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Vanquish (2021)
So utterly bad
Sometimes movies are bad, but they are so bad its at least laughable & entertaining.
Other movies are bad but they have some redeeming aspects.
This isn't the case with this at all. Not even Morgan Freeman could provide any saving grace to this atrocity of film.
Ruby Rose has made everyone, once again, question how on earth she ever got roles in Holly wood films; let alone SO MANY movies in the ast few years.
Everything she has ever been in she undoubtedly makes worse simply by her lack of acting skills & mere presence.
Samson (2018)
Pathetic
The Biblical story of Samson is one of the most epic stories found in all of the Bible. A real life Hercules with ultra human strength with only one weakness; his hair. It must never be cut. Insert diabolical woman only surpassed by Jezebel in Biblical tales; named Delilah .
Only with this information alone you would think someone could create a truly badass movie. However, its almost as if they actively tried to make this movie terrible. The CGI, the action, the acting, the plotline, and anything else you can think of was just atrocious.
I have seen better made for TV renditions of the story of Samson.
Avoid this like you would a Biblical plague.
Garroter (2016)
Complete Overrated Garbage
Based on the reviews on imdb, I went into this expecting something great...or at least watchable.
Unfortunately what I ended up watching was just utterly attrocious.
The acting was almost laughably bad, the camera work was nausea inducing, and the plot line was moronic.
Imho it seems impossible to me that anyone rated this 10 stars....unless they directly worked on the movie and are just trying to get people to watch it.
Avoid this like the plague.
Utopia (2020)
One of the Most Interesting & Unique Things I've ever Seen
I went into Utopia without knowing the slightest bit about it.
I had never heard of or seen the bbc show & threw it on a whim
The first 2 episodes had me rather confused; but as it all started to come together a bit I really enjoyed myself. The plot line and the twists are absolutely one of a kind.
I really, really hope there is a season 2 as this was the most enjoyable series I've watched in ages.
Follow Me (2020)
Characters written like Youtube Stars Makes for a Entertaining Watch
This ended up being a lot better than I anticipated.
The Characters are written quite well, and the story is well paced & interesting..
The Main two characters resembled Pewdiepie & Marzia imho.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)
Party End.
I wanted to love this, I realy did.
However I could only barely manage to tolerate it
I will say, if you cam somehow make it past the first 30 to 40 minutes then it DOES manage to get marginally interesting. But good grief, the first 30 min at least is just atrocious. Overall the script is really predictable and very little if any thought has gone into it.
The fun and joy that went into the first two films is completely gone.
I absolutely love Samara Weaving but not even she could bring any life to the two daughters of Bill & Ted.
Rufus' daughter was like a much less entertaining version of Flo from the commercials for Progressive; and I find Flo to be completely the opposite of humourous; so that should tell you something.
Bill & Ted really never provided any laughs throughout the film & the ones I did have had nothing to do with them.
If it wasn't for the ridiculously small amount of films this year I'd probably hate this even more than I did; but since it was one o the few i did enjoy it somewhat.
That being said, I'd still never be able to give it higher than 3 out of 10.
This was garbage.
The New Mutants (2020)
The New X-Men!
I Remember a few years ago when the "New Mutants" was being advertisedas the new X-men for the new generation .
Good Grief, this wasn't that.
I have to be honest here: from the first second to the last second this was just sub-par.
It began with a quote we'e heard 1000x before beginning with Sitting Bull & most recently with Tomorrowland...and Idc if you replace wolf with a bear or not its still just as Cringey...in fact 100x more so...
Then it just progressed into pure teen agnst nonsense & terrible CGI & effects.
Ended with a lackluster & totally anticlimactic ending.
Good God. This was JUST AWFUL.
Maybe it it was the Online Streaming super hero shoes like Titans or Umrella Academy or Runaways that made me expect more from this but this was bar none the worst super hero movie or series Ive ever seen.
Yes I am including the original 1994 Fantasic Four.
Wizards (2020)
Highly Overrate
I randomly came across this and saw the high ratings so thought I'd be in for a treat.
What a let down this was.
The characters are all completely unlikable. The animation style is very jarring and hard to watch. The action scenes are very poorly done & bordering on ridiculous while not actually being humorous.
If I could rate this a 0 I would.
Human Capital (2019)
Next up on Lifetime Movies....
Good grief...can we stop with the fake reviews?
This is currently a 8.1 on IMDB. There is no logical way anyone could possibly think this was even a 4 Star movie...
Completely boring, no climaxes, just blahhhhhh the entire time.
It's like watching kids go around on a merry go round. Just blahhhh all the way around while the little children or mentally incapacitated go weeee!
I wouldn't watch this again if you paid me $500.00
To Your Last Death (2019)
Garbage.
A animation that wants to be like Archer without any of the actual humor.
Very, very bad. Huge fan of Anime & this is just...horrible.
Hot Ones: The Game Show (2020)
Just...terrible
I'm a huge fan of Hot Ones.
But....this just is awful. From the presentation to the questions to the entire gimmick...its just totally cringe worthy.
And the 'guests' or 'players' ..ridiculously annoying.
