Reviews
The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009)
This is how you make a real film.
A pleasant surprise in an unpleasant way. This is not a slick Hollywood joyride. But a very gritty film depicting a kidnapping that plays out very true to life. In it's absurdities as well as it's logic. I highly recommend this film for it's suspense and refreshingly no nonsense attitude. It's not a branded cash cow, neither is it breathtakingly original. But it is true to itself and well worth your time.
Now I'd like to say a few words about something that I see often in comments online. You hear people complain about endings being predictable or cookie cutter. Now first off, this film had good twists and turns throughout, to the last minute I was guessing as to how it would end and what would happen to the people involved. It was cleverly written and well acted. And still people complain about the ending. Which I for one liked. What many seem to have a problem appreciating is when a film stays true to it's story. The plot works, the story is solid and follows the themes it wants to convey. Now I know it may sound like the movie has the awwww ending. But this is not a happily ever after story. It is true that many films have forced "good" endings, for the sake of appeasing the stupid masses. But if a movie has a weird ending, just for the sake of being different, that's just as bad. People should stop trying so hard to be different for the sake of being unique. You already are. So drop the act. Don't think you're hip and indie just because you do your best to be the opposite of everything else. It's nothing new, it's called growing up.
*** Spoiler ***
** ** ** The ending was a proper one, the girl got away and the two criminals got what was coming to them. They where both wrong in what they did, and why. Even if they where still human, Alice had the moral upper ground, relatively speaking. You can debate if she did the right thing going off with the money, but she deserved to make it out. Also her father might be the biggest asshole of them all, for all we know. We do know he disowned her. Call it karma or poetic justice, but it's all just solid storytelling. The ending was also a clever word-play on the title, which was a nice touch.
The Other Guys (2010)
How not to write comedy
First off Ferrel is a hit or miss actor, he can be excellent or just stupid, so I guess I mostly blame Adam McKay for this poor execution. And Wahlberg should just stay away from comedy.
When writing comedy for film there are two things you do not do. You do not explain the joke and you do not telegraph the joke. Doing this will spoil the joke. If you are a professional writer you should know this. These basic concepts are constantly broken with each and every joke in this movie. It's over the top, but in a bad way. All I could hear was "This is a joke. We are being funny. Please laugh when the sign that says 'Laugh Now' lights up."
When you are pointing out the fact that you are trying to be funny. You are insulting the intelligence of the audience. Let the watcher decide if your joke is funny or not."This was a smart idea..." Yes, we got the pun already. ha. ha. If I think the joke was bad or did not get it, let it pass. I might find the next joke funny. Don't hit me over the head with it. The movie also has the bad taste to beat dead horses. Jokes that where mildly amusing at best the first time around where repeated, often several times. The second time you know it's going to be a running joke and the third and so on,then it's just painful. Comedy is supposed to be spontaneous, take you off guard and if it's also witty, then it really hits home. This movie does neither.
What really boggles me though is after sitting through this movie, getting increasingly bored by it at a steady pace. It ends with a political statement. After the movie goes out of it's way to make sure I can't take it seriously, even as a comedy. It then has the audacity to try and make a point. By then I couldn't care less about anything coming from this movie. It had already lost my attention.
I have only two possible explanations for this movie. Either it was written by an amateur, or the entire movie is a scriptwriters inside joke. Realizing this is the writer/director behind stepbrothers, which was stupid, but at the same time undeniably hilarious. I know he can do better, so I have to conclude it's a stumbling attempt at the later.
**Minor spoiler** It was clear already from the two super-cops that the movie tries to poke fun at the genre, but it really got to me with the explosion scene. It's so overplayed and the point is so painfully obvious that it simply does not work. Everyone knows (ok a few people might not, IE. children) that Hollywood physics are laughable. It's one thing to spoof that, but it's another to drag on about it. You are undoing the punchline of your own joke. And don't get me started on the final shootout scene, it's not even worth bothering with. **End spoiler**
Wanted (2008)
"The rule of cool" is not a good enough excuse for this.
"The rule of cool" is what this entire movie lives on. But it does not work. No. Because there is no suspension of disbelief. This movie p***ed me off because it was constantly insulting my intelligence with a straight face. The plot and the characters are completely random and non-nonsensical. "Oh, he's just saying that", I bet you're thinking. Which is why in the following there are Spoilers (can hardly call it that though, since none of it has any significance to what you would call a story).
