The 10th Kingdom (2000)

Scott Cohen: Wolf

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Quotes 

• Wolf : No, no! "Rare" implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me.

• Tony : [about his relationship with Virginia]  I need to know if your intentions are honorable.

  Wolf : [very long pause as Wolf considers]  No, not really.

• Tony : All right, all right. Wait, wait! I have a question! What is the point in having a door that has a horrible death behind it? Huh?

  [picks up frog] 

  Frog : Get your hands off me!

  Tony : What does that achieve?

  Frog : What are you doing?

  Tony : I mean, what is the purpose of your life? Just to be a pain?

  Frog : Don't touch me there, only my girlfriend touches me there!

  [Tony throws the frog through one of the doors] 

  Frog : WHOA!

  [Tony slams the door, there's a large explosion and fireball] 

  Wolf : I guess it's the other one.

• Virginia : I don't intend to have any children, thank you very much.

  Wolf : Well, it's a little bit late for that.

  Virginia : What do you mean?

  Wolf : You got a little wolf cub growing inside of you! A little furry chap, just like me, only much smaller. Believe me. I'm a wolf. I know these things.

  Virginia : Really?

  Wolf : I just know.

• Virginia : I have a hard time trusting people. I just never wanna jump unless I'm sure somebody's gonna catch me.

  Wolf : Oh, I'll catch you. And if I miss for any reason, I'll sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health.

• Wolf : I picked up your trail a few days ago.

  Virginia : But how? We went through a mountain.

  Wolf : Virginia, I could follow your scent across time itself.

• Wolf : Virginia, please forgive me! I-I didn't mean to be so rude, it's just that my-my cycle is-is coming on! You see, once a month, I get very irrational and angry and I just wanna pick a fight with anyone who comes near me!

  Virginia : That sounds familiar.

• Wolf : I've always wanted to say this. Love of my life, let down your lustrous locks.

• Wolf : [singing]  A shepherdess makes quite a mess, but little lambs are lovely.

• Wolf : Doc, I met this terrific girl and I really, really, *really* like her. But, the thing is...

  Dr. Horowitz : Well, go on, say it.

  Wolf : I...

  Dr. Horowitz : Say it!

  Wolf : Not sure whether I-I-I wanna love her or eat her.

• Wolf : I get the feeling you still don't completely trust me.

  Virginia : I don't trust you at all! You tried to eat my grandmother.

• Wolf : You don't trust nobody.

  Virginia : I don't trust you, no.

  Wolf : Well, you may not get hurt, but huff puff, you won't get loved either.

• Wolf : Butter would not melt in my mouth. Well, it would melt. Of course it would melt, but very slowly.

• Wolf : But you don't understand, I won't be here next week!

  Dr. Horowitz : Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, you're not going to intimidate me with suicide threats.

• Dr. Horowitz : Now I'm going to give you a word, and I want you to say the first word that comes into your mind.

  Wolf : Oh, yeah! Oh, a game. Yeah.

  Dr. Horowitz : Here we go. Home.

  Wolf : Cooking.

  Dr. Horowitz : Coward.

  Wolf : Chicken!

  Dr. Horowitz : Wedding.

  Wolf : Cake.

  Dr. Horowitz : Dead.

  Wolf : Meat.

  Dr. Horowitz : Sexual.

  Wolf : Ooh, appetite.

  Dr. Horowitz : Love.

  Wolf : Oh! To eat anything fluffy! Ah, sorry, sorry, more than one word. Start again?

• Wolf : You are as safe as a brick-built pig house.

• Restaurant Owner : I am the greatest chef in the Nine Kingdoms! Folks travel hundreds of miles just to eat my food!

  Wolf : Yeah, well my date's from a different dimension, so don't slip up.

• Wolf : Bacon sizzling away on an iron frying pan!

  [singing] 

  Wolf : Baste it! Roast it! Toast it! Nibble it! Chew it! Bite right through it! Wobble it! Gobble it! Wrap it 'round a couple of chickens and I am *ravenous*!

• Sally Peep : If my door wasn't locked, I'd be scared you'd come into my house and huff and puff and blow all my clothes off!

  Wolf : Where do you live, Sally?

• Evil Queen : I've turned Prince Wendell into a dog.

  Wolf : Good idea.

• Wolf : Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realize I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it: "Breaking the Cycle", "Heal Yourself in 7 Days", "Stop Blaming Yourself, Please", and "Help for the Bedwetting Child", which I picked up by mistake. But I've got them all!

• Wolf : Wolfies just *pretend* to do naughty things.

• Tony : [Wolf offers to test Wendell's "prince sensing skills" before tossing a stick at his gold-imprisoned dog form]  That's not funny!

  Wolf : It can get funnier if we keep on doing it.

• Virginia : You come an inch closer and I swear I'll shout my head off.

  Wolf : Oooh, that is what is known as an empty threat.

• Tony : All right, Mr. I-don't-have-to-look-but-I-can-chop-wood, your name is Rumpelstiltskin.

  Woodsman : No.

  Tony : I said, "Rumpelstiltskin".

  Wolf : [frustrated and scared]  That's not his name!

  Woodsman : Guess again.

  Tony : Oh, ah, Rumpelstiltskin Junior?

  [Wolf sighs and shakes his head] 

  Tony : Rumpelstiltskin the Fourth?

  Woodsman : No.

  Tony : Does it have a Rumpel in it?

• Wolf : Oh, let me put your mind at rest! Now that I've seen you, eating you is out of the question! Not even on the menu! Now, I know this is sudden but... How about a date?

  [Virginia holds a broom in between the two of them] 

  Wolf : We started badly, but I take all the blame for that.

• Wolf : I give you my solemn wolf word.

• Wolf : We either live happily ever after or we get killed by horrible curses.

• Wolf : Forgive us, noble woodsman, but have you seen a-a gorgeous girl with very long hair?

  Woodsman : I haven't seen anything, I'm blind.

  Tony : A blind woodsman?

  Woodsman : Have you ever seen a tree move?

• Wolf : [catching scent of Wendell in a crowded restaurant]  I smell dog!