Watched 2 episodes; have no interest in ever watching another.
Guns Akimbo (2019)
Epic Wild Ride
Holy CRAP! This was AMAZING!
The action was absolutely epic, reminded me of the insanity of Crank, mixed with the action of John Wick, the dark humor of Deadpool, and the plot from the TV Series Chosen
I went into it expecting nothing at all... and oh my gosh. This was the best movie Ive seen in quite some time. Highly, highly entertaining.
My one & only complaint was the tattooed guy; he was a bit much.
Other than that, I loved it.
10/10 stars
Verotika (2019)
D Movie Garbage
I have 0 doubt in my mind the '10 star reviews' are from people involved with this movie in some way. There is no way any person on earth enjoyed this movie; let alone thought it was a 10 star film.
The acting is utterly atrocious, the 'special efx' highlight was a guy in a rubber suit, the lines oh my gosh the lines. It is some of the worst drivel Ive ever heard. And its not one of those movies so bad you laugh; its just BAD.
Ne Zha zhi mo tong jiang shi (2019)
Overrated Garbage...
I read the overwhelming positive reviews here, and thought oh boy; Im in for a treat! What a absolute let down.
The artistic designs for the characters was utterly atrocious. The CGI overall was just...not good. The storyline was boring. The voice acting was bad. I really just have nothing positive to say about htis, and I am truly baffled how anyone would.
Hunters (2020)
Simply Put: Impossible to Enjoy
Tries to do too much. After a promising first episode, it rather fell apart. It wants to be a serious look at the atrocities of WWII & Concentration Camps; constantly showcasing them; and then jumping to (at times wacky) ultra violent Jewish revenge. It just doesn't mesh well at all.
It's really hard to get any enjoyment, at least for me.
The main reason for this is, as mentioned above, their constant showing of the camps & what terrible things happened to people there. While the specific tales in the show (probably) are fictional; millions of people really did die there, maybe not in those exact ways; but certainly in a plethora of unimaginable other terrible ways.
Then it wants to jump back to present day & I'm supposed to just enjoy FURTHER scenes of torture &violence (no matter how deserving it may be?)
It's just hard to watch. Like if someone spliced Schindler's List and IG together. Just no.
Maybe I'll try it again some other day; but for now: DROPPED.
The Irishman (2019)
Missed the Mark
I wanted this to be good I really did.
Scorsese Pesci De Niro how can you go wrong...right?
Well...it sure managed to find a way.
Pesci and DeNiro really show their age in this film and they just don't act like they used to. They just seem like old men regurgitating their lines which is sad since they were always two of my favorite actorsm
This movie is very highly overrated with a subpar plot and very very subpar acting
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
First Star Wars film I actually fell asleep during.
At 7 Stars I'd still say this is quite overrated.
The film was really...really bad. Some of the fights were half way decent; but the dialog was so bad. I've always found the Star Wars films to be very interesting, and they have always held my attention...until this.
About 1 hour in I had to go smoke a cig & grab some jalapeno peppers from concession in a futile attempt to keep myself awake.
Somewhere around 1 hour & 45 minutes in I failed in my attempt and zonked out; only for my brother to wake me a few minutes before the end battle.
I've never once fallen asleep during a Star Wars film. As a kid, I saw the prequels multiple times in theaters; and have watched the original epic trilogy a ridiculous amount of times.
I LOVE these films. That truly should tell you how garbage this was.
I didn't care about any of the characters, there was nothing even remotely interesting about the storyline. It was convoluted garbage; with so many stupid conversations that had nothing to do with anything. The movie could have been over in a hour or less.
The "surprises" were no surprise at all.
There is one giant positive about these sequels.
They made people realize the prequels were actually pretty darn good; and that's a impressive feat. This was just that bad.
Patient Zero (2018)
A Lot Better than What You'd Think
Okay, Listen and listen well.
This was actually pretty good!
At the time of this review this film has like a 3 Star Rating on IMDB.
When you say 3 Star Zombie movie..you think of terrible acting, terrible special effects, horribly acted/costumed zombies, and so on...this film literally has NONE of that.
The zombies are well done.
The acting is really quite good, and it has a few recognizable faces.
The plot is somewhat interesting; but that's where things get a bit hazy.
The film takes a bit to 'get going' and once it finally does, it really never goes much of anywhere with the info you are given.
The vast majority of the film takes place in only a few rooms; and that's what drives a lot of people away.
Its certainly a unique take on the zombie genre. It was well acted & designed; just not well received.
Give it a shot; you'll probably like it a lot more than you'd expect.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
What a Huge Disappointment
This was, bar none, the worst film of the franchise.
Very little time was spent on the actual dinosaurs. There were more 'fighting' action sequences with Chris Pratt than actual dinosaur mayhem.
The entire plotline was a absolute joke. All the characters were ridiculously one dimensional; with several of them serving no purpose whatsoever.
The subplotline with the little girl was atrocious and had absolutely no place in a Jurassic Park film.
The scenes with "Malcolm" were 100% pointless and only served to add his name to the credits.
