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Wynonna Earp: Vengeance (2024)
Wynonna Burp: Dullgence
Ok this movie sucks on every level:
Acting is second rate!
Special effects C minus level!
Story is mediocre and just all over the place.
Diversity is alive and kicking too in this film because thats all these movie makers care about these days in ticking the boxes!
Gather this is a spin off from a great rated series so how did it end up in this postition as being one of the worst movies of 2024.
The worst scene is the lead male character happens to kill 5 guys with one shot so yeah go figure how bad this movie is in terms of realism of gun handling.
I found the whole story rather dull and the amount of crying in the movie could fill my bath up four times over.
How did people give this 9 or 10 just goes to show how much infulence these movie companies have in pushing their staff to come on these sites to push a false narrative.
Here After (2024)
Complacency for deaf people in movies!
This movie opens up about a deaf child trying to have a normal life like the rest of us.
But what we do get is a deaf child actress who can play a piano, looks away from other actors in scenes when they are interacting plus she goes to a normal school not a deaf school.
The character gets injured obvioulsy riding a bike on a main road obviously because she can't hear traffic so it beggars belief that any parent would allow their deaf child to do so but hey this is a movie right?
Basically the character comes back from the dead because after 20 min of no oxygene to the brain she should be a vegetable right?
The film is frustrating to watch due to the common inaccuracies of someone portraying a deaf character. Strangely after the accident she can now hear and talk because a good serious accident can cure deafness problems right?
As for the horror it was mediocre at best and there was nothing suspensful with regards to the direction of the movie.
Its the usual Catholic religion in a Catholic country where religion is used as an example off fighting evil.
By the way the young girls piano playing gets worst if that makes any difference and she also has a morbid outlook like you do by knocking off birds with your bare hands.
I gave this film 1/10 due to the stupidity of getting a deaf character so wrong it beggars belief.
Wide Awake (1998)
Wide Awake will put you into a deep coma!
Ok this movie was made when Rosie O'Donnell was large in size and still painfully unfunny.
I gather Harvey Weinstein wasn't happy with the movie and cut tons of material out of the movie which makes me think why release the movie at all because the cuts he did make couldn't save this thanks giving turkey.
Its a wet fart sentimental story about a boy who goes to a catholic school where it makes nuns wear baseball caps instead of habits which doesn't get addressed through out the movie.
The film is basically ripping off the wonder years TV show in a boy point of view with flashbacks.
Trust me this is a bad movie and very boring when a boy goes on the search for God of all things.
Wide Awake is more like a movie that will put you into a coma by the end so you have been warned folfs!
HauntedWeen (1991)
B Movie with an A plus Review!
OK just came across this gem of a movie and it has B level oozing all the way through it. I have given it a high rated because it's funny and the killings are great in entertainment wise.
The movie is basically your normal run of the mill in horror with dumb horny college kids looking to earn a few bucks for their sorority.
So throw in a deranged former house owner who gives the frat pack a free reign to do a house of horror evening which you know will end in disaster.
Acting is awful which gives the movie the B vibes level but you know some were not real actors just people they used I gather to make the film.
I really enjoyed this horror comedy and deserves a bit more recognition of exposure!
Warlock Moon (1973)
Warlock Amok Plop!
OK no spoilers due to the fact the film doesn't have any from start to finish!
B-movie I would call it a Z-movie dud in truth.
They must have filmed this on someone 35mm home camera as pic quality is poor and the sound is terrible too.
The whole premise is based on two people who have zero sexual chemistry and are so dull in character wise you wonder why they bothered?
The man ideal date is a rundown mansion where an old lady who looks past the age of 90 is suppose to be living there but who are they kidding right?
Overall you can imagine the date doesn't go well and the poor acting can not make this seem believable.
The soundtrack sounds like creeping floorbaords being bashed together and doesn't fit well with the scenes at all.
Don't waste your time on watching this plop of a movie because its over an hour you wont be getting back!
1/10 Avoid like the plague!
Man About the House (1973)
Best 1970's UK Comedy Ever Made!
OK I am writing this review for the love & respect I have for this very funny Thames TV 1970's show.
The actors playing the characters are just fantastic in the roles given to them.
The writing is superb from Cooke and Mortimer is flawless where every episode is golden in being funny.
It amazes me that this show is still funny in 2024 after re-watching every episode again.
The story of one man sharing a flat with two gorgeous looking women is TV gold and then adding a married couple being their landlords downstairs who are at each others throats is just hilarious.
If you unsure or not if you want to watch this show for the first time then do so because you will love it.
The show had a movie spin off which was great but not as good as the TV show of course.
After the show ended it got two spin offs being Robin Nest & George & Mildred which are both really good so check them out too.
10/10 because this show was a hit for ITV in the 1970's for a reason, it was funny, that simple!
