Quotes

My life is an awkward visit from the kids table.

On getting slushied on Đội Hát Trung Học (2009): It felt like I was bitch-slapped by an iceberg.

Nurse Jackie (2009) is my favorite show! Brilliant characters! It makes me laugh so hard, that police come to my door thinking an animal is being abused.

It doesn't matter how old I get, I always act like an excited five year-old kid with severe ADD and a waddle at Disneyland.

Oh, I have this feud going with the L.A. Unified School District, because I keep getting these phone calls saying my daughter keeps missing classes, I mean, at all hours of the night, I had like, two calls this morning and I keep calling saying I haven't got a daughter! I'm 19! I mean, the 90's were a blur but I don't think I was impregnating anyone when I was two. I'm gonna find this girl and get her ass to school!

[about Kristin Chenoweth being on Đội Hát Trung Học (2009)] As soon as she came on, I was like, you know, constantly like, "Oh Hi Kristin! Hi... I'm your biggest fan... We sound exactly alike".

I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall in my GaGa shoes one night on tour and I'm hoping it becomes a Youtube sensation.

Everytime you do a kissing scene, you're probably going to kiss about sixteen o-or eighteen times, because they have to get four, from this angle, four from this angle, four from this angle, four from this angle - I don't know why they're down there - four from this angle...it's never just, once.

I have something called the sea monkey method, and what that is; when I was fourteen, I had sea monkeys, and I forgot to feed them. However, they remained alive for seven months. And what they were doing was eating themselves, and living off of their waste. So my method, or, my theory, is that we could come up with some sort of substance that could, be reused, or, eat itself, if you will. Yeah, it would, better the environment and not leave such a carbon footprint.

I could never rap, personally. I can't even wrap presents.

Đội Hát Trung Học (2009) is about a high school glee club, like a show choir, that umm, needs a little help. They're horrible. Horrible, like, horrible, hor-ri-ble. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Did I mention they're horrible?

The only rumor that there has really ever been about me is that I was killed by a fruit truck.

I'm deaf, I have no voice, I think I lost my virginity out there...

I love me some llamas.

I liked performing "Push It". We were all pregnant after that number.

I started sleep shopping online. Yeah, and these really random packages kept showing up on my door step and I'd open them up and would be so random, like, the complete series of The Carol Burnett Show (1967), and this huge like, life-size poster of Lady Gaga - I don't know why my subconscious wanted that poster.