So what is so random? How about exploding rats and magical baths that cure any wounds instantly. Having increased blood-flow will give you lightning reflexes and godlike stamina, despite the fact that you have lived your entire life as a shy accountant. Becoming a master assassin is simple, just let strange people abuse you for a while. A main character that goes to any length to avenge the death of a father he has never known in his entire life, twice. Yeah and spying on someone, never letting yourself be known or do anything at all to intervene with their life, shows you care. Also you should kill people you know nothing about, simply because someone tells you their name. Making a train derail on a bridge, killing hundreds of innocents is justified, in order to kill one man who is opposing an organization of assassins who operate by the rules of a cult. If you suddenly hit your office co-worker hard enough to punch out their teeth they will obviously think you are "the man". The list goes on.
There are as many plot holes as action sequences (ie. a lot) and every action sequence completely disregards the laws of physics, for no apparent reason. This is only attempted to be explained once by "your heart beats faster then a regular human, therefore you can shoot the wings of a fly." Literally. But even if you can swallow that, this only applies to two people in the movie, yet everyone apparently has blatant superhuman abilities. Laws of nature does not apply as long as people die. What? No. No movie, just no. Bad movie!
As the movie progressed I cared less and less about the characters or what was going on. None of it made any sense. After a while I was just waiting for the pink elephants to marsh in playing their trombones.
The action itself should at least be cool, but it's all completely ridiculous. The movie can not even pull of a decent exiting scene because I just could not buy into any off it. "Gun Kata" galore, the art of automatically knowing where everyone is so you don't even need to see them to shoot them. And guns that dead people drop just conveniently fall into your hands if you are bad-ass enough. Shooting with a gun that has an object stuck in the barrel makes it backfire! Writers, read a ****ing book! Even Street Fighter the movie was fun because you could at least get a good laugh out of it. This is just mind numbing.
A weaving machine produces a weave that a secret organization translates into binary code, getting ASCII letters that spell out the names of people who have to die. Why? Because fate says so...
How are you supposed to be able to take that seriously. A five year old on drugs would not blurt out something like that. And from there it just gets worse... Yet the movie seems to take itself dead serious. This is not satire. If you believe enough, you can shoot bullets in arcs around objects and hit targets... NO! You can't just do random stuff for absolutely no reason at all. It does not matter how good your CGI effects are. It's still entirely pointless. Writing random words on bullets that fly by is not clever. It's abuse of rendering power that the CGI department could be using to make something worthwhile.
I wish I could unsee this movie. A movie that has Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie. They alone should be able to make the movie at least watchable. Just goes to show that no matter how much money you pour into a worthless script and a director that only cares about special effects, it will not produce gold.
Serial Experiments Lain (1998)
A solid series.
A solid series. The story was great and well laid out, the paseing of the series is good from begining to end, it was more tense than thaught provokeing, but it did have its points. Some think its slow and hard to follow, I for one didnt. Its the kind of series where action is left out and mood setting is important. I like that kind of series. You need to have some extent of computer jargon and interest if you want to get the most of the series. Average 9.2(10)
Puni Puni Poemi (2001)
Sad to say I am dissapointed at this film.
Sad to say I am dissapointed at this film. Excel saga melted my heart and made my brain do happy little skips. (Couldent resist that ^_^) Although the humor is similar the characters where just so.... But it was nice to see Nabeshin again. Poemi just seems an Excel wannabe. And I get fed up with the magical schoolgirl routine pretty fast. And the overly "ecchi"nes of it all just didnt apeal to me... Maybe I just cant get over the fact that the Excel saga episodes didnt last forever... I cant bear myself to enjoy this, it seems just a hollow copy. Average 6.5(10)
Kôkaku kidôtai: Stand Alone Complex (2002)
Top notch!
Top notch! solid animation, catchy music. Great action. But above all intriguing characters and stories that make you think... Has a depth that no single movie can achive, the series format is used to its full potential. The stories treat issues of the future that are becomeing a reality, AI, cyborgs, technology acheveing more and mor of the impossible. But it is also about life... this series goes much further than the movie in all aspects. The only problem I had was the silly looking outfit our heroine seems to prefer, but you get used to it. Anyhow, a must see! Average 10(10)
Rurôni Kenshin: Seisô-hen (2001)
Truly Beautifull.