Under the Boardwalk (1988)
One of the 80's massive movie bombs!
I wonder if Sonny Bono last thoughts before he hit that tree in the snow was that my last movie would be this stinker on massive proportions. Did Sonny get paid a lot to star in this movie or did he do it as a favour for one of the producers maybe?
Getting back to this lackluster production of a stinker it must have been written as a story plot in less than a day. There really isn't much to give away because the only drama in the whole movie was when the gang bag gets washed out by the waves while a couple are having sexy time.
Seriously the scenes seem rushed and the actors look bored as well as embarrassed just dishing out their lines. One whole fight scene and guess what the Juliet of the movie saves her Romeo so yeah go figure!
Avoid this movie like the tree Sonny Bono should have avoided.
Timebomb (1991)
Timebomb Needs Defusing In Confusing Plot Hole Mania!
OK Michael Biehn is a fab actor and does his best regardless of the material he is given.
Patsy Kensit acting is dire and so wooden I was embarrassed for her watching this half pile of plop. The sex scene wit Biehn was also terrible and if I made love like that I would be single for the rest of my life.
The two main characters had zero chemistry and in truth like to have seen Tracy Scoggins been the love interest in terms of scope than the awful Patsy Kensit.
Movie has heaps of plot holes and some of it makes zero sense on how a secret organisation could produce such an army is mind boggling.
The 5 score goes to the great Michael Biehn and oh Patsy Kensit big knockers in the bedroom department.
Damaged (2024)
Bore Fest Murder Who Done-It!
Two leading Hollywood actors couldn't save this dud of a movie.
Slow paced movie to start off with and plot holes galore in truth.
John Hannah makes a good creepy Tommy tank weirdo who carries the role of red herring.
Vincent Cassel looks completely bored in this role and he has every right to be because the script is rather weak in terms of delivery.
How hard would it have taken too work out the killer who spent time in Chicago killing and then Scotland? Easy to trace a suspect with international pedigree but the writers ignore all this.
Samuel Jackson is a great actor but he is given little dialogue or any real effort to show his talent in this movie sadly.
Your be better watching an old mystery who done it movie made years ago than watching this pile of cow dung.
Nowhere to Land (2000)
Plane Disaster Bore Fest!
Ok it's a TV movie and yeah it's done on a budget especially as they have used stock clips from better plane disaster movies.
First of all no way the security would have allowed that ornament on the plane with all that wiring in the case so already the B. S meter is alive and kicking.
Acting is rather wooden with some of the characters and in truth it's a case of nobody cares with regards to each character as zero character development.
I was wishing the whole plane would crash killing them all as they were all stupid and as interesting as paint drying on the wall.
The would be nerve gas terrorist was just so dull it made me switch off constantly.
Is this worth your watch?
No is the answer and how people gave this high numbers of rating beggars belief but trust me when I tell you this * Films Sucks Goats Balls*
White Coats (2004)
The Best Medicine Is To Give This Movie & Miss
So this movie flopped at the cinema and the guy that made this awful unfunny comedy blamed the distributor on only spending $250,000 on promoting the film.
I have another theory it was because the movie just wasn't funny and even when it tried to be funny it just wasn't.
Dan Ackroyd was wasted completely in this movie and I am surprised he agreed to star in it after reading the script because it lacked any funny lines.
The biggest fail was having no real famous other actors to take on the roles of the medical staff. The so called actors were rather wooden and lacked any comedic skill.
The best bit for me was the end credits as I knew my pain of watching this crass movie was over for good.
Avoid like the plague or of your life counted on it.
Roadkill (2024)
Don't be fooled by high scorings this film sucks!
What do you get when you hire a Keanu Reeves look a like and a poundland Megan Fox? A film that sucks goats balls on a huge scale. Not based on the best hitch hiking movie ever the hitchiker of course so this is not even on the same level.
Dialogue which was written by a 5 year old and the most dire of acting on so many levels.
Not going to give any spoilers away because if you read my review you wont watch this movie and you will avoid at any costs.
Unsure why people finance these kind of films because you know your going to get your fingers burnt by a true critic and not one employed by the company churing this rubbish out.
Gave it 1 because there is no zero which sucks like this movie so go figure!
Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road (2023)
A Real Turkey Of An Episode!
OK been a Doctor Who fan since the 1970's so yea I am getting old but not wise with regards to watching New Who. I found the start as a major rush with so many plot holes it could out do pot holes with have in our roads in the UK.
This was the worst episode for viewership for a new Doctor. Why you may ask? Well the 60th specials was trash and just awful story telling in Who history. So now it's a snowball effect where fans as well as non fans are turning off watching the show in its droves.
