Can you imagine Jackie Chan as the worst student in a martial arts school? I know, it's crazy, but that's the premise of Shaolin Wooden Men. He plays Brother Mute, with a self-explanatory name. He also doesn't smile, so if you find yourself wondering if the sweet, comical fellow from the '90s is actually the same young kid in the mid-'70s, don't feel bad. This is also the last movie he made before getting plastic surgery on his eyes, in case you can't put a finger on exactly what looks so different. Although I completely support self-improvement and self-confidence, it makes me so sad that Jackie felt he wasn't handsome enough and needed "American" eyes. Back in 1976, he was a very good-looking young man, except for the haircut - and everyone had that haircut in the 1970s! There was absolutely nothing wrong with his face.
I'll get off my soapbox. If it made him happy, I'm happy for him. I just hope he didn't have inner pain that plagued him. Back to the actual movie: In Shaolin Wooden Men, Jackie is ridiculed by the other monks-in-training because he's uncoordinated and weak. When he ventures into a forbidden cave, he meets an old prisoner who used to be a great kung fu master; studying from him may be forbidden, but it's the only real chance Jackie has. I love seeing the old-fashioned training sequences ("wax on, wax off") that show intense inner discipline. In one exercise, Jackie transitions from a plank position (on top of wooden posts) to a handstand and does upside down, vertical push-ups. In another, sweat drips off his brow as he balances an enormous boulder on his back while doing (regular, thank goodness) push-ups.
I know old movies from the 1970s aren't everyone's cup of tea. Even if you love Jackie Chan, you might think watching the Police Story series takes you back far enough. But just give one of the oldies a try, either this one or Drunken Master. He's very young and has a completely different style on camera than at the cusp of the millennium. In this movie, you'll get to see the immense treat of watching Jackie battle it out with a dozen wooden men (hence the title) in training. The automatons have weapons and unpredictable flailing limbs, but sticks it out and gives the camera a great show!
