020)
Audience discover with the hero.
Slow is the way to go, sometimes. Imagine if it was you, and you don't understand what is going on with you. Like a disease, or trauma. In this world of instant gratification movies, its refreshing for a movie to let one live it, in seemingly real-time, with the hero. Slowly, cautiously, discovering what he can, and cannot do. Its like people are in such a hurry to know everything. They almost need to re-learn to discover it, as the hero in the film discovers it. There is doubt, and concern, even fear, that needs to be overcome. You have to look before you leap, especially into he unknown. Its called Patience. People who rush into what they don't understand, will regret it. So, go at your own pace. Like this movie does. Especially when you are in doubt about who you are, slowly leading to self discovery. Why rush it? I love how the movie criticizes and slams others feeling they have to "control" everything and others. Not unlike some of these instant gratification addict negative IMDB commenters, who wouldn't know a good movie if it was in front of them, educating them. They want to control it, insulting that scum, is what this movie is also about. You control nothing. You do not seem to understand that your comments become what you expose: "boring and depressing". Worthless comments take up space and often reveal your ignorance, and that you seem to have have missed the point. You are the "take the shot" crowd, and try to ruin it for the rest, but... as the film shows, sometimes there are consequences. You seem to have learnt nothing from watching this film. Now go watch "Police Academy" that's your level. Leave the more sophisticated, slow, involved, deep movies to the more mature people, who appreciate them. Thank you.
Robin Hood (2018)
Had me hooked.
Some of the IMDB haters of this film must have been watching some other movie... Not the movie I just watched. Sure, its got its own twists on the legend, but that made it more intriguing. Obviously it doesn't *change* the legend that we know. That will always be there... but what new stuff will they do with it? That's the intriguing and audience captivating thing. -- At the start, with today's feminism and trying to be overly non sexist and politically correct, I thought they *might* make it ALL Marion... and Robin was just a manipulated noble, but no, I am a bit thankful that was not the case. All in all, I felt it was an extremely exciting film. Not without gaping plot holes, like: They SAW the "Moor", publicly, with Robin, but no one made the connection? No disguise for the Moor? That was a bit silly, but apart from that, there were many occurrences that made up for it. All in all the film seemed exciting, and had no real boring bits, whatsoever. There was always something going on, to keep the viewer entertained, and rewarded, that they kept watching. Other films like it would be "Zorro" or "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" (2017). I wouldn't watch this film again, soon, but I'd possibly watch it again, after some time has passed. It was interesting.
Puzzle (2018)
Taken for Granted Woman Discovers Life
This is an atmospheric slow movie. (I love those because they slowly share with the viewer, the normality that the characters are used to, so we understand why a change must take place... but change comes with consequences.) Most of us can identify with what they are going through. Its about a woman who has no real life, but is just existing, selflessly, in a relationship where even her husband admits she is "used by everyone". She tries to do things for herself, but even then she ends up doing everything for others, and selfishly, no one does anything for her. Bored out of her skull, she rediscovers her love (and talent) for putting together jigsaw puzzles... Which then takes her on an adventure that wakes her up, to realise, that she is "Someone". Someone who has missed out on a lot of things, because she has been tending others, who now take her for granted. She is like a slave and servant to their needs, and, to them, who have been spoilt by her, deserves nothing more than the pleasure she must get from serving them. Then, like a bird that accidentally escapes from a cage, she is... Awake, Alive and Free... to do what SHE really wants to do. Ultimately, with this new found freedom, she must decide where she belongs. It could be considered an adult coming of age story.