Back to the episode in question it was a real turkey for acting and CGI as well. The only out standing actor is Millie Gibson who could act her socks off when needed too. As Ncuti Gatwa he didn't shine like I hope he would because the writer R. T. D made him so camp in queer it was just embarrassing to say the least.
Nothing Sci-Fi but more fantasy tripe which doesn't bode well with the true fans of the show.
I'm giving this 2/10 for Millie Gibson acting abilities and nothing else was special at all in truth.
The new season 1 as it's called when in fact it's season 14 so go figure on that one on how much infulence Disney has control over the show now. R. T. D could write much better than the turkey episodes we have had so far but not holding much hope this for show going forward as there will be a massive trend of people desserting this once great show!
The Black Room (1982)
Sexy time in The Black Room!
OK the movie beginning sequence starts of with some sexy time which sets the movie up on what is to come forward in terms of shock horror! The main lead character Larry is so horny I am surprsied he doesn't carry a box of tissues round with him. Anyway Larry wants the room to fullfill his lusts of banging hot chicks! So basically to cut a long story short the owners are serial killers who just enjoy killing their tenants and why not? OK the overall ark of story is kinda dumb and makes little sense to normality but hey it's a cheap horror flick! Is this worth your time? Yes in truth as it's an 80's flick and you can never go wrong with an 80's horror flick. Gave it 5 as the music is naff and the dialogue isn't great but what the hell it's worth the entertainment in sexy time value!
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Boring Sci-Fi Soap Opera!
OK where do you start with this Sci-Fi bore fest?
First of all has Charlie Hunnam ever made a good movie? Everyone this guy stars in are flops or just nothing to write home about. Any movie starring this actor should be warned of the Hunnam curse of your movie bombing from great heights. Is he a bad actor? Not really but he isn't good at picking films as most turn out to be turkeys.
The critics were correct for once avout this pile of plop it is very boring in dialogue with terrible slow motion zoom in and out frames making it hard to watch at times.
Overall I could write an whole essay about why this movie sucks but I can't be bothered.
If you suffer with insomina watch this movie and it will soon send you into a coma.
Part 2 will be like part 1 as it is a Zak Snyder movie so yeah go figure.
2/10 for some of the CGI and nothing else in truth!
Your Christmas or Mine 2 (2023)
A Sequel With Zero Substance!
Ok where do I start with this dull sequel to a movie which is lacking any decent story telling in the process?
Right the two main love characters have zero chemistry in terms of connection. They both looked bored in terms of the awful dialogue they are given but there is just no spark between them for the whole movie length.
The other side characters are just wasted in terms of development.
It was an lacksture affair with a script from the 1970's comedy genre of that time.
Personally I am at a lost why they made a sequel as the original wasn't much to write home about in truth.
If your at a loose end watch something else on a Xmas movie list as this movie is just a pile of Donkey dung!
Christmas at the Chalet (2023)
Unbelivable boring romp!
Xmas can be the time of giving as well as recieving well I am going to have to call out humbug on this lackluster affair. OK the two main protagonists are as dull as dish water who have got zero chemsitry on screen.
Terri Hatcher looks way to old to be the mother of her son in the movie which they also have zero chemistry in mother and son status.
There is the most annoying kid child I have seen in a movie for sometime and oh my she grates on me I just want to punch the screen.
Getting back to the naff story of Terri working like a slave so she can have a room to stay in the hotel which makes no sense as she can go anywhere to get a hotel stay in the area so why make yourself a slave to the trade?
Over acting and dumb sub plots make this romp of a movie a huge snooze fest.
If there is any positives Terri Hatcher facelift is looking good amongst the silver screen and that's about it.
3/10 Avoid like the plague!
Slay Belles (2018)
I Hate This Movie With A Passion!
OK lets cut to the chase and I will explain why this turd fest of a movie has got 1/10.
Bad acting to start off with where the characters are so wooden it makes wooden coffins look interesting.
Camera, sound and special effects are bottom standards of Z movie grading.
Story not fit for purpose or any logical sense? Seriously a 5 year old could have had a better imagination of writing a better script than this festive turkey.
The 1 star it got was for the main monster effect which the budget must of been spent on because it deft wasn't on getting decent actors.
The dumbest scene was when the old man cowboy took the monster down with his stick to let the girls escape.
I hate this movie with such a passion it makes Christmas Vacation 2 look like a masterpiece. I hate Chrsitmas Vacation 2 with all my strength but Slay Belles is worst so go figure!
Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure (2003)
Vacation title that doesn't deserve the honour!
God I am so damn angry watching a movie based on a great comedy series which starred the great Chevy Chase.
What did we get for this turkey of a movie!
Poor script which must have been completed on a toilet number 2 dump.
Audrey is over acted by the original actress from the series franchise. Still what could she do with the naff dialogue she was given.