There was literally not one thing enjoyable about this movie; which is incredibly sad. I've loved the entire franchise; but this felt like the end to me.
I have no interest in seeing a follow up sequel to this; if they do any more Jurassic movies they need to totally scrap this plotline and start fresh.
The Campus (2018)
Complete Garbage
IMDB Really needs to crack down on these fake scores; obviously rated by the cast and crew of this completely garbage movie.
The effects arent the worst thing in the world; but the acting is absolutely atrocious. Its so bad it makes lifetime or scyfy asylum movies look oscar worthy.
The storyline is a complete joke; absolutely nothing original.
But its the acting that you just cant get passed.
No person in their right mind would ever rate this above a 2. It is truly that bad.
Dont waste your time or your money watching this trash.
Blood Father (2016)
Excellent from Start to Finish
Mel Gibson's new film Blood Father came out of left field, for me. I had heard nothing of its production nor seen any previews. I watched it today, and was so very pleasantly surprised.
The movie follows a pretty basic action movie premise, but tackles some themes you usually don't find in these types of movies. Everything from teen runaways, substance abuse addiction and recovery, suicidal thoughts, and so much more was covered; and despite the wide range of serious issues covered; it never felt bogged down or full of itself.
I'd recommend this to any Mel Gibson for sure; as he does a great job in his portrayal of this character. My only real complaints was with the Sicario, it seems idiotic to have a guy with a face tattoo as a Sicario. They are supposed to be ghosts not someone with a feature that anyone would remember if they ever laid eyes on him. But that's of course very minor, and in no way took away from the overall enjoyment of the film.
9/10 Stars
Suburra (2015)
Pretentious Artistic Film with Mafioso Elements
The entire film is nothing but artistic scenes of very, very gratuitous sex, violence, and drug use. It more focused on the disgusting world of dirty politicians than it did with any sort of mafioso element. Nearly every scene was highlighted by modern electrica by M83, the film literally had 12 songs by them. So of a 130 minute run time approximately 100 minutes of it had loud techno playing. Felt like I was watching a music video and not a movie. I wouldn't recommend this. What little dialog existed was pretty decent, but there was just not enough substance in the film to convey much of anything. The first 25 minutes or so had around 30 words spoken, the rest was nothing but hardcore sex bordering on pornography. I am very baffled at the high reviews this is getting. I understand 'artsy types' enjoying this, but to anyone with opinions based in reality will find this disgusting. 1/10 stars.
True Story (2015)
Listen in and Listen Well!
True Story, I once watched this movie with Jonah Hill and James Franco that I thought would be more of the same old trash, and Boy oh boy was I wrong!
Jonah Hill comes with all of his Oscar glory and truly brings a star worthy picture to my small screen. I decided to rent this film, spur of the moment, on my Comcast On Demand; thinking I'd get a bit of the same old comedy nonsense from Franco and crew. However, this film went above and beyond anything I could have possibly expected.
Hill is very reminiscent of his role in Moneyball; as the somewhat nerdy but lovable 'smarty pants', and He plays it even better than he did in his previous role. Franco shines brighter than I've ever seen him shine before as a murderer posing as Hill's on screen New York Times Reporter persona.
This is easily the best film Franco has ever taken part in; and it does a wonderful job of blotting out any smudge that his kill Kim film placed on his career.
Highly recommended to anyone and everyone, and as those who follow me know; I don't give out praise like this without reason.
Watch!
Intruders (2014)
First Two Episodes are Excellent in All Aspects
This review has been written after watching two episodes of the new BBC series Intruders. I will update it after watching more. The show starts off leaving the characters and the viewers pretty much at a loss in what is going on around them. But, as you start to learn more about the characters and what is going on around them; you really get a good understanding of the crazy world they live in. It is a somewhat unique idea. The only other thing I can think of that is similar is the film Fallen with Denzel Washington; with enough differences to keep it very interesting. The main actor, also seen earlier this year in the BBC mini-series Prey, does a wonderful job of playing his part. The main protagonists, at least thus far, are a little girl and a 'rogue' FBI agent; and both also play their parts spectacularly. This is definitely one to watch. Not your average turn off your brain and zone out; but it seems to be a real thinker.
I highly recommend it for those who enjoy scifi / action type shows. The sense of bewilderment reminds me of the hit show Lost, and this promises to be everything that "The Leftovers" is not.
Blended (2014)
Beautiful and Hilarious Family Comedy
This was so much better than I thought it would be. So much fun, beautiful scenery, lots of great character interaction, and of course many hilarious antics. I adore Wedding Singer + 50 First Dates, and Barrymore + Sandler did it again this time. A lot of people dislike Sandler, but I think he's the comedic genius of our generation. He's currently the only one that can blend hilarious comedy with tear jerking premises to give a nice blend of happiness and sadness. Sure, he has his slapstick comedies like Happy Gilmore, Waterboy, Billy Madison, etc; but he truly shines in these 'more than meets the eye' comedies like Big Daddy, Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, etc. Reminds me of the beautiful comedies of yesteryear like Father of the Bride. 9/10 stars. Great watch from start to finish.