King Kong (2005)

Jack Black: Carl Denham

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Carl Denham : It wasn't the airplanes. It was beauty killed the beast.

• Carl Denham : Bringing to mind that Old Arabian Proverb: And lo, the beast looked upon the face of beauty, and beauty stayed his hand. And from that day forward, he was as one dead."

• Carl Denham : Monsters belong in B movies.

• Captain Englehorn : That's the thing about cockroaches. No matter how many times you flushed them down the toilet, they always crawl back up the bowl.

  Carl Denham : Hey, buddy, I'm out of the bowl. I'm drying off my wings and trekking across the lid.

• Carl Denham : Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you... KONG! THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!

• Carl Denham : $2,000. It's a deal. Will you take a check?

  Captain Englehorn : Do I have a choice?

• Carl Denham : [filming the brontosaurs]  Walk forward, Bruce.

  Bruce Baxter : What?

  Carl Denham : You're the star of this picture. Get into character and head towards the animals.

  Bruce Baxter : What the hell kind of place is this? Are you sure about this, Denham? Don't we have a stand-in for this type of thing?

  Carl Denham : I need you in the shot, or people will say they're fake.

  Bruce Baxter : Oh, nobody's gonna think these are fake.

• [after already promising to dedicate the film to Mike] 

  Carl Denham : Goddamn it, Preston we're gonna finish this film for Herb. And we'll donate the proceeds to his wife and kids.

• Carl Denham : I've risked everything I had on this film.

  Captain Englehorn : No, Denham, you risked everything I have.

• Carl Denham : Ann, I'm not that kind of person.

  Ann Darrow : Oh, really, then what kind of person are you, Mr.Denham?

  Carl Denham : I'm someone you can trust, I'm a movie producer.

• Carl Denham : God damn it, Preston, all you had to do was look her in the eye and lie!

• Carl Denham : Oh! Ann, this is... uh... Ann?

  Ann Darrow : That's all right Mr. Denham. I know who this is. Thrilled to meet you. It's an honor to be a part of this.

  [shakes hands with Mike] 

  Mike : [confused]  Gee, thanks.

  Ann Darrow : Actually, I'm quite familiar with your work.

  Mike : [very confused]  Really?

  Ann Darrow : Yes, and what I most admire is the way you've captured the voice of the common people.

  Mike : [smiling now]  Well, uh, that's my job.

  Ann Darrow : I'm sure you've heard this before, Mr. Driscoll, if you don't mind me saying, but, you don't look at all like your photograph.

  [Jack Driscoll looks over] 

  Mike : [smile disappears]  I'm sorry...

  Carl Denham : Wait a minute, Ann.

  Ann Darrow : [to Carl]  He's so much younger in person. And much better looking.

  Carl Denham : [as Jack approaches Ann from behind]  Ann, stop. Stop right there.

  Ann Darrow : [to Mike again]  You see. I was just afraid that you might be one of those self-obsessed, literary types.

  Mike : I'm sorry. I'm not...

  Ann Darrow : You know, the tweedy twerp with his nose in his book and his head up his a...

  [Jack snaps his book shut just behind her head. She turns around] 

  Jack Driscoll : It's nice to meet you too, Miss Darrow.

• Captain Englehorn : There's nothing out there!

  Carl Denham : Then you have nothing to lose...

• Carl Denham : Don't worry, Preston. I've had a lot of practice at this. I'm real good at crapping the crappers.

• Carl Denham : [Before climbing to the top of the bug-pit]  Just as you go down... for the third and final time... as your head disappears beneath the waves... and your lungs fill with water... do you know what happens in those last precious seconds before you drown?

  Bruce Baxter : [pushing Denham towards the rope]  Come on, buddy. Get up the rope. Come on. Get out of here. Come on.

  Carl Denham : [continuing]  Your whole life passes before your eyes. And if you've lived as a true American... you get to watch it all in color.

  [smiles] 

  Bruce Baxter : Oh, and you will. Now why don't you climb up the rope, huh? Come on.

  [calling out to Jack] 

  Bruce Baxter : Come on, Driscoll. Let's go!

• [after a studio executive has suggested nude film shots] 

  Carl Denham : What are you, an idiot? Do you think they ever asked Cecil B. DeMille if he wasted his time on nudie shots? No! They respected the filmmaker! They showed some class! Not that YOU would know what class is, you cheap lowlife!

• Carl Denham : Ann, I'm telling you - you're perfect. Look at you. You're the saddest girl I've ever met. You're gonna make them weep, Ann. You're gonna break their hearts.

  Ann Darrow : See, that's where you're wrong, Mr. Denham. I make people laugh, that's what I do. Good luck with your picture.

  Carl Denham : Ann? Miss Darrow, please! I'm offering you money. Adventure, fame, the thrill of a lifetime, and a long sea voyage. You want to read a script? Jack Driscoll's turning in a draft as we speak.

  Ann Darrow : Jack Driscoll?

  Carl Denham : Sure, why? Wait. You know him?

  Ann Darrow : No, not personally. I've seen his plays.

  Carl Denham : What a writer, huh? And let me tell you, Ann. Jack Driscoll does not want just anyone starring in this picture. He said to me, "Carl, somewhere out there is a woman born to play this role." And as soon as I saw you, I knew.

  Ann Darrow : Knew what?

  Carl Denham : It was always going to be you.

• Carl Denham : [to aboriginal girl]  Look, chocolate! Here, take it. Go ahead, take it.

  [through clenched teeth] 

  Carl Denham : Here, put it in you hand and take it.

• Hayes : If someone were to tell you this ship was headed for Singapore, what would you say?

  Lumpy the Cook : I'd say they're full of it Mr. Hayes. I mean we turned Southwest last night.

  Carl Denham : Fellas, we're not looking for any trouble...

  Jimmy : No. You're looking for somethin' else.

• Carl Denham : Defeat is always momentary!

• Carl Denham : I'm not gonna let them kill my film!

• Carl Denham : I'll give you another thousand if we leave right now.

  Captain Englehorn : You haven't given me the first thousand yet.

  Carl Denham : Can we talk about this later? Can't you see we are in the company of a VIP guest?

  Captain Englehorn : [he took one look at her, and was immediately enamoured]  Ma'am.

  Ann Darrow : Ann Darrow.

• [the boat is leaving the dock, and Carl made Jack stay because he hasn't finished the script] 

  Carl Denham : I keep telling you, Jack, there's no money in theater. That's why you should stick with film.

  Jack Driscoll : No Carl, it's not about the money. I love theater.

  Carl Denham : No, you don't. If you really loved it, you would've jumped.

• Carl Denham : I'll give you another thousand to leave right now.

  Captain Englehorn : You haven't given me the first thousand yet.

• Carl Denham : I'm finished.

  Jack Driscoll : How did you think this would end, Carl?

• Carl Denham : [Denham stalls as the ship prepares to depart]  Alright. We might as well settle up.

  Jack Driscoll : You're gonna pay me?

  Carl Denham : I'm not gonna stiff a friend.

  Jack Driscoll : I've never known you to volunteer cash before.

  Carl Denham : How does two grand sound?

  Jack Driscoll : That sounds great... sounds great.

  Carl Denham : Here ya go.

  Jack Driscoll : Carl, you... you've written, "two grand".

  Carl Denham : Thought I did. I'm sorry, let's just do this from the beginning.

• Carl Denham : She's standing at the railing. She doesn't know it yet, but they are sailing toward disaster. You got that?

  Jack Driscoll : Okay, so she turns and the first mate is staggering toward her. There's a knife sticking out of his back.

  Carl Denham : Wait a second... We're killing off the first mate?

  Jack Driscoll : Well that's assuming she knows who the first mate is.

  Carl Denham : Come on, Jack. It was an honest mistake. Anne is near-sighted. It could'a happened to anyone.

  Jack Driscoll : I was joking, Carl.

• Jack Driscoll : [looking at map]  What is that?

  Carl Denham : What?

  Jack Driscoll : That. That right there.

  Carl Denham : I don't know. What is it? A coffee stain?

• Carl Denham : Bring the tripod and all of the film.

  Herb : Want to switch to the six-inch lens?

  Carl Denham : [considering Kong, who only he has seen]  The wide-angle will do just fine.

• Carl Denham : I'm touching the beast.

• Captain Englehorn : There's a warrant out for your arrest. Did you know that? I have been ordered to divert to Rangoon.

  Carl Denham : Another week. I haven't got a film yet. Please, I have risked everything.

  Captain Englehorn : No, Denham. You risked everything I have!

  Carl Denham : What do you want? Tell me what you want. I will do anything.

  Captain Englehorn : I want you off my ship!

• Carl Denham : [running from the stampeding long-necked brontosaurs while carrying his camera]  *Run, Jack!*

• Carl Denham : He was a king in the world he knew. But he comes to you now a captive. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Kong the 8th wonder of the world!

• Ann Darrow : Is this the moving picture ship?

  Carl Denham : Not exactly. It's actually this one over here.

• Carl Denham : Fay's a size four.

  Preston : Yes, she is, but she's doing a picture with RKO.

  Carl Denham : Cooper, huh? I might've known.

• [Carl and Preston sit at a table reading notes; they look up as Hayes enters] 

  Hayes : If someone were to tell you this ship was headed for Singapore... what would you say?

  Lumpy the Cook : [enters holding a wooden carving]  I would say they're full of it, Mr. Hayes.

  [shrugs] 

  Lumpy the Cook : Well, we turned southwest last night.

  Carl Denham : [stands up]  Gentlemen, please. We're not looking for trouble.

  Jimmy : No.

  [enters and faces Carl] 

  Jimmy : You're looking for something else.

  Carl Denham : [nods]  Yes, we are. We're going to find Skull Island. Find it, film it, show it to the world. For 25 cents, you get to see the last blank space on the map.

  Lumpy the Cook : I wouldn't be so sure of that.

  Preston : What do you mean?

  Lumpy the Cook : Seven years ago, me and Mr. Hayes were working our passage on a Norwegian bark.

  Hayes : Picked up a castaway. Found him in the water. He'd been drifting for days.

  Lumpy the Cook : His ship had run aground on an island way west of Sumatra. An island hidden in fog. He spoke of a huge wall built so long ago, no one knew who'd made it. A wall a hundred foot high, as strong today as it was ages ago.

  Preston : Why'd they build the wall?

  [Lumpy and Hayes look to each other] 

  Lumpy the Cook : Well, the castaway, he spoke of a creature neither beast nor man, but something monstrous, living behind that wall.

  Carl Denham : [scoffs]  A lion or a tiger. A man-eater. That's how *all* these stories start.

  Preston : What else did he say?

  Lumpy the Cook : Nothing. We found him the next morning, he'd stuck a knife through his heart.

  Carl Denham : [laughing]  Mmm-hmm. Sorry, fellas. You'll have to do better than that.

  [Preston stands up; he and Carl grab their notes] 

  Carl Denham : Monsters belong in B movies.

  Hayes : If you find this place, if you go ashore with your friends and your cameras... you won't come back. Just as long as you understand that.

  [Carl sighs as he and Preston leave] 

• Carl Denham : I'm real good at crapping the crappers.

• [Carl and Preston are in a taxi] 

  Preston : Red Label, eighty percent proof, to be packed in a crate marked "lemonade."

  Carl Denham : You got it. Tell Maureen she doesn't have six hours to put on her face. If she wants to be in this picture, she's gotta be on that boat.

  Preston : She doesn't wanna *be* in this picture.

  [Carl looks shocked] 

  Preston : Maureen pulled out.

  Carl Denham : She pulled out?

  Preston : *Yesterday*. I told you.

  Carl Denham : You said we were shooting in Singapore, right? That's what you *told* her.

  Preston : Yeah, but we're not shooting in Singapore.

  Carl Denham : God damn it, Preston, all you had to do was look her in the eye and lie. I got to get to a phone, talk to Harlow's people.

  Preston : She's unavailable.

  Carl Denham : Myma Loy? Clara Bow? Mae West?

  Preston : [scoffs]  You'll never get *her* into a size four. You gotta get a girl that'll fit into Maureen's costumes.

  Carl Denham : [sighs, then points at Preston]  Fay's a size four.

  Preston : Yes, she is, but she's doing a picture with RKO.

  Carl Denham : Cooper, huh? I might have known.