Truly Beautifull. I havent seen the series, but has seen the first OVA and Requiem for the res... So much of this film was pretty messy as sequenses from this long series swirl by one after another without much explanation. But I read up on some Fan sites and the events, history and characters became much clearer, and I could appretiate the soul of the film without haveing seen the series. And I have to say that a film can move me deeply but I rarely cry, at all... But through the end of the second part I just wept. It was so sad and so beautifull... The categories I have judged separatly, and it still ended up as an all 10(nearly), but the most exellent parts of this anime are the characters and the great story. Maybe I will watch the series one day, but for me the serious, mature Kenshin that is portrayed in the 2 OVAS will allways be the one who stays in my heart and soul. Do see The first OVA or the series before you see this film as it is not stand alone in any way. Average 9.8(10)
Metoroporisu (2001)
Great background animation, but the Characters are cartoony in a bad way, whitch disturbes the whole picture.
Great background animation, but the Characters are cartoony in a bad way, whitch disturbes the whole picture. The soundtrack is good, a kind of blues, jazz thing. The story is Ok, but feels shallow, due to the crappy characters. The ending is beautifully done, sends shivvers up my spine. but the film as a whole doesnt stand as much. Average 6(10)
Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)
An ok anime, its too short to be anything else.
An ok anime, its too short to be anything else. The animation is fresh, blending drawing and cgi. the story is thin, but if developed more it could have been good. The mood is pretty good, if you dig vampires. The main character is cool, but shallow. This film could have been so much more, but as it stands, its Ok for a Friday night. Average 5.5(10)
Escaflowne (2000)
Its not that it was bad, it just wasnt good...
Its not that it was bad, it just wasnt good... at all. the animation was pretty good, but the soundtrack was at times pretentious and other times just plain bad, it was rather anoying in fact. I couldnt find any originality in the story, I havent seen the series, perhaps it does give the story some weight as some say. And the characters where so standardised, uninteresting. nothing in this movie stuck on me, Im sure I will forget all about it pretty quickly. It was a bit of a relief when it ended... Average 3.5(10)
Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
Another great film by Miyazaki.
Another great film by Miyazaki. Good for the whole family. Great animation, great story, great characters. The main character is a sissy little girl, but you realy feel with her as she is swept away on a great adventure. the characters are diverse and interesting. A modern classic. Average 9.5(10)
Heppoko jikken animêshon excel saga (1999)
I love it!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I love it!!!!! Satire for the anime freak. And as comedy in a broader aspect, it Rocks! I love the characters, especially Nabeshin(Whats your hobby? The afro...) and Illpalazzo(evil overlord with a good intent!). They all crack me up! And I never get tiered of them. But for safety reasons i only watch 1 episode a day, otherwist I suspect my brain would melt from the Crasy wierdness that is EXCEL SAGA. Puchuuu?..
Have now watched all 26 ep. And I have to say that the only bad thing about this anime is that it ended. The music is chatchy, and the characters realy grew on me, I love them *^_^*. I raised the points for animation as I realised for the style and form it is trying to put thru, its just excelent...(pun) Average 10(10)
Rurôni Kenshin: Meiji kenkaku romantan - Tsuioku-hen (1999)
This anime deserves an all 10
This anime deserves an all 10, even if you take each category seperatly. The animation and music is just beautiful. The story and the characters feel real and moveing. The visual storytelling is well implied, And the swordfighting is the best Ive seen in an anime, for realism and feel. You cant recreate the first time you saw a film, but still, I will have to watch this again and again... I have high hopes for the secound OVA... Average 10(10)
Jin-Rô (1999)
A bit of a disapointment.
A bit of a disapointment. nice animation, some cool designs. otherwise pretty lame. Not a complete waste of time, but the story is not that compelling, and feels a bit pointless. It has a dark mood to it, and if you dont like the story you wont get much out of it. Average 4.8(10)
Rurôni Kenshin: Ishin shishi e no Requiem (1997)
Maybe good if your a fan of the series.
