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johnseegers
Reviews
Fear City (1984)
So Bad It Is Good Department
This is a current offering on Criterion (10/2024). Painfully dated piece that seems to have no idea why it exists. Does do a nice job of showing just what a toilet NYC was in the late 70's and early 80's. Billy Dee Williams delivers some of the worst lines in the history of film so maybe that is a reason to keep watching. Oh, that and ample opportunity for topless dancers too. Story flits around like a demented squirrle and the ending is obvious from the first ten minutes -- BUT -- I kept watching it for the sheer joy of, "it is so bad it is good!" So if you get stuck with two hours with absolutely nothing better to do - have at it.
Les invasions barbares (2003)
Just One Fatal Flaw
This was a Criterion offering the last few months in summer 2024. A nice, sweet natured film. Nothing heavy, nothing over dramatic. A collection of friends and family and the final days of a dying man. Pretty much a fluff piece in many ways but I enjoyed it quite a bit. Certainly a nice looking ensemble of actors! I just can't get past why our compromised, addicted, unrelated, girl was left to euthanize the old man? What a cruel and unnecessary thing to expect her to do. In fact she should be the last one among them to do the deed. Really stop and think about it - are the rest such cowards?????
Beau travail (1999)
Nit Sure What All The Hype Is About
Current offering on Criterion 8/2024. Yeah interesting take on the Billy Budd story I guess. Sure it is beautifully shot but that doesn't seem all that hard to accomplish considering the location and actors. Disjointed story telling, uneven timeline, random scenes with no closure. I'm glad I watched it. I don't see how it is an award winning film. The music score which I understand is taken from an opera of the same name amounts to a few brief minutes of a 90+ minute film. Overall this film left me empty and rather unsure of exactly what it was I saw and what if anything I was supposed to take away from it.
Bronco Bullfrog (1970)
Worth Watching
Currently an offering on Criterion (8/2024). Recent restoration actually produced a rather beautiful piece of film. Non-actors working from a non-script seems to somehow capture the times better than if it had been a carefully crafted story. Almost cinema-virite, almost documentary style most like a collection of home movies from 1970. Or better yet what the world (East end London) would have looked like with YouTube and camera phones in 1970. Seems like something that should be taught in film school which is saying something about a film rescued from a dumpster/bin. This ain't Hollywood and this ain't got no happy ending but that isn't what film is all about.
The Beekeeper (2024)
FUN! What Did You Expect?
Always enjoyable watching Jason Statham do that thing he does. The first 3/4 of this movie is actually quite enjoyable. Had a few laugh out loud moments. Hit the marks. The last 1/4 was a sad comic - comic book farce. Sad to see it go off the rails but ultimately there are worse ways to spend an hour and a forty five minutes inside when it is 98 degrees outside. Yeah nothing special but worth watching if you have nothing better to do. Blah, blah stupid character count BS for IMDB I hate you and you really need to lower the character count. What more needs to be said? Blah, blah stupid character count BS for IMDB I hate you and you really need to lower the character count. What more needs to be said?
Bodkin (2024)
Just Silly Enough To Hold Attention
Light hearted bit of fluff with a dazzling array of characters. Engaging enough plot to keep your interest. More red herrings than a small Irish coastal town! More plot twists than a slinky - some there just to drive content. I wouldn't move it to the top of your "what to watch next" list but keep it on standby for a rainy day. IMDB character count - Light hearted bit of fluff with a dazzling array of characters. Engaging enough plot to keep your interest. More red herrings than a small Irish coastal town! More plot twists than a slinky - some there just to drive content. I wouldn't move it to the top of your "what to watch next" list but keep it on standby for a rainy day.
The File on Thelma Jordon (1949)
Sorry But This Just Doesn't Quite Work
This is a current offering on Criterion 4/2024 in their Peak Noir collection. Somehow even with an all start cast this one just doesn't quite work. It starts off a little like a comedy or a bit of Bogey-Becall banter and then tries to change to traditional noir. They should've stayed with one or the other. I just don't find the characters believable or relatable in their noir roles. Maybe there is "love at first sight" but "love in ten minutes" in this case just doesn't hold up. Seems like a rather dim witted assistant DA to me. Plenty of other choices in the collection so just watch one of those - In A Lonely Place for instance.
Reyka (2021)
South African Keystone Cops
This series would be good if it had: better writers, a coherent plot, better direction, an editor, a continuity minder and knew what it wanted to be. I'm sorry but this just doesn't quite work on any level. Nothing really developed enough to be of interest. The whole Silence of The Cane Fields thing just doesn't cut it. Ridiculous continuity errors. Missing makeup and prosthetics. Night and day in the same the scene. Choppy short edits. Seem likes this could have used about a half year of further development before shooting began. And they actually gave it a second season which I can assure you I won't be watching.
