- Carter: This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.
- Captain Diel: Two officers were shot, one man lost a pinkie.
- Carter: But didn't nobody die!
- Captain Diel: You destroyed half a city block!
- Carter: That block was already messed up.
- Captain Diel: And you lost a lot of evidence!
- Carter: We still got a little bit left.
- Carter: That's why I don't have no partner, that's one thing I learned from my daddy.
- Lee: Your father was a policeman?
- Carter: Fifteen years LAPD.
- Lee: My daddy also a policeman.
- Carter: Your daddy was a cop?
- Lee: Not a cop, an officer, a legend all over Hong Kong.
- Carter: My daddy a legend too all over America. My daddy once arrested fifteen people in one night by himself.
- Lee: My daddy arrested 25 by himself.
- Carter: ...My daddy once saved five crackheads from a burnin' building, by himself.
- Lee: My daddy once caught a bullet with his bare hand.
- Carter: My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too.
- Lee: Hey, don't talk about my father.
- Carter: Don't talk about my daddy.
- [meeting Lee at the airport]
- Carter: Please tell me you speak English. I'm Detective Carter. Do you speaka any English? DO-YOU-UNDERSTAND-THE-WORDS-THAT-ARE-COMING-OUT-OF-MY-MOUTH?
- [Lee just smiles]
- Carter: I cannot believe this SHIT! First I get a bullshit assignment, now Mr. Rice-a-Roni don't even speak American. C'mon, man, my ride over here. Put your bag in the back.
- [Lee pauses]
- Carter: PUT-YOUR-BAG-IN-THE-BACK!
- [Lee hands the bag to Carter]
- Carter: No, no, no, you put your own shit in the back! I'm not a skycap!
- Lee: You must take me to see Consul Han right away.
- Carter: Man, just sit there and shut up! This ain't no democracy.
- Lee: Yes, it is.
- Carter: No, it ain't. This is the United States of James Carter. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito. Your ass belongs to me.
- Sang: The drop will be made tonight. The amount will be fifty million dollars.
- Carter: Fifty million dollars? Man, who do you think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton?
- Sang: We want twenty million in fifties.
- Carter: Okay, twenty million in fifties.
- Sang: Twenty million in twenties.
- Carter: Okay, twenty million in twenties.
- Sang: And ten million in tens.
- Carter: Ten million in tens. Okay. Ey d'you want any fives with that?
- [Carter is trying to convince Officer Bobby to let him into the prison after-hours]
- Carter: Bobby, didn't I look the other way that time you bought that bag of weed?
- Officer Bobby: I was splittin' it with you!
- Carter: Well, didn't I give you the bigger half?
- Lee: Ah! Beach Boys!
- Carter: Oh, hell no! You didn't just touch my goddamn radio!
- Lee: The Beach Boys are great American music.
- Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ass whuppin'. Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man!
- [Carter has ordered Chinese takeout]
- Carter: Damn, Chin, this is some greasy shit. You ain't got no better food, like some chicken wings, some baby back ribs, some fries or something?
- Chin: Chinese food, no soul food here!
- Carter: I didn't say nothin' 'bout no soul food, I said you got some better food. I don't want that greasy shit. How you gonna sell a big box of grease?
- [Chin conplains in Chinese]
- Carter: [turns cross] I'm chilly a what?
- Lee: [grabs Carter] Come on!
- Chin: I'm no punk bitch.
- Carter: I ain't no punk bitch, neither!
- Chin: I'M no punk bitch!
- Carter: I'm about to knock that hat off your head, Chin.
- [Carter is riding in a tow truck pulling up to the Consulate; he meets the guard whose ass Lee kicked earlier]
- Carter: Hey, man, y'all see a little Asian dude about this height with a steering wheel on his arm?
- FBI Gate Guard #1: Go screw yourself.
- Carter: What did you say?
- FBI Gate Guard #1: I said go screw yourself.
- Carter: You take your little sensitive ass up there and let me in. Get out of the way! Don't make me get up out of this truck! Man when I get up in there I'm slappin' somebody, I don't play that.
- Agent Russ: Carter, we're impressed with the great job you did yesterday, so when you get back there's gonna be an FBI badge waiting for you.
- Carter: You serious? I don't know what to say. It's like a dream come true. I got an idea though, I got an idea. Why don't y'all take that badge and shove it up your ass. All up in your ass. I'm LAPD.
- [Walks towards the plane]
- Agent Whitney: Bitch.
- Carter: Man, what you got me eatin'?
- Lee: That's eel.
- Carter: Is it good?
- Lee: Very good.
- Carter: What you got?
- Lee: Camel's Hump.
- Carter: What?
- Lee: [enuciates] Camel's Hump
- [Carter takes a bite of the eel while Lee eats his Camel's Hump]
- Carter: Mmm! Kinda good. Needs a little Hot sauce, but it's kinda good though.
- Carter: [sees a man smoking pot] Is this weed?
- [starts smelling the joint]
- Carter: You got a perscription for this?
- Cigaweed Man: Uhh... it's uhh... uhhh...
- Carter: Where's it at? I should take your ass to jail, you know that?
- Cigaweed Man: For what?
- Carter: For what? Look at this!
- Cigaweed Man: That's nothing but a cigarette...
- Carter: That's cigaweed!
- Cigaweed Man: Well it looked like a cigarette...
- Carter: You better have glaucoma.
- Cigaweed Man: I do.
- Lee: Leave me alone. A man like you could never understand.
- Carter: A man like me?
- Lee: You are devoted only to yourself. You're ashamed of being a police officer, you dishonor your father's name!