Maybe good if your a fan of the series. But for my part, Reminisence is the Real Kenshin film. It has much better animation and sound, but this film is older so you have to take that into consideration. Even apart from that I think Reminisence was deeper and touched me In a way this film never could. The fight scenes are stylised and boreing, the characters dont seem convinceing, the story is ok but could have been better executed. All in all, not a bad film, but it didnt stand out. Average 6(10)
Shin seiki Evangelion Gekijô-ban: Air/Magokoro wo, kimi ni (1997)
The Epic ending to a good series.
The Epic ending to a good series. This is where the series takes its real turn from what in the first episode looked like a kids show, into something very different. This one is a real thinker, but the action parts are still kick ass. Be prepared, this film is hard to follow and comprehend at times, but if you are prepared to think and feel and dont turn away when things start to get wierd, this film will blow your mind. Average 10(10)
Pâfekuto burû (1997)
Good story. Creepy mood. An ok film.
Good story. Creepy mood. An ok film. But when it ended, I just thaught "Ok, so thats that...". It didnt stick with me. Worth the watch perhaps, but not that good. Average 6(10)
Mononoke-hime (1997)
One of the best films ever made.
One of the best films ever made. Second only to Kaze no tani no Nausicaä. It holds much of the same magic that Nausicaä have, it pulls you in, and its message is in the same vein. Every aspect of this movie is just top notch, what else can I say? Who ever you are, see this one... Average 10(10)
Chage & Aska: On Your Mark (1995)
See it, its definatley worth 6 minutes of your time!
The song was ok, nothing more. But the animation is great, Its interesting to see a storyline produced without a word said... the story even manages to have some twists to it, some humor and beautifull images (and angels, love angels...), dispite the meager song, I feel happy whenever I see this small piece. See it, its definatley worth 6 minutes of your time! Average 8.7(10)
Kôkaku kidôtai (1995)
A top Anime.
A top Anime. Great animation, good action. A moody, exellent soundtrack. Very interesting story, deals with questions like "What is life?", and technology, is it helping us advance? a bit creepy, but intersting. slick, cool characters. Definatley one of the best. Average 9.8(10)
Shinseiki Evangelion (1995)
This is one of the most interesting animes I have ever seen.
This is one of the most interesting animes I have ever seen. First of all forget the two last episodes of the original series, they can be interesting for the hardcore fan, otherwise dont bother. instead see "The end of evangelion" the film that replaces the last episodes. Now, what makes Evangelion so interesting is its development as you watch episode after episode and finaly the movie. At first its childish then it rolls over to cool, cruel, deep, and finaly totally Morbid. the story is interesting, so is its point and it twists in verry unexpected ways. The action is Ok, but there is much more to it, but if you are not prepared to think and feel alot and have a weak stomach you will not enjoy this anime. Otherwise, a must see... Average 9.3(10)
Jûbê ninpûchô (1993)
As an pure action film, is perfecly Ok.
As an pure action film, is perfecly Ok. It has lots of cool fightning, if you like the gory, morbid sort. The animation is good enogh. So if you like a good ass kicking, creapy yet rediculous bad guys, and think a good story(Though I have seen worse) and character developement is for pussies, this is a film for you. If you like this, go see, "Sword for truth", its basicaly the same. Average 4.2(10)
Kurenai no buta (1992)
Verry nice!
Verry nice! Loved this film, it was a funny film, made me happy. The animation and characters where great. But it was not deep enough to make an impression, although it was better than your run of the mill. It is not the kind of film you feel you want to see again. But it was well worth a watch. Average 8.7(10)
Rôdosu-tô senki (1990)
A good anime.
A good anime. Basicaly a standard Dungeons and Dragons setting. the characters are very steriotypical, but it all comes together in an enjoyable way. This film is for Fantasy fans, others will probably not enjoy it as much. The story has some interesting twists. Its not that original, but it is a perfecly good fantasy series, which is very, very rare indeed. just dont take it too seriousley. Average 7.2(10)
Hotaru no haka (1988)
A gripping anime, a world class drama.
A great film. A gripping anime, a world class drama. And the only film ever to make me cry, and then I meen realy weep, not just shed a tear. It realy touched me deep inside. Its a film about pride, about what it can do when you have to much of it. It is also a film about war, not at the front, but at home, among the civilains, and the children... The characters felt so real. It portrays people in a way that many non-animes fail to, it shows the strength of the artform. And it shows you dont need mechas, supernovas or vampires to make a great anime. Average 10(10)