Born to Be Bad (1950)
Nasty Little Creature
This is a current offering on Criterion (4/2024) and I'd say a bit of an overlooked gem. On the surface and within in the dialogue it is painfully tame. But underneath a layer it is a rather bold and edgy bit of work. If you replace the word "love" with "sex" the entire movie takes on a different character. If every fade out is, well, you know, there is quite a bit of it going on here. Christabel appears to like it a little rough and seems to have a thing for shall we say "big men." Or shall we say the bigger man. Nice to see Joan Fontaine playing an evil part - something hard to imagine when you know her from Rebecca.
Sorcerer (1977)
Remake Worth Watching
This is a current offering on Criterion channel as of 4/2024. Was very surprised having just watched another Criterion offering, The Wages Of Fear a few months ago. Sorcerer is a very close remake of Wages and well worth a viewing AFTER watching Wages. Reading a bit about Sorcerer you can really see the misery the cast is going through. Surprising just how close some of the scene shots are between the two films. Despite the famous director, stars and high budget of Sorcerer to be honest I like The Wages of Fear better! Seems like that Sorcerer working title may have been 90% of its trouble ever getting much attention.
Mr. Turner (2014)
Sorry But A Nothin Muffin
Seems like a Turner fanatic who knows all there is to know got enough funding to make a movie. For the rest of us you'll either be left guessing or spending more time on Wikipedia than watching this film. It just doesn't dig into anything deep enough for understanding. It isn't about the man, his art, his passion, his process - nothing. Not even any decent coverage of his artwork! Walked away feeling empty and saddened that in 2.5 hours I learned, well, I learned basically nothing at all about Mr Turner. But damn they did lavish a lot of time and clearly a lot of money on this period piece....
Suspect (2022)
Nonsense
Presented in 8 "24 minute" episodes this was a disappointment on every level. Take away the five minutes of opening credits and five minutes of recap - closing credits and you have 14 minutes - which you will be thankful for since it shortens the length of time you have to watch this garbage. Depressing, silly, ill-plotted, weak dialogue, I could go on. You can skip episode 7 entirely and won't miss a thing - we fast-forwarded through. I'm taking a wild guess that this was probably a victim of the writers strike perhaps? Maybe an AI generated script? Oh and where were the airbags in that late model BMW? And you haven't been able to hot-wire a car since 1973. And what did the horse ever do to anyone?
Unrueh (2022)
Beautiful
This is a current offering on Criterion 3/24. Went in with no expectations and found a unique and beautiful film. I'm guessing historians of the time would find deeper meaning in it all but I found an engaging subtle love story (remember the opening sequence) and some amazing camera work. Settings are all gorgeous and the macro imagery is fantastic. Saddest part of this little gem is the complete lack of information about it anywhere. I'd love to know more but I'm happy just having seen it. Makes one rethink the term anarchist. Thanks Criterion for making this available for viewing for us all.
Good Time (2017)
This Ain't A Hollywood Movie
Current offering on Criterion 2024: This reminds me of something made back in the 60's, 70's or 80's. Panic In Needle Park, Taxi Driver, etc. No Hollywood crap here. The writer/directors deserve credit for making this. Is it a perfect movie - heck no but it is much better than the action hero - comic book drivel getting churned out. Likable, dislikable characters. A few surprising twists and turns. Some very solid acting. If you see it in the Criterion library don't pass it by and you won't be disappointed. Random characters to meet stupid IMDBs count what is wrong with these people. One word can make a review.
Blue Lights (2023)
Surprisingly Good!
In an ocean of similar shows this one is a true stand out. Went in expecting just more of the same old stuff and found something a bit different. A perfect balance of character development, drama, action, etc. Each episode seemed to get a bit better than the last. I actually found myself engaged with the story through the great writing and acting. Saying anymore is unnecessary and might ruin your own experience. Don't miss this little gem. Stupid filler words to meet IMDBs stupid character count nonsense ------ how I wish they would drop this nonsense. You know one word can act as a full review.
Wanda, mein Wunder (2020)
Entertaining But Award Winning?
Must admit I totally fell for the award winning status. Tribeca and Vancouver is pretty impressive. Now I'm trying to figure out how this mildly entertaining film managed to achieve that. Less than engaging characters. Muddled plot. Cows? A story that has been told so many times before. Awkward story telling style - at times I felt confused about time line and reasoning. In the end it seems marketing somehow managed to turn this rather dull story into something you want to see but in the end could have skipped with not missing much. Sorry I wanted to like it and found it entertaining but certainly not a great "award winning" film.
Roter Himmel (2023)
Oh So Close
This is a current offering on Criterion. I saw the "award winning" and was intrigued. For a film not coming out of Hollywood/US it has every fatal flaw of a Hollywood movie. I can't think of a story line more played out than this one. I'm not doing any spoilers so not much more to say. I kept hoping for an ending that came and then when it did it was overridden by what I might think was an add-on. Such a shame. This is a current offering on Criterion. I saw the "award winning" and was intrigued. For a film not coming out of Hollywood/US it has every fatal flaw of a Hollywood movie. I can't think of a story line more played out than this one. I'm not doing any spoilers so not much more to say. I kept hoping for an ending that came and then when it did it was overridden by what I might think was an add-on. Such a shame.
