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Reviews
Waitress (2007)
An awful mess
I can't believe this movie is so highly rated. All I can see is a badly written, badly acted mess. It tries to be heartfelt and bittersweet but it ends up just being creepy.
The main character is a miserable, angry woman who is being abused and slapped around by her evil, dim-witted husband. She plots her escape while having an affair with a married doctor. To make everything worse, she's pregnant but does not want the baby.
The writer/director wants to make a light, sweet comedy out of this grim stuff. It does not work at all. It's as if someone took the script of "Medea" and tried to make a rom-com.
Nathan Fillion is actually quite good. The rest is best forgotten.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
Vastly overrated
This is movie is a waste of time and celluloid. I wouldn't recommend it to
anyone. Why? Here are my three main reasons: 1) The main character is a really annoying piece of garbage. As a viewer
you have absolutely no reason to care about him. You find yourself rooting
for the guys who (allegedly) are trying to kill him. 2) The filmmakers have not decided if they believe the story that the movie
is based upon. Thus, the "exciting" scenes are not exciting. 3) Julia Roberts has absolutely no credibility as a hitwoman.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Nice FX, shame about the script
They spent an awful lot of money on the special effects, which are
very nice indeed. Alas, the same cannot be said about the script. The plot is
incomprehensible, the dialogue is boring and the character
development is non-existing. All in all, this is a disappointing sequel. As Persephone (one of the
new Matrix characters) says: "I just can't stand all the bulls**t -- it
just goes on and on."
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
Why not hire a *good* actor?
The main problem with this movie is Adam Sandler. He is not funny and he
cannot act. With a better lead actor it might have been enjoyable. Otherwise, fine performances by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Emily Watson,
even though Watson's character is underdeveloped. Oh, and the score is really annoying. Worst I've heard in a long time.
Red Dragon (2002)
Disappointing
Not entirely bad, but disappointing all the same. Pros: * Fun to see dr Lecter again * Some good acting (Edward Norton, Emily Watson and the excellent Philip
Seymour Hoffman) * Nice cinematography. Same look and feel as "Silence of the Lambs" Cons: * Sloppy, cliché-ridden script. * Ralph Fiennes as the villain: not scary, just boring. * Anthony Hopkins does seem a little tired. * Guy who plays Dr Chilton is really ridiculous. Many people say the 1986 version is better. I'll rent it and see if they are right. My rating: 5/10
Small Time Crooks (2000)
Disappointing
I hate to say this, but Woody Allen has become boring. The story is predictable, the acting is so-so, mr Allen's whining is not funny anymore. Even the pictures of New York City are not as beautiful as they used to be. My rating: 3/10
Frailty (2001)
Not very exciting
The basic story is good but the movie is slow and a little boring, despite the killings & other stuff that goes on. Bill Paxton is supposed to portray a deeply disturbed man, but he's not very scary. Matthew Mc Conaughey is better than
Paxton, but not great. The "surprise" ending is not surprising.
Zoolander (2001)
Earth to Ben Stiller: You are NOT a director
Watching Zoolander is like listening to a retarded person telling a joke. It's not funny, you feel embarrassed, you feel guilty for being embarrassed because the poor guy is trying so hard to be funny.
Ben Stiller obviously hasn't got a clue about directing. Or writing a screenplay. Or acting -- at least when he is directing at the same time. My rating: 1/10.
Ghost World (2001)
Never a dull moment
Not a teen movie but a great film about youth -- the angst, the insecurity, the loyalties and betrayals. It´s funny, sad, sometimes heartbreaking but never
sentimental. Steve Buscemi is fantastic as the record-collecting loser. My rating: 9/10.
Heartbreakers (2001)
Avoid at all costs
How can Sigourney Weaver, Gene Hackman and Ray Liotta make such a bad
movie? The script stinks, the acting stinks, the phony happy ending stinks. We are supposed to laugh at a corpse with a hard-on. Even the soundtrack is
annoying. Do NOT rent this so-called comedy.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Attack of the Bores
I can't believe people are being so enthusiastic about SW II. The dialogue is ridiculously bad, Portman and Christensen cannot act, most of the movie is slow and boring. There's no humour, no interesting plot twists, no character
development. Christopher Lee and some nice CGI monsters save it from being a
total disaster. My rating: 3/10.
You Can Count on Me (2000)
Truly great
One of the best movies I have seen. Very well written, very well acted, funny without being silly, heartbreaking without being sentimental. Laura Linney should have got an Oscar for her performance.
The Mummy Returns (2001)
A waste of time
There's a lot of bad action movies, but what makes this one stand out is the
extraordinarily bad special effects. The computer-generated images seem like
they belong in an old computer game, not in a new big-budget movie. The
CGI-villain in the end is really laughable. Otherwise you get a predictable script, mediocre acting, a lot of fist-fights. John Hannah is funny in 2-3 minutes but his character is underdeveloped.
