4/10
Pathetic Rim.
27 April 2018
To say that this movie is wrong is to understate it. If I could begin with one positive thing to say about it - it's that the giant robot fights can give Transformers a run for their money. Alas, this is as far as it goes.

Pathetic Rim swipes old characters under the rug, adds the black stormtrooper.... excuse me, getting a deja vu here..., introduces the characters "way" out of proportion(on the Marvel\Transformer level of stupidity, despite this being a damn Del Toro franchise), and barely tries to stay coherent throughout the runtime.

Instead of trying to do what honest sequels "must" do - reconnect with the story and make the viewer feel like they are watching Part Two, Pathetic Rim throws a few expositions, introduces us to an irrelevant situation that has Last Knight written all over it, shows a few scenes that are supposed to be reminiscent of what we've seen in the original. Oh, and, of course, once you see characters randomly reciting the events of the previous movie... you know that the writer has the experience of a first-grader. Not once, not twice, multiple characters will blatantly try to make this movie look like a sequel by laying out that major events of the original.

What is the movie about? Well, let's see... Last time I checked, the Jaeger Program was scrapped. Frankly, for a good reason. And that's before the victory. A few years after - we see numerous Jaegers around the world. Why? As a deterrent? Or to use the resources to build toys instead of rebuilding the damages? Of course, in light of all the Jaegers, there "have" to be places with "decommissioned" Jaegers, just waiting for brave looters to dig in. That's not just Last Knight, this is A Force Awakens rip-off if I ever saw one. But why rip off trash?

Somewhere in that mess of the girl from Last Knight and the ridiculous situation of AFA, we get our black stormtrooper, who is apparently an "already" prodigal son of late Marshall Pentacost - adhering to the nature's call of his race. Seriously. Don't you dare get offended. I am not a director, who put a black protagonist in a position, where he enjoys gangster stuff, looting and thug life. Just pointing it out.

After the aforementioned irrelevant situation - the two protagonists find themselves among the "new generation". Somehow - the whole deal is overseen by China. I understand that they are powerful, but does Europe count for nothing in this world anymore? God forbid they mention Russia, obviously, but, besides the base being located in China, which I could understand, because it's a "Pan Pacific" Defense Force, we also meet a large... that's right... Chinese corporation. And that's not even Last Knight, that's Age of Extinction. I get it, Chinese silicon infrastructure is world-leading, and USA is trying to appeal to them... well, tried to, before Trump... but besides that - they aren't that far ahead. Not in military. Not in machinery. Not in science. Any kind of precision german engineering, at least some Tesla ripoff - fine. But another movie with a large Chinese company building drones? No, thanks.

For a little bit, we are supposed to believe that this corporation is bad, because this is how it goes. Until a rogue Jaeger shows up and tears Gypsy a new one. After that - it's only questions. What was in that Siberian base? Plan B? Why was there only one rogue Jaeger? Why did the antagonist have to be where the plot needed him to be? Why were the Jaegers made out of butter back on the base? Why is the girl suddenly drift-compatible? Why was there the female object for our two protagonists? Why was the head lady suddenly a pilot? And, of course, why was the movie resolved like a deadline? No, not even cliffhanger - deadline. A cliffhanger promises something, this isn't even a promise.

It's not a waste of time, however, it can play ball with Transformers just fine. But it's not Pacific Rim. Del Toro showed us what the genre could do. What Godzilla, Transformers and even others "should" do. In the original, we saw Gypsy Danger smack the kaiju with a freighter, a god damn freighter. That scene alone gave the movie an extra pair. What can Pathetic Rim show us? A plasma cannon that kind of crushes down one skyscapper after another on a kaiju. Even Man of Steel would cringe, and that's saying something.
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