Sexist sterotyping towards the Asian actress in the movie which made me cringe.
This was suppose to be a Xmas movie but felt more like a summer holiday movie which defeats the object for me as it started off with snow but it soon moved on to a hot location!
Overall I wanted to smash my fist through the TV screen because of the abomination of this dud of a movie made me feel.
Seriously this movie sucks and anyone says different then you must be mentally challenged like Eddie the character from the film.
Letters to Satan Claus (2020)
Not very impressive for a comedy horror!
Once you seen a movie in this genre you will realise they all suck in terms of quality as well as direction. I have seen worst quality movies of this low level so take my feedback as well as my scoring as acceptable for the movie in question.
Just wanted to add that I have never seen so many unattractive women iin one movie so lost more points just on that factor.
Overall if you fancy a Xmas horror movie based on what has come before as well as after then this movie might be for you.
Gather Covid couldn't stop this movie from going forward so it was meant to be in terms of general release.
5/10.
97 Minutes (2023)
Poor man's plane adventure!
Want to see poor CGI in a movie? Want see a movie where a man killed by a stewardess trolley? Want to see a move full off over acting? Well 97 min is the film no one wanted or asked for. Imagine another movie filled with terrorists hyjacking a plane so that they can all die on leaving just one man who turns out to be the only actor in the movie who can act. This movie is on a B level in terms of budget as well as actors including Alec Baldwin who can only attract these kind of movies due to his previous movie actions. Overall it's just a movie you have seen before but done much better in terms of quality. My advice is don't bother it sucks!
War of the Worlds: The Attack (2023)
The worst adaptation of War of the Worlds
Sweet baby Jesus this movie of the beloved War of the Worlds is so poor I ended up laughing my socks off. A serious movie was undone by poor acting, poor special effects, poor script. Starts off with an attack of the aliens but our would be three main leads were stuck in a house for the first 24 hours while the earth was being attacked. Then a soldier entered their backgarden claiming he had lost his unit to the evil aliens. But there was no houses or flats destroyed on their travels to Leatherhead of all places in Surrey, just comical. Then they get a £5 boat on some river courtesy of the soldier they saved because he has clout in the army. Then they meet the worst plastic priest not seen since the walking dead as the prophet of doom. As the film goes on the comic level rises due to more poor special effects made from a $30 dollar software application. Seriously this is way the worst adaptation of a great story. Remember no houses, flats or humans hurt in the making of this woeful movie.
Infidelity Can Be Fatal (2023)
Watching this movie can be fatal.
OK this is a lifetime movie so I am guessing that they make movies for people who don't care about plot holes, poor acting or even just a pointless story altogether? This movie had some good feedback so I thought take the plunge and have some faith that the reviews were not fake? Well judging by what I have watched those reviews were not entierly very honest. The whole plot is ludicrous from start to finish you do wonder if anyone kept a straight face while reading their scripts to this monstrosity of a TV movie. The leading character is a typical dumb blonde stereotype doing exactly the opposite to what they preach. One dimensional cardboard character who loves to punch the crap out of her boxing sparring trainer while in the next scene being scared whitless carrying a baseball bat. So it's a very condradicting cliche character. The whole movie is based on trust issues and that's about it. There is one huge plot hole where the main character kills someone because they were scared even though the person she kills has shown zero violence to anyone. Even worst the police let her go without questioning accepting that he deserved to die because he may or may not have paid someone to trash her house over. Bonkers and more far fetched than a Steven Spilberg movie, it beggars belief. Avoid this B movie because it's not even good it's just a frustrating dumb movie for dumb people!
Bikini Traffic School (1998)
Sex Doesn't Sell With This Dud!
This movie has literally nothing going for it not even the amount of breasts on offer in this so called Z list level comedy. The story intails of an old Aunt leaving her driving school to her grandaughter the strip tease artist. Yes it's that straight forward of a story it must have taken the film makers all of 5 min to come up with. To cut a long story short there are others who want the school business and are willing to do anything to succeed apart from trying to act because nobody in this lame ass movie can act. Got some soft porn scenes which are just as bad as the acting and if I made love like the guys do in this movie I would take up another hobby. Give this pile of trash a huge miss!
Freeze (2022)
Freeze Sucks!
Poor acting, poor costumes, poor looking monsters and this is just the 5 min of the movie. Poor acting goes into over acting by hamming it up like a cheap thespian on stage in Bognor Regis. The creatures remind me of the Jon Petwee , Dr Who series run of rubber monsters. Seriously this movie is not worth your time because it sucks on a huge scale. 1/10 for being the worst movie to call itself an horror movie. I haven't left any spoilers in this review because there is no worthy spoilers to be given away in truth because the film is just so awful. If anyone can justify making this movie I will be astounded but I am going for tax loss reasons!