What do you think when you hear the term "reality show"? Does it mean dirty, gritty, hard to watch? Surviving on a Pacific island? Someone following people around 24 hours a day with a hand-held camera, recording every yawn, belch, and insult? People diving off skyscrapers attached to a bungee cord? It can also mean just watching a family going about the business of being a family, and staying a family, in spite of the fact that not everybody shares everybody else's DNA. It means Erich Segal was wrong as hell, because sometimes love does indeed mean having to say you're sorry, and then prove it, because your family's future depends on it.
So sometimes the show lives up to the commercials, and everything's light and airy, and they're having parties for Hollywood royalty, and the only one who's disaffected by the process is three-year-old Maya, who for once isn't the center of attention. And sometimes we see a different side of the fairytale life, the side that has ogres and demons in it, and maybe Prince Charming wasn't always so charming after all. Sometimes we see magical reality, the big house on the hill, California sunshine and lots of love. And then there's a storm and a mudslide, and reality intrudes on perfection.
Are they aware that there's an intruder in the house, a guy with a camera who shouldn't be there, and usually isn't, but there he is? Of course. Does that make a difference? How could it not? It's like Heisenberg's principle in physicsbeing observed changes the object being observed. But does that mean it isn't reality? Of course not. You can bet your life no one has yet said, "Okay, Celeste, take it from the top and this time, cry a little louder!" (She's one year old.) You can tell kids, dogs, and cats to be on their best behavior, but you still hold your breath while the camera's on them. They're all beautiful, to be sure, but all the halos are a bit tilted. So are Mom and Dad's. And that's where the reality comes in. Yeah, Dad gets to do romantic things like go off to work on a movie, but when he's home, he's got his "honey do" list just like all other dads, and just when he's stretched out on the couch to enjoy a well-intentioned but probably not very expert foot rub from one of the kids, he hears his name being called, and he gets that "omigod" look in his eyes. One more chore to do before he can collapse. Find a husband who can't identify with that one. Or a wife who hasn't been disappointed by Mr. Right. Maybe there were times when the Van Diens felt like they'd dived off a skyscraper, and both of them wondered if the safety line would hold.
It's the best of both worlds, reality and fantasy, beautiful people with some not-so-beautiful problems. It's the offspring of three different relationships trying to mold themselves into one family. It's two people trying to guide a fairytale romance through the inevitable clash with reality so it will come out intact and functioning on the other side. Sometimes it's hard to watch (because of the subject material), sometimes it's fun, but they're an engaging bunch and it's an entertaining hour.