Broken Arrow (1996)
Not very exciting
This must be John Woo's worst movie. The plot is thin, the dialogue is predictable. Christian Slater (who plays the hero) is pale and lifeless. Parts of the action sequences are ridiculous Samantha Mathis hangs on the side of a train, then under a train, yet her hair and clothes still are in perfect order. John Travolta, cast against type as the villain, is good. But that is not enough to justify the cost of renting this film.
Disclosure (1994)
Worst film of 1994?
Lame. Boring. Unbelievable. Badly written. Tries to make a statement about gender & society but does not know what it wants to say. I cannot understand why Michael Douglas agreed to star in this silly, misogynistic movie.
Fight Club (1999)
It stinks!
Boring, quasi-philosophical violence-feast. The plot is dumb, the "surprise" twist is not surprising, the dialogue is stiff and lifeless (with lines like "What you´re feeling is premature enlightenment"). Furthermore, Helena Bonham Carter is
really, truly miscast. How can anyone like this movie? (I know a lot of people do, but I just cannot understand why).
Zero Effect (1998)
A pleasant surprise
A really nice little movie -- not so much a detective story as a drama about love, loneliness and the burdens of our pasts. The plot is not perfect but the
characters are original and believable. Fine acting by Bill Pullman, playing a man who is observing the world instead of living in it. Ryan O'Neal is good, too, as the nervous villain.
The January Man (1989)
A screenplay from hell
(Warning -- contains spoilers) Do you like stupid plots? Then you are in for a real treat. I've never seen a movie with such a mind-boggingly dumb story. It involves a serial killer who only kills on days whose date is a prime number, and chooses his victims so that the locations of his crimes, when viewed in a computer model of the city, form the musical notes of a well-known song. (I'm not making this up!) This clever felon is hunted by our hero, the outsider cop who is innocently accused of corruption. Guess how it ends ... The movie is not unwatchable, however. It has a peculiar charm that comes from seeing good actors (Kevin Kline, Susan Sarandon, Harvey Keitel, Alan Rickman) struggling with an screenplay from hell.
Independence Day (1996)
Only for the brain-dead
This is the second most stupid movie I've seen (the most stupid was Air Force One). It features the otherwise good actor Bill Pullman playing the president of the USA, uttering lines like "We're being exterminated!" and "Let's nuke the b***ards!". The cliches, the sentimentality, the sappy music, the lame attempts at one-liners and, above all, the incredibly stupid plot -- how can anyone like this? The xenophobic message makes it even worse. The people responsible for this film deserve to be abducted by aliens.
Elizabeth (1998)
Cate fails
After reading a lot of positive reviews, I was disappointed by this movie. The costumes and scenography are well done, most of the cast is good and Geoffrey Rush (from "Shine") is great as the queen's ruthless adviser.
But Cate Blanchett simply is not up to it. She is supposed to portray a sweet girl who grows into a merciless queen, but she just walks around looking like she's having a toothache. The Elizabeth character should have been played by
someone with better acting skills and greater screen presence (Emma
Thompson, maybe?). Some scenes are too long and parts of the film are
boring.
Lisa Picard Is Famous (2000)
Pointless
Boring, narcissistic pseudo-documentary. The film-maker tries to make a statement but the problem is that he has nothing to say. The only good moment in this movie comes after about 10 minutes: a fake cereal commercial that is actually quite funny. The rest is a pointless, quasi-profound mess.
Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her (2000)
Short Cuts #2
Heavily influenced by "Short Cuts", this movie tells five different but connected stories about people in an American city. The main difference from SC is that all the main characters are female. The script is well written, although some characters are under-developed. Lots of good acting: Glenn Close and Holly Hunter are excellent, Cameron Diaz is
much better than I expected, Kathy Baker (whom I never heard of before) is a
real delight in her role as a lonely but warm-hearted single mother. Callista Flockhart, however, is unconvincing. She seems to have a hard time
playing anything else than Ally McBeal.
Ransom (1996)
Mel fails miserably
A strange, mean-spirited action movie. Could have been good but Mel Gibson totally fails to make his character believable. Gary Sinise is quite good as the villain, though.
Barb Wire (1996)
really, REALLY bad!
This movie is not a failure, because the movie makers obviously haven´t tried to make anything else than a mindless flick that lets Pamela Anderson show her cleavage. They have succeeded.
The Last Days of Disco (1998)
woody allen goes to the disco
Nice comedy with a lot of talking, not unlike a Woody Allen movie. The dialogue is very good. The characters are self-absorbed and should be annoying but you tend to like them anyway. Kate Beckinsale is especially good as a bitchy, insecure yuppie girl. The club scenes are well done but the clothes are more 90´s than 70´s. Not so much a film about the disco culture, rather a story about sex and relations before AIDS.