Naked (1993)
What Movies Used To Be
This is currently an offering on Criterion 11/2023. Watching it brings you back to a time when film making was different. This depressing punch to the gut is a masterpiece. Ugly, violent, realistic, sad - yet also clever and at brief moments even funny. Somehow the social commentary even when UK focused seems to hold up well into the 2020's and what that says about our world today might be reason enough to watch this gem. I love watching a movie that leaves me exhausted after seeing it and Naked does just that. Life doesn't follow a Hollywood script and Naked doesn't either. Think you appreciate film? Watch this to see how it is done.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Will It Ever End?
Sort of enjoyed the first half. Never made it to the ending since I think it may still be going in some alternative universe. Seriously I think this ran a good half an hour past what I assumed was an ending. As others mention it just becomes sensory overload. Interesting sci-fi plot with engaging actors but beyond that this is a pretty dull movie with little to nothing to recommend it. Endless and I mean endless CGI fight scenes - felt like I was watching another super-hero POS. How stuff like the wins an award is beyond me. Best movie of the year? Guess that doesn't say much for what else was out there!
The Killer (2023)
Kill Me So I Don't Have To Watch Anymore
Boring, insipid, dull, sleep inducing, silly. His mantra doesn't fit the story. No idea who is who or how they fit in the story. Man fails to do his job and then gets pissed off when held accountable? I think the only thing positive about this snooze-fest is that It did not have a car chase for which I was very thankful. Oh wait - maybe this is what happens when we let AI write a story? Boring, insipid, dull, sleep inducing, silly. His mantra doesn't fit the story. No idea who is who or how they fit in the story. Man fails to do his job and then gets pissed off when held accountable? I think the only thing positive about this snooze-fest is that It did not have a car chase for which I was very thankful. Oh wait - maybe this is what happens when we let AI write a story?
Who Is Erin Carter? (2023)
Fun!
Engaging characters. Manages to keep the mystery of "who is" going long enough to be entertaining. Wonderful cast that seems to be enjoying what they are doing. Well worth watching. Sadly it kind of falls apart for an episode or two when Erin moves from an interesting tough-chick to an action-hero. It is a shame they couldn't have kept it between the lines and based even loosely of reality/plausibility. Yeah silly stuff but certainly every bit as entertaining as 90% of the other stuff out there these days. Nice to see a power female lead! Blah blah blah stupid word count nonsense I hate you IMDB.
Deadloch (2023)
Such A Shame
What a missed opportunity. This could have been a real gem with potential for an engaging series. Instead we have our likable main character and then an endless cast of over-acting over-the-top cookie cutter characters. Made it through 1.5 episodes and gave it up. Superior, boss, whatever - anyone would have hauled off and punched that "detective" within the first 20 minutes of her arrival. Someone described this series as Brokenwood as comedy? I think a better description would be Brokenwood with a lobotomy. Random stuff to meet IMDBs stupid character count here and more blah, blah, blah - --.
Heart of Stone (2023)
Dear Netflix
Dear Netflix, In their heart every single man on planet Earth from age 5 to 75 secretly wants to be James Bond. That is an audience of 3.5 billion with a b people. However, even in our modern world of gender fluidity and gender norm shift I'd guess that at any given moment there may be a hundred million girls/women that secretly want to be an ass kicking crime fighter/super hero. You know the old saying, "know your audience?" Anyway - Heart of Stone is empty, dimwitted, CGI filled tripe. Idiotic plot. Tepid writing. Total waste of time. 40,000 bullets and not one hit. Endless fight scenes from which our hero recovers in three minutes time. Good vs. Evil nonsense. When will the studio execs figure out the genre has no future? The Long Kiss Goodnight was 27 years ago and that, although quite enjoyable, barely held together.
Hijack (2023)
Ultimately A Bit Boring And Beyond Silly
Sorry but this just didn't work for me. Cookie cutter characters. Silly to stupid plot - subplots. Way, way too long - could have wrapped it all up in ninety minutes. To explain more about why this attempt at a thriller falls short would be to ruin one of the many, many, many plot twists all of which seem created to help the writers out of a corner. Weird how this is out around the same time as Good Omens 2. On one streaming service you have brilliant, fresh, creative writing. On another you have dull, stale, reused garbage. Random BS to meet IMDBs stupid character count, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Vanskabte land (2022)
Unexpected
This is a current offering on Criterion 6/2023. Looked interesting so I gave it a try. Glad I did. No way to say much more without ruining it. Beautiful in its own way. No Hollywood garbage. Surprising moments. Leaves unanswered questions. Haunting is a good word. Now I'll just type random nonsense to fill up IMDBs stupid character count. Oh no wait I'll tell you the entire plot including spoilers thinking that is what makes a review. What the heck is wrong with people? A review isn't a retelling of the movie's plot. A review is about what the movie made you feel and think. IMDB should have a new policy, no emotion no review!