Im Thin Thít Và Lặn Mất Tăm (2005)

Gloria Goodfellow : You can't just go 'round killing people just because you don't approve of them!

Grace Hawkins : You know, that's what my doctors used to say. It was the one point we could never agree on.

Gloria Goodfellow : Aren't we forgetting the small matter of dead bodies?

Grace Hawkins : How did you know about the other bodies?

Gloria Goodfellow : What other bodies?

Grace Hawkins : Oh. You didn't know about the other bodies...

Gloria Goodfellow : WHAT other bodies?

Grace Hawkins : Oh, just Mr. Brown's dog. And... and Mr. Brown.

Gloria Goodfellow : You killed them too?

Grace Hawkins : I did it for you, dear.

[Petey has just seen his bullies' bikes give way under them, not knowing that Grace cut the brake cables]

Petey Goodfellow : Billy Martin's dead! Mummy! Mummy! Billy Martin came after me, but Grace was there and all I said was "broccoli" and now he's dead! Billy Martin's dead! Woo Hoo!

[Petey runs inside cheering]

Gloria Goodfellow : [whispering to Grace] Could we have a word? Is Billy Martin really dead?

Grace Hawkins : [whispers back] No, just unconscious if I'm any judge. But please don't tell Petey; he's so excited.

Grace Hawkins : This is Grace speaking. Would you like to come out from under the bed?

Gloria Goodfellow : Um... Coming.

[the housekeeper's trunk, which has arrived before her, has a nametag reading "Grace"]

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Do you think it's a sign?

Gloria Goodfellow : No. I think it's a trunk.

Grace Hawkins : You know, men do sometimes lose their way, dear. I mean, Walter is a sweet soul, but he's a bit slow-witted like the rest of them.

Gloria Goodfellow : So you were married too?

Grace Hawkins : Yes I was. A long time ago.

Gloria Goodfellow : Did he lose his way?

Grace Hawkins : With a little help from another woman.

Gloria Goodfellow : Ohh...

Grace Hawkins : Completely lost his head over her.

[Gloria sees Lance's dead body in his car]

Gloria Goodfellow : Oh Jesus Christ.

Grace Hawkins : It's all right. I didn't chop him up or anything grisly like that. Where are you going?

Gloria Goodfellow : I'm not doing it.

Grace Hawkins : But I can't drive.

Gloria Goodfellow : I'm not getting in the car.

Grace Hawkins : I'm a learner. Officially I need someone with me.

Gloria Goodfellow : I would say under the circumstances the normal rules do not apply.

Gloria Goodfellow : This cannot go on mother, I've had enough.

Grace Hawkins : I understand you're upset.

Gloria Goodfellow : Too bloody right I'm upset, I've got two dead bodies. One in the pond and one in the sitting room.

Grace Hawkins : No, you've got three dead bodies in the pond because you're forgetting...

Gloria Goodfellow : Grace, this has gone far enough. And I mean it.

Gloria Goodfellow : I wonder if he's found that dog yet.

Grace Hawkins : Oh, Mr Brown's on holiday.

Gloria Goodfellow : Oh? Where?

Grace Hawkins : I think he said 'down under'.

Bob : [discussing the problem of the pond] So there's really just the one option.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Yes, there's, um, just the one option.

Gloria Goodfellow : Which is?

Bob : Drain it.

Gloria Goodfellow : Drain it.

[pauses]

Gloria Goodfellow : Shall I put the kettle on?

Gloria Goodfellow : [to her neighbour's dog] Fuck off.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Was that a brassiere over Holly's shoulder this morning?

Gloria Goodfellow : You're half a day behind the rest of us you know. And it's called a bra nowadays.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : But why did she have it over her shoulder?

Gloria Goodfellow : [sighs] She was doing the laundry.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : So. They made love in every room in the house did they? Lilian and Brian? And they went round twice. I think we've got some catching up to do.

Gloria Goodfellow : No. I must see to Mrs Parker.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Oh gosh. Do you need me?

Gloria Goodfellow : No, no. It's just the flower arranging committee.

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Dear God. I swear that committee will be the death of her.

Gloria Goodfellow : It's just not fair. Other daughters get to plan weddings, bake cakes, go shopping with their mothers. What do I do? Dispose of dead bodies.

Gloria Goodfellow : And I thought being an orphan was a bad thing.

Gloria Goodfellow : Petey? Petey? Walter?

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the waterboard, we're just discussing the...

Gloria Goodfellow : Walter, where's Petey?

Reverend Walter Goodfellow : Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.

Gloria Goodfellow : I know the bloody feeling.

Gloria Goodfellow : [writing to Grace] So in all, I'd say our life here is complete. It just ambles along in its quiet and merry way. A few hiccups here and there. Like the pond. Which now, they tell me, needs to be drained. It's a bit of a fuss as you can imagine but I'm sure we'll sort something out.

Holly Goodfellow : Oh my God. He is really stiff!

Gloria Goodfellow : Oh Holly, do you have to?

Holly Goodfellow : I've never seen anything like this.

Gloria Goodfellow : Now, let me get this straight. My son is rid of his bullies, my husband has become a comedian and my nymphomaniac daughter has discovered cookery.

[looks up and whispers]

Gloria Goodfellow : What's going on?

Gloria Goodfellow : Oh God, what's that?

Lance : What?

Gloria Goodfellow : That.

Lance : This is my lurve pack...

Gloria Goodfellow : I know what it is Lance.

Lance : I thought you Brits liked this kind of thing.

Gloria Goodfellow : No. We don't.

Lance : You do not think this is hot?

Gloria Goodfellow : No.

Mrs. Parker : Is that Holly I heard?