- Sgt. Petersen: With joyous memories, we leave the mystical city of Da Nang! What gay adventure lies ahead? Brother, this trip is gonna make LSD feel like aspirin!
- Gladys Cooper: It's strange that we've never read of this in the newspapers.
- Sergeant Muldoon: Well... that's newspapers for you, ma'am. You could fill volumes with what you don't read in them."
- Hugh Parkinson: I'm Hugh Parkinson. I happen to be a newspaper man. Since you've been in Vietnam perhaps you could answer a question that many of our subscribers asked.
- Sergeant Muldoon: We'll try.
- Hugh Parkinson: Why is the United States waging this ruthless war?
- Sergeant Muldoon: Foreign policy decisions are not made by the military. A soldier goes where he is told to go, and fight whomever he is told to fight.
- George Beckworth: How do you know we should be fighting for this present government? They've had no free elections. They've had no constitution. Six months ago, a committee was appointed to form a constitution... still no constitution.
- Sergeant Muldoon: The school I went to, Mr. Beckworth, taught us that the thirteen colonies, with proper and educated leadership, all with the same goal in mind, AFTER the Revolutionary War, took from 1776 to 1787, eleven years of peaceful effort, before they came up with a paper that all thirteen colonies would sign... our present Constitution.
- [the audience applauds]
- George Beckworth: That's very good, Sergeant. But there are still a lot of people who believe that this is simply a war between the Vietnamese people! It's their war, let's let them handle it.
- Sergeant Muldoon: Let them handle it, Mr. Beckworth?
- [Points to a collection of weapons]
- Sergeant Muldoon: Captured weaponry.
- [as Muldoon takes the weapons from the board, he names them, then drops them on the table in front of Beckworth]
- Sergeant Muldoon: From Red China: Chicom K-50, Chinese communist! SKS Soviet-made carbine, Russian communist! Ammunition, Czechoslovakian-made... Czech communist! No sir, Mr. Beckworth! It doesn't take a lead weight to fall on me or a hit from one of those weapons to recognize that what's involved here is communist domination of the world!
- Colonel Mike Kirby: What are you going to say in that newspaper of yours about us in Vietnam?
- George Beckworth: If I say what I feel, I may be out of a job.
- Sergeant Muldoon: [after seeing him in non-military issued pajamas] Peterson, I worry about you. Three tours of duty and you're still acting like a civilian!
- Sgt. Petersen: Muldoon, I'm not a Marine. I believe in my comfort!
- Capt. Nim: My home is in Hanoi. I go home too someday. You see. First, kill all stinking Cong, then go home.
- Capt. MacDaniel: [Later] Sounds like he means it.
- Captain Coleman: He keeps score on the wall of his hootch. He personally greased 52 this year. Says he'll double it by next year if all the yards would get out of his way and give him a clear field of fire.
- Sergeant Muldoon: Are you sure that's what he wanted?
- Colonel Mike Kirby: Affimative! That's what he wanted and that's what he's gonna get.
- Sergeant Muldoon: We'll maybe he liked the idea of having so many men think about him every day.
- Colonel Mike Kirby: Besides that... It SINGS!
- [exits]
- Sergeant Muldoon: [to himself] It sings? That's what he said. Provo's Privy, It DOES sing!
- George Beckworth: Petersen, what was all that talk about ladders and coffins
- Sgt. Petersen: Oh, when Charlie knows he's got a nice box to be buried in, he's just as brave as hell.
- George Beckworth: What about the ladders?
- Sgt. Petersen: They throw the ladders across the wire to get at us. And later they use them for litters.
- George Beckworth: Later on... you mean after everybody's dead?
- Sgt. Petersen: Yes, everybody. Men... women... and children. Everybody.
- Doc McGee: How come you like blowing things up so much?
- Sergeant Muldoon: My dad gave me a chemistry set. It got bigger than both of us.
- Captain Coleman: Oh, uh, I noticed a load of corrugated tin has miraculously appeared overnight.
- Capt. MacDaniel: Sergeant Petersen provided it.
- Captain Coleman: Well, that's a good man you've got there.
- Colonel Mike Kirby: Sergeant Petersen say where he got it?
- Capt. MacDaniel: He, uh, said The Good Fairy left it.
- Colonel Mike Kirby: [smiling] I hope he said The Good Fairy left it, SIR!
- Colonel Mike Kirby: What is there not to like? Who is she?
- Col. Morgan: Her name is Lin. Her father was chief of the Han Phou provence.
- Col. Cai: Until he refused to cooperate with the Viet Cong.
- Colonel Mike Kirby: So, they killed him.
- Col. Cai: They murdered him and her little brother in the most hideous way.
- Colonel Mike Kirby: That's their style.
- George Beckworth: Is this what you really do out here? Sponsor an Inquisition?
- Colonel Mike Kirby: Oh, is that what you're gonna say in that newspaper of yours?
- George Beckworth: I'm gonna tell my readers the facts of what I saw in there!
- Colonel Mike Kirby: What you saw in there was nothing.
- George Beckworth: I don't call brutality nothing! Torturing one of your own South Vietnamese men!
- Colonel Mike Kirby: That man in there was lining us up for a VC mortar crew!
- George Beckworth: Even if that's true, there is still such a thing as due process!
- Colonel Mike Kirby: Out here, due process is a bullet!
- Sgt. Petersen: [after being woken up by Sgt Muldoon] 3:30! Is that right, Sarge?
- Sergeant Muldoon: That's right, Soldier-boy. That's right!
- Sgt. Petersen: We'd better get some sleep! We've got a hell of a lot of work to do tomorrow!