- Carter: You don't know nothing about my father.
- Lee: You said your father is a legend.
- Carter: My father WAS a legend. My father was killed making a routine traffic stop in broad daylight by some punk who didn't want no ticket. His partner was supposed to get out of the car and back him up but never did. My father was just as devoted as you, and now he's dead, and for what? A traffic ticket and some punk? You tell me, where's the honor in that?
- Lee: You believe your father wasted his life, that he died for nothing?
- Carter: Prove me wrong.
- Luke: [after Lee leaves the room, Carter laughs] Don't come up here in my place of business and scaring me like that, god damn.
- Carter: I was just playing, man, gimme a hug.
- [Luke and Carter hug]
- Carter: I'm just schoolin' that rookie, man, showin' him the ropes. Why you didn't come to church sunday?
- Luke: I had some things to take care of, but I made the night service, though.
- Carter: Yeah, yeah, look, com'ere, I wanna holla at you.
- Luke: What's up?
- Carter: I need to know who this guy is runnin' 'round town buying up all these explosives and weapons.
- Luke: I know nothin' about that, baby.
- Carter: Luke, Look man, I know what you do man, and the only reason why I ain't busted your ass is 'cause you my cousin, and it'd kill Aunt Bootsie.
- Luke: Why you gonna put Aunt Bootsie in this?
- Carter: Luke, I ain't playing, man. I know she gotta bad heart, but if I have to I will bust your ass. Tell me something.
- Luke: The word down in Chinatown is there's this new dude in town. Bad ass dude outta Hong Kong, buying up every god damn thing.
- Carter: What's his name?
- Luke: Shit, I don't know his name, man, he ain't buyin' shit from me.
- Carter: You don't know his name?
- Luke: Naw.
- Carter: God damn, don't nobody know his name.
- Captain Diel: Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.
- Carter: You're God damn right.
- Waitress: For one?
- Carter: No, for two, I'm here for a meeting with Mr. Juntao.
- Waitress: I'm sorry I do not know Mr. Juntao.
- Carter: Look maybe you don't understand, I'm Mr. Juntao's lawyer, legal advisor, he got into some shit again and he told me to come down here and I'm a very busy man, ain't got time to be down here this late but I'm down here, my wife want me to come home, my baby is shittin' all over the house, he needs diapers, would you please go get Mr. Juntao?
- Carter: I don't want no partner, I don't need no partner and I ain't never gonna have no partner. Did Kojak have a partner?
- Tania Johnson: Yeah the fat guy.
- Carter: Well he wasn't ever with him. Did Columbo have a partner?
- Tania Johnson: Captain Diel ordered me to go with you on that bust because you needed bomb squad back up but once again you screwed me and you screwed yourself.
- [after Clive refuses to answer Carter, Lee steps in his way]
- Clive Cod: Oh, you want some too? I'll give you all you want.
- Lee: Give me a name.
- Clive Cod: I ain't telling you shit.
- [Lee takes out Soo-Yung's picture]
- Lee: She's only eleven years old. I don't want her to die.
- [Clive shifts his gaze]
- Lee: Look at the picture! I don't care about him, I don't care about you! I care about the little girl. Give me the name.
- [pause]
- Clive Cod: [lowers voice] The guy's name is Juntao. I never seen him.
- Lee: Where can I find him?
- Clive Cod: Foo Chow Restaurant, Chinatown.
- [He heads back to his cell]
- Carter: Foo Chow Restaurant? Thank you, Clive!
- Clive Cod: [to Lee] Get rid of this guy, he's gonna get you killed.
- Carter: We must be... must be a misunderstanding. I was sent down here for the big case. For the kidnapping. The little girl?
- Carter: [to Griffin] Want to blow something up, huh? Come on push the button. Push the button.
- Soo Yung: [to Carter] What are you doing?
- Carter: [to Soo Yung] Just playing, play along.
- [to Griffin]
- Carter: Come on push the button!
- Soo Yung: Yeah come on, push the button!
- Carter: Blow everybody up!
- Soo Yung: Yeah blow everybody up!
- Carter: Push the goddamn button!
- Soo Yung: Push the goddamn button!
- Carter: You heard what she said. Come on you get everybody excited about something being blown up, and look at your punk British-ass!
- Carter: I'm lookin' out for you when I reach the top. I'm gonna make you mayor.
- Captain Diel: I'd rather you didn't.
- [Tania is trying to defuse a bomb without killing all of them]
- Tania Johnson: Roses are red / Violets are blue / Sugar is sweet/ And so are you.
- Captain Diel: [On the phone with the FBI] Well, even if I said anything, who would want the Bullshit job.
- [about Carter]
- Captain Diel: He's a disgeace to me, he's a disgrace to my department, he's a disgrace to...
- [Seeing Carter coming in]
- Captain Diel: Dan, I'm sending someone right over.
- [Hangs up]
- Carter: Cap'n, Cap'n, I know you read the papers this morning. They lie, you know I don't do nothin' like that, y'know how they exaggerate, they just want a story.
- Captain Diel: 2 officers were shot, 1 man lost a pinky.
- Carter: But, nobody died.
- Captain Diel: You destroyed half a city block.
- Carter: That block was already messed up.
- Captain Diel: You destroyed a lot of evidence.
- Carter: We still have some left.
- Captain Diel: What you did was dangerous, and completely against policy, not only that...
- [Leans over to him, calmly]
- Captain Diel: You did a good job.
- Carter: [In disbelief] What?
- Captain Diel: Everybody is so image proned, a lot of the cops around here are afraid of their own goddamn shadow, I like an officer that can, lay it on the line.