The Steve Harvey Show (1996–2002)
Steve Harvey: Steve Hightower
Photos
Quotes
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Steve : Regina, Lovita... you gotta help me with my niece. She just don't act like a normal teenager. She don't talk back, she don't roll her eyes... the poor girl thinks that Snoop Doggy Dog is Charlie Brown's pet!
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Steve : Lemme tell you, I would put hot sauce on my ears and fight Tyson for that girl.
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[to Romeo]
Steve : Boy, you better watch your tone of voice with me! This ain't Michelle Pfeiffer you're talking to.
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[a student has lost weight]
Steve : Damn, girl! You look like Luther two albums ago.
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Steve : Lovita, please. You in the kitchen is like a black man in a horror film - - somebody gonna die!
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[Cedric is dressed in a gold tuxedo]
Steve : Ced, you look like an Oscar from Compton!
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Steve : I haven't seen this much food since I was backstage at an Aretha Franklin concert.
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Bullethead : I'm sorry, my religion does not allow me to work on the sabbath.
Steve : The sabbath, for you, is on a wednesday? Boy, your ignorance is dazzling.
Bullethead : Thank you.
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Steve : Lovita, you want raffle tickets? In English, "no"; In Spanish, "no"; in Russian, "nyet", and in Ebonics, HECK no!
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Steve : You simple crash test dummy.
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[Regina is wearing a neckbrace and walking on crutches]
Steve : Regina, you look like an extra in "E.R.".
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Steve : Ced, when I see that woman, I'm like Shaq doing Shakespeare - I just don't know how to act!
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Steve : This boy thinks that Hamlet is something you order with home fries and toast.
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Steve : Regina, I teach six classes, three different subjects, I got study hall and a room full of teenagers with their hormones just ragin'. Couple of them are hotter than a Porsche in the projects.
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Bullethead : Hey guys, let's get going. I gotta meet my date!
Steve : A date?
Romeo : Yeah. I'm as shocked as you are, Mr. Hightower, but it's true! Bullethead's got a chickenhead!
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Steve : Your checks do more bouncing than Nell Carter on a pogo stick.
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Steve : I'm gonna work you boys harder than a beeper in the projects.
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Steve : [after Regina's failed attempt to stop Romeo from Humiliating Steve, ending up with Regina receiving a Key Lime Pie to the face and Steve is urprised that Regina came up to him] Well, look who's here. Our very own Principal Grier!
Regina : [With pie on her face] I hate you, Steve!
Steve : But I love you though...
[Steve licks his fingers after Regina coughs and starts to wipe the pie filling off]
Steve : That's Key Lime